Having our cake and eating it too...

Last Friday night, we were honored guests at a birthday party…odd thing is, it wasn’t Jim’s birthday nor mine. It was Gabriel’s birthday – the now-2-year old son of our gardener, Freddy and his wife, Mary. They had asked if we would attend and Freddy asked if we would take pictures for them. Of course, we were thrilled with both requests! Anytime we are asked to come to someone’s home, we readily accept if at all possible.

Freddy knew that Tom and Nora were here visiting with us and so he made sure we understood the invitation included all of us. Unfortunately, Nora injured her knee the day before and they decided it would be best if they stayed home. They missed a great party! We have heard before that children’s birthdays are a big deal here as the child mortality rate in Nicaragua is high. The Red Cross has statistics that state that 47 out of 1000 children under the age of 5 will die. I think it’s higher than that for several reasons – the lack of reporting the death due mainly to the lack of education and fear of governmental intervention and/or financial hardships which might force isolated communities/families to grieve in private. Even so, if the number is accurate, it’s way too high – especially for the families of those 47 children.

So, we were excited about joining in on the celebration of a two-year milestone…plus we just love Gabriel to pieces…as does his entire family. He is aptly named as he really is a little angel! You will tell by the pictures that his parents make sure he’s taken care of far before anyone else. He has gained weight (obviously!) due to the regular supply of milk he’s been receiving recently and the food that is now coming in to the house thanks to his father having steady employment. There were lots of reasons to celebrate that night.

Freddy told us the party would begin at 4:30 and silly us, we were there at 4:20 p.m. No one knew what to do with the punctual gringos while the party preparations continued. We assured Freddy we would be fine and took the little bit of time we had alone to admire all the work Freddy and his family had done to make this a very special occasion. Freddy built the “pergola” structure the day before so that the guests would be protected from the late afternoon sun or in the case of rain. They live a bit further up in to the hills than we do and they tend to get rain when we don’t. Notice the bare ground…it seems as though many Nicaraguans prefer yards of bare dirt to patchy or weedy grass. Just a few days before, when we had delivered their Christmas bag of food, that area was covered with grass and weeds all the way down to the road. Freddy made sure the yard had been picked clean of any vegetation…they were obviously making sure their best foot was put forward for this gathering.

We watched as one of Mary’s brothers and several of the kids hung the piñata and not long afterward, the guests slowly began arriving. Mary’s dad had walked to their church to borrow light bulbs so that they would have lighting outdoors. I watched him string the home made light cords from the pergola and figured they probably wouldn’t qualify for the UL approval stamp. I was wondering if they had overestimated the number of people who would come as the time was growing closer to 5:00. I was hoping they would have a good turnout as this seemed to be so important to Freddy. My fears were soon put to rest…the people came and came until there were somewhere around 50 or so in attendance. Our car was the only vehicle there and we were the only gringos. Everyone else came by foot and everyone else spoke Spanish. We had no translators…we didn’t need them. It was a party!

Freddy told me that with the exception of us, everyone else was family and my goodness, what a family they are! Everyone was hugging and kissing one another as though they hadn’t seen each other for years even though they all seem to live in the same community. Many were dressed in their nicest clothes and even if not everyone brought a gift, they all obviously brought a great deal of love and affection for this young family. It was a pleasure to watch such great affection being displayed in a family. I think there are many things we should learn from these people and familial love would certainly be one of them. I know of too many people who have strained or even broken relationships in their families, our own included, and I have to say that if this group of people had division among them, it sure wasn’t apparent that night.

We spent a good part of the evening shaking hands as we were introduced to everyone that came. Freddy seemed to be so proud that we were there and that we would take pictures, a fact he would share with anyone with whom he had the opportunity. At one point, Mary asked us how much “film” we had and how much we would charge for each picture. We told her we could take lots of pictures, realizing we would never be able to adequately explain the workings of a digital camera (thank goodness, since I don’t get it either!) and that the pictures would be a gift to them. She immediately lit up, thanked us and began dragging every brother, sister and cousin over for family photos. It was fun for both them and us.

Those are things I have always taken for granted but now, being so far away from our grandchildren, I realize now, more than ever, how important it is to have those pictures. So it was with great joy that Jim and I took photos all evening long of every event and of hopefully, every person. Mary and Freddy were elated…Gabriel could have cared less. There were games to play, piñatas to whack, packages to open and cake to eat. What more could a two year old little boy want?

