Today in Tipitapa...

As I’m writing this, the temps have dropped to the pleasant stage, there is the slightest cool breeze, the sound of loud salsa music is blasting from the neighboring hillside and a brilliant full moon is shining in the bedroom window over my shoulder. It’s Saturday night in Nicaragua.
I need to be working on lessons for Los Cedros but thought I would get a blog written before I buried myself in frenzied lesson planning. Many of you already know but my hard drive in my computer was lost in a fiery crash last night. Okay…that’s not completely true…there was no fire except those few flames that came shooting from my eyes when the computer absolutely quit and refused to do anything. Jim spent almost an hour on the phone with Dell tech support to end up being told that the hard drive was dead. Not the news we wanted to hear.
The guy did tell us that when we return to the States in March, we can call them and Dell will send us a new hard drive and we will have 3 weeks to send them our old one and there will be no charge as the computer is less than a year old and still under warranty. He didn’t seem to be terribly surprised that the hard drive crashed but said that usually they make it longer than a year. ???? Well, shouldn’t they???
The sticking point in this is that I have lost all my “stuff” – lessons, blog copies, newsletters, etc. We had our external hard drive stolen at the same time we had our laptops stolen and had not replaced it. I don’t even know the words to use to describe how I feel about that! But there’s no point in getting upset about that part now…I’m using enough energy to fret about all my info stuck in my hard drive. There are companies who are in the computer information retrieval business but it is an abhorrently costly process.
We have put out feelers to see if anyone here is able to do that but so far, the answers from the missionaries haven’t been very promising. The local people we’ve talked to seem to think it’s just a regular part that is “broken” and can be repaired by a regular computer repairman. That’s not the case. Our friend here who is the computer guru at one of the nation’s leading banks and travels throughout Central America fixing the unfixable didn’t have good news for us regarding this. He said they recently had the same thing happen to one of their computers at the bank and ended up having to send it to the U.S. for the info retrieval. Which brings us back to the abhorrently costly process.
So, I’m assuming God is using this as another teaching lesson for me in patience and flexibility. It’s a good one.
Re: yesterday’s visit to the children’s home…it was a great visit! Fortress of Hope is a government licensed orphanage/children’s home operated by a group of American Christians for children who have been removed by the Nicaraguan government from their own homes due to abuse, neglect, endangerment issues, loss of parents, etc. It is located about 3 km from our house, tucked back in to a quiet neighborhood.
I’ll try to be brief in the description of the place. It was a former motel with individual little cottages or casitas. There are currently 15 children living there ages 2-15 – 13 girls and 2 boys. The children are divided into age groups with the largest having six girls, ages 11-15, sharing a casita. Each casita has up to 5 bunk beds in it, its own bathroom and a small space for the placement of the children’s few belongings. There is a house mother for each casita who not only sleeps there with the children, but also takes care of them.
The facility is very well maintained considering the age of the buildings and how they’re used. We noticed a few things that needed attention but overall, it was encouraging to see such a place being run like it is.
We met many of the children…of course, they’re precious and beautiful children…but most have suffered much in their young lives and are walking around with broken spirits due to their home situations. My heart ached at hearing about some of their stories. Even so, there were a few who were very outgoing and one little guy who had only been there a couple of weeks, immediately came up to Jim. His mother had dropped him off saying she no longer wanted to care for him…can you imagine? Most of the girls smiled shyly and were friendly enough but obviously, they all must struggle with trust issues. That’s in direct opposition to how a child should be…heartbreaking.
There is definitely not a lack of adult supervision and guidance there. Besides the house mothers, they have a full time doctor on staff, a clinical psychologist, an accountant, a cook, a laundress who also does janitorial work, two security guards on duty at all times and they just recently lost their social worker who moved to Costa Rica...she also acted as the liason between the facility and the government. They are in the process of trying to replace her with someone who is not only qualifies academically but also is a Christian. There are currently only two firm believers. I don’t think that the others are necessarily opposed to Jesus, they just have never been discipled on a regular basis.
Karen and her husband, Dwayne, were instrumental in starting Fortress of Hope and it is an outreach of a Mennonite Church in Ohio although Karen and Dwayne, having grown up as Mennonites are now Nazarenes. They lived in Costa Rica for several years and then were moved to Nicaragua. They have lived here for the last three years but have recently moved back to the States so their youngest son could graduate there. They are looking for someone here to help relieve them from some of the burdens of trying to run the children’s home from Ohio.
We spent several hours with Karen asking and answering a myriad of questions…Dwayne was unable to come due to business conflicts at home. We thoroughly enjoyed our time getting to know her…she’s a delightful person and I came away with the feeling I had made a new friend. She even took us to a nearby guesthouse they often use to house teams and gave us a quick tour of it.
We left Fortress of Hope better understanding the significance of its name. Before we said our good-byes, we prayed together, asking God to make His will clear to each one of us regarding what role, if any, we were to play in this ministry, to open the doors that need to be opened and to close the ones that need to be closed. Jim and I so firmly believe that we want to be where God wants us to be and we don’t want to just step into a role because there’s a void. If that were the case, we would be bundled up to our chinny chin chins right now in Budapest instead of living in what often appears to be a virtual perpetual hot flash! Our remaining years are too short for us to settle for what may be good instead of holding out for what is God’s best.
So…fast forwarding to this afternoon while we were at Tipitapa…Karen called and asked us if we could meet with her and a few of the staff Monday night for dinner. We’re continuing to pray for God’s clear guidance in this as it would mean there would have to be some schedule changes with Los Cedros.
And speaking of Los Cedros…we inadvertently found out last night we missed the open house there this week…we didn’t even know there was one being held. I’m disappointed but sadly, not terribly surprised. I don’t believe that we were intentionally left out from it but I have to acknowledge that is not out of the norm for that to occur. I’m not sure what God is doing with us there and I don’t want to read something in to nothing but there have been several things that have occurred that have made me scratch my head and wonder if we “stepped into a role…” regarding Los Cedros. We’ll see…
Tipitapa…it was a good news, bad news kind of day. With the crashing of my computer, I didn’t have my lesson to present for my English class, but we worked on conversation and it went pretty well overall. There are a few students who struggle with their pronunciation and comprehension but for the most part, the class is doing well. We were down in our numbers today with only 9 students in attendance but it made it easier to do what we did.
Jim presented an excellent Bible study class on gods, idols and God. It created a good discussion among the guys in the class…which is unusual as it is typically the gals who do most of the talking in Bible study. It was encouraging to see them talk through some of the questions and come up with their own conclusions. That’s a big step.
We took some vacuum packed veggie bags (they are for soup) for Miguel and Elizabeth and for his mother. We also took a good sized amount of fruit, veggies, oatmeal, cereal, Sustagen and milk for Kenneth and Lindsay. I was anxious to talk with Danelia after class to find out how Kenneth did this week finishing up his chemo. He had another set of x-rays done on Wednesday.
The good news is the large tumor in his hip is shrinking!!! The bad news is Danelia said there are three new tumors on his “thorax”. I don’t know if that means on the sternum or where exactly…she just pointed in the general area of the chest. I felt sick in the pit of my stomach when she told me that. We just looked at one another for a minute. In just a split second, my spirit begged God to keep my eyes tear free and my voice steady.
I asked Danelia to tell me how she knew that. She said Kenneth had been having trouble breathing sometimes at night and when she mentioned that to the doctor, she (this one was a female doctor) said that it was probably allergies (it’s very windy here right now and there’s a lot of dirt blowing) but she wanted to take some chest x-rays to make sure. Needless to say, we all would have preferred it to be allergies.
The doctor told her they have done what they can…Danelia’s heard this before…but it hasn’t gotten any easier even hearing it said repeatedly. She is worried…she understands very well what metastasized cancer means.
Earlier, Kenneth had told me he wasn’t feeling the best. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me his head was hurting. I asked if he had taken any medicine for it and he told me he had. I thought about that and asked Danelia if the doctor had done a scan on his head. She quietly shook her head no and neither one of us said anything more for a full minute.
Danelia then began telling me all that she was feeling…the difficulty in trying to keep the wildly swinging pendulum of emotions in check. After letting her talk for about thirty minutes, she began to wind down. We then began to talk about God’s sovereignty and the truth that He has a plan for Kenneth’s life. We talked about the impact the test results were having on her emotions. I reminded her that the doctors’ knowledge is limited by their humanness and the x-rays only show a snapshot of what we see as real but that God created Kenneth and only God knows when He is going to bring him to his final home...and that reality is the same for her and for me…only God knows.
I told her that this whole situation is bigger than Kenneth and that God is using him to touch so many people. I reminded her of all the people in the States who are praying for Kenneth, of the lives he has touched in the hospital and of the women Danelia has been able to minister to who are watching their own children suffer with various forms of cancer. She is such a herald of faith and she just needed to be reminded that God hasn’t forgotten them at this bend in the road.
At that, Danelia’s face brightened a little. We continued to talk and before long, we were talking about the kids starting school. It is going to be Lindsay’s first year in school and the doctor had said that if Kenneth wanted to go and felt like it, that he could go until the cancer had progressed to the point he no longer had the strength to go. Danelia told me Kenneth was so excited about going but she wasn’t sure if she should let him or not. We then discussed the pros and cons and we both agreed that he would be much happier living as normal of a life as possible for as long as he could. He has spent so much time incapacitated by his cancer. He is not ignorant of what is happening to him and I think he is teaching each of us to make the most of the time we have been given.
It was very timely that we would hear Kenneth’s laughter as he played with the kids outside. We both turned to look out the door to see him playing tag. Danelia started to say something and then just leaned back against her seat watching him. Her face remained expressionless but her eyes grew soft as she watched her much loved son running and playing like any other little boy and obviously, enjoying every minute of it.
School uniforms and supplies have gone up in price here. We just recently helped Margarita and Felix with their children’s school needs so I was well aware of the financial strain of now having to pay for both the kids to go to school. I gave Danelia enough money to buy their uniforms and supplies. I have sometimes wondered if we will get to the place where I give the money and she takes it and there is nothing more than that. That’s not happened and I would venture to say it won’t. People may be able to force tears but I’ve never yet met someone who can make their cheeks redden. Danelia always is embarrassed by our gifts and I really believe it is very hard for her to take them. She told me today that she doesn’t know when but that someday, she and Arturo hope to be able to pay us back for all we have given to them. I hushed her and told her it was not ours to give but it was God’s. She smiled a tearful smile and hugged me and told me again, that they appreciate all we do but they consider it a loan.
When we left, I told Jim what Danelia had said. He said he, too, hoped that someday they had enough money to pay us back. And then he clarified that statement. He hopes that their financial position improves to the point that they would have that much extra that they could afford to pay back the money…not that we want them to do that…only that we want them to prosper to that point.
I thought about Danelia, Arturo and the kids all the way home. We truly love this family. They make much of the little that we give them and yet they have given us so much in return. As always, I’m asking that you continue to pray for Kenneth and this latest setback in his health. I think we are so privileged to be the ones to link you and Kenneth together through your prayers to our Father. Thank you for loving him. Thank you for loving us.

Winds are blowin...

I originally had this as one long post with the one below but decided to break it up into two. Somehow, I think that makes me appear less windy! :0) And speaking of windy...it's another windy day…but that’s okay. The temps here are starting to climb so the wind makes it much more pleasant. Even so, we live in muggy Managua and it’s only going to get worse in the next few months. I’m glad we’re going to be home in March…or at least I think I am. As long as the snowy, icy weather that they’re experiencing now is a distant memory by then. I think our blood has thinned the last few years.
We’re getting ready for the new school year at Los Cedros. School begins next Tuesday. I’m excited about seeing the kids again and yet already feeling apprehensive about the class that is now going to be in sixth grade. They were such a challenge last year…I’m not exactly sure how this year is going to go. I’ve been praying God will give me guidance with all the kids but especially with this particular class.
We also go to Tipitapa tomorrow. I’m excited to see Kenneth and how he’s faring with this last round of chemo. It’s been two weeks since we were there last and a lot can happen with him in that time. We’ll take another can of Sustagen and large bag of powdered milk plus fruits and veggies for him. The doctors have said that bettering his nutrition has been a great benefit to his health in many respects. He is less susceptible to what could potentially be life-threatening secondary infections now (like pneumonia). He is also much more alert and his stamina has increased. At times, he is very much a little boy…other times, he’s like a little old man in a shrunken body. But regardless of how he’s feeling, he continues to have the sweetest smile and the most positive attitude.
We also are going to have to make a decision tomorrow regarding one of our English & Bible study students. He’s only come several times before and sadly, I can’t remember his name. Two weeks ago, he approached me after class (Leonard, Nancy & Debbie were with us that day) and asked if Jim and I would consider helping him with his education. He wants to take a Saturday class which will help him progress much more rapidly with his English and it’s a course he says he needs for his degree. I don’t know that it is necessarily true but we’ll find out more tomorrow. If I remember right, I think he said he wants to become a doctor.
The course isn’t terribly expensive but it’s more than he can afford – about $25 a month. My first reaction is to say yes to his request. But there’s something in my spirit that is saying to be wise in how we go about this. We don’t know him other than just seeing him in class a few times and it’s pretty presumptuous for him to come and ask such a thing...even in a culture such as this. Begging at the street corners is one thing but asking to pay for an education is another.
We have done this before and have not seen the outcome for which we were hoping. One was a school loan which was never paid back and the young man disappeared and the other is a school loan which the young man is behind in his payments. He has completed the course but is without work and doesn’t seem to be too interested in finding it. So disappointing. I think sometimes, a “free” education has only has much value as it has cost the one receiving it.
Jim and I’ve talked about paying ½ and requiring the young man to pay ½. But, if he truly can’t afford it and really does want to better his life’s circumstances, we don’t want to put up barriers that can’t be overcome. I’m asking God to give us wisdom in this situation and hopefully, we’ll have a clear idea of what needs to be done by the time Jim has finished his conversation with him tomorrow. There are just some questions we need to have answered first.
A bright spot re: one of our other students named Juan. He is an excellent student and is very self-motivated to learn. He’s young…I think around 15 years of age but has done so well in our English class that we have friends here who are going to scholarship him at Cornerstone, one of the leading language schools that teaches English here in Managua. I see a bright future for this young man and hope that we can continue to keep tabs on him. He has such a great smile and he always brightens my Saturday class when I see him walk through the door.
We are going to check out a possible new ministry opportunity this afternoon. We had read about this small orphanage about a month ago. We are on an e-mail news chain for ex-pats, missionaries, etc. here in Managua and I read about it on that. They are looking for some additional in-country help and when we first read about this, it crossed my mind to check in to it but I didn’t say anything to Jim other than just to mention I had read about it. He had read it also and that was all that was said.
One afternoon, while we were in Miami, we were taking a walk. Out of what appeared to be the clear blue sky, Jim mentioned the orphanage and said he thought we ought to check in to it. But, knowing Jim as I do, this comment didn’t come out of the clear blue sky at all. He had been thinking on it for some time. When Jim speaks on something like this, believe me, I listen. He doesn’t make rash decisions.
God has created us so differently…Jim is one who takes a situation and studies it, carefully looking at it from every angle and playing out every scenario he can possibly imagine. He treats it like a puzzle, patiently trying each piece, seeing how it fits before deciding which one he’ll go with. This is not a speedy process…which you can well imagine to how I respond. But once he’s made up his mind, it’s made up. The word “patient” is a perfect term to describe my husband…believe me, there are many times I should be very thankful that he is so patient. I think God must have been in a very serious and thoughtful mood when He created Jim.
Who knows what He was up to when I was conceived?! I know God does nothing in a capricious manner but there are times I have to wonder what He was thinking when creating me popped in to His mind. To me, exhibiting patience, isn’t thoughtfully examining every possibility to a problem…it is not choking my beloved husband while he’s thoughtfully examining every possibility to a problem! I see and I react. Sometimes that works out great…sometimes, not so great.
There is much to be said both for and against each of our manners of decision making. Jim tempers me and I stir him. He operates from a “head” position whereas I tend to operate from a “heart” position. They each have their place and we work best when we can combine those strengths. As different as we both are, both our personalities share something in common that is critical. We both have to be listening to the Holy Spirit and following His guiding or neither one of us will come to a good decision.
So, when Jim mentioned checking in to the work at the orphanage, my first reaction was one of surprise. This was just not something I would have imagined he would be interested in but God has been doing a lot of work in both of us the last few years so what may initially appear as a deviation from our “norms” is often nothing more than God stretching us and asking us to take yet another step out in faith. I don’t know if that’s what this afternoon is going to be about or not. I’m not sure yet what our role is to be in any of this or if we’re to have a role at all. At the very least, we’ll have the opportunity to see how God is working in another venue here and that’s never a waste of time, in my opinion. We'll see what change God might be blowing in with these winds...I’ll let you know what we find out.

Ram's in the thicket...

We’ve recently had a change in our night guard situation. Each evening, Jim would spend time talking with our night guard, Fernando, working on building a relationship with him. For whatever reason, I was more hesitant about getting to know him on a more personal level, but was always willing to help him with medical treatment and medicines for his 18 month old daughter. Fernando always came to work and was usually pretty punctual. He was polite and was agreeable to change in his work habits whatever it was Jim needed him to change. He came with good references. But on the evening of the 13th of this month, we had a problem.
I had been feeling a bit guilty that we weren’t doing as much to help Fernando and his family as we had been doing with our other employees. So, that day, I bought a big bag of powdered milk for him. As is typical of those who receive those bags, he was surprised and very grateful. He had said that the doctor had told his wife that she needed to start weaning Hilary and giving her milk but they couldn’t afford it. Whether all that was true or not, I don’t know but I do know that bagged milk like that runs about $18 a bag which is astronomical for most of the folks we work with.
I stayed outside and really talked with Fernando about his life for the first time. Of course, his story was a sad one, as so many are. When I came back in to the house, I was going to finish going through the pantry. Before going out to give Fernando the milk, I was in the process of reorganize the pantry as we had Leonard, Nancy & Debbie coming for a visit. I know…that’s a crazy thing to decide to clean but I like to keep it organized and it wasn’t in the shape I typically keep it…can you say “obsessive”?
In the process of reorganizing one of my shelves, I found a few things that I knew we wouldn’t eat...a package of spicy peanuts we had bought by mistake some time back, a single serving of cereal that came as a promo item, some single ketchup packages which I knew we wouldn’t use…the ketchup here is very sweet, just some little things like that. Instead of throwing them away or storing them for us not to use later, I bagged them up for Fernando and also dished up some beef soup for him…I’m always a soft touch for a sad story, believe me.
Jim took the things outside and was gone for some time. Of course, it was dark outside as it was about 8:30 by that time. I assumed Jim was just visiting with Fernando and didn’t think anything of it. About 20 minutes later, he came inside and told me he couldn’t find our guard. I asked him what he meant and he said that he couldn’t find him…that he had disappeared. I asked if he checked in the corner of the yard and behind the platano trees…he had. I asked if he checked the guard room and the bathroom down there…he had. I asked if he had called his name…he had. We were both puzzled as to what could have happened to Fernando.
We both went out on our back deck, with Jim going toward the side that faces our yard and I went to the side that faces our driveway. We both called his name…guess whose voice was the loudest? I happened to be looking over the railing up towards our gate when I suddenly saw Fernando jump down from the next door neighbor’s guard shack and over our concrete wall in to our driveway. He had been over in our Donald’s (our neighbor’s) backyard! He did not see me and he hurried over to our upper front yard. I told Jim what I had seen.
He was furious! That’s not an easy point to bring Jim to. (I know I ended that sentence with a preposition…but grammatically incorrect or not, it’s true!) He went back out front and asked Fernando where he had been. He told him he was over by our water tower (other side of the yard from where he had jumped the wall). Jim told him that wasn’t true and asked him again. Again, Fernando lied and Jim asked him a third time. Another lie. Finally, Jim told him that we had seen him jump down from the fence. At that point, Fernando knew he couldn’t keep lying and he ‘fessed up to the fact he was next door.
Jim asked him what he was doing over there and Fernando said he went over to talk to the neighbor’s guard. That story didn’t fly as it was Donald’s guard’s night off. Jim reminded him of that fact and then Fernando said that he climbed the fence because he just liked to know what was in their yard. Jim again said he didn’t believe that. Remember I told you how patient Jim is? I would have had Fernando down on the ground by this point trying to choke the truth out of him! He has no idea how God spared him that night!
Jim told Fernando that he had no business next door, that he had no right to climb the wall and that he was being paid to be on our property, not our neighbor’s. Fernando agreed and asked Jim if he was mad at him. Jim told him he was angry. Fernando apologized and said it was the first time he had done that and that he wouldn’t do it again.
When Jim came inside he told me of their conversation. We were both just flabbergasted that he would do such a thing. Donald was home and we wondered if Fernando was looking in his windows or what… what if he had been responsible for some earlier thefts that had occurred next door? And if not, if there were to ever be items missing in the future, whether Fernando was responsible or not, we would have a nagging doubt in our mind. The more we talked about it, the sadder we became as we both knew that we were going to have to let him go. We could no longer trust him. He had trespassed, he had violated our trust, he had left his job post and he had lied repeatedly about all of it. We were sick at heart about all of it. We also realized that our concrete wall with concertina wire was not impenetrable. I felt a profound sense of vulnerability at that realization following so quickly on the footsteps of the fact that our security guard was not trustworthy. We both slept fitfully that night, each of us imagining our own “what-ifs”.
The next morning