After two piñatas had been broken and the children scrambled to get the candies, there was a fun game of Pin the Tale on the Donkey, with both events accompanied by shouted instructions, lots of laughter and screams and squeals. The energy was high and it was one of the most fun parties I’ve ever attended. No pouting, no squabbles and no cranky parents…just plain ol’ fun with just plain ol’ folks! Perfection!

Almost on cue, everyone took a seat. I don’t know if Freddy or Mary had asked them to or if this was a routine thing. Freddy came over to where we were sitting and asked us to come with him to the other side of the pergola where the cake table was set up. There was a round table with a white tablecloth on it and four regular chairs next to the cake table. We had assumed it was the table for the family. Wrong. It was a table for the “honored guests”…us. They had set four chairs out as they had assumed Tom and Nora would also be there.

We were not only surprised but very humbled that this family would treat us in such a fashion. The evening was about Gabriel and family…not about us. But no one acted offended at our being seated at the table. Instead, we received smiles and nods of affirmation from the entire family. It was such an outpouring of respect and all we could do was to smile in return. I don’t know even if I were fluent in the language whether I could have found the words to convey the emotion in my heart at that moment. What sweet, kind and giving people we were seated among…

Mary and some of the other women began serving the crowd small paper plates filled with a typical Nicaraguan dish that is used to feed a large group and a piece of plain bread laid on top of each plate. When it was our turn to receive the food, Mary came out with two of their large bowls filled with food for each of us! Instead of the small paper cups filled with Fanta Orange that everyone else received, we also got large real glasses. Obviously, they were giving us their best.

I don’t know the name of the food dish but I will describe it and as I do, I can just picture noses turning up and I have to tell you, it doesn’t necessarily look much better to a gringo than it sounds BUT, it really is quite good. It’s cooked rice (the Nicas make the best rice!) with ketchup, chopped up vegetables and cut up hot dogs…yep…hot dogs! They’re not big like the hot dogs in the States but rather, quite slender, maybe about the size of a finger…and very pink. But let me reiterate…the food was good! And it was hot which was a bonus as far as I was concerned as the night was starting to get quite chilly on that hill with the wind blowing and the temperatures dropping down in to the 70s. Made me wish I had brought a sweater!

Then it was time for the cutting of the cake. The children all gathered around, watching and waiting for the birthday boy to do his thing. Everyone sang a song together, I’m assuming their own type of “Happy Birthday to You” and then the candles were lit. The kids all chattering and the adults urging Gabriel to blow out the candles. The deed was accomplished (I think with some help from Mom) and a cheer went up as everyone hurried back to their seats.

Once again, we got the biggest and the best. Our slices of cake were huge and Mary asked how we liked the food. I told her it was all so delicious and thanked her again for having us. She beamed and told me how they made the main dish and asked me once more if I liked it. I assured her I did and that the cake was very tasty as well as very cute. She apparently was satisfied that we were satisfied and off she went to tend to her other guests. The cake had a small layer of chocolate that separated the two layers and the frosting was a whipped creamy frosting of some sort. The portions were so large and filling with the food and the rich cake that I couldn’t finish it all. Mary assured me that it was fine as she knew she gave us too much.

The people were starting to go home and it was starting to sprinkle so we decided we should head that way ourselves. It was too dark to take any more pictures (it’s really dark in the country at night!)and we hated leaving Tom and Nora to fend for themselves for too long. We thanked Mary and Freddy and said our good-byes but Freddy wouldn’t let us leave. He asked us to wait a minute and then brought one of his brothers-in-law over by us. Freddy told us it was too dangerous for us to drive to the main road by ourselves and that there were robbers who would be waiting for us. We told him we would lock the doors and it would be fine. He wouldn’t hear of it. He insisted that he and his brother-in-law would ride to the main road with us and walk back. I was worried they would be in danger but he assured me they would not as they live there and know everyone but that we most certainly would be in harm’s way. We had to believe he knew what he was talking about and so Freddy, his brother-in-law, little Gabriel and we all drove to the main road, said our thank-yous and our good-byes. We headed out on to the highway and they, waving good-bye, headed back down in to the darkness.

We marvel at how God works. Just as much as we worry and care for this sweet family (whom you see dressed in their very finest), we discover more and more that the feeling is reciprocated and we are the better for it. God’s hand of protection has covered us in so many ways and one of those consistently, is our gardener, Freddy. We are thankful to Him for him and we are thankful we were able to be part of such a wonderful celebration. Oh…and just as an FYI…we had the pictures of Gabriel’s party developed and put them in a photo album to give to Freddy when he comes to work tomorrow. We hope we’ll have that same privilege again next year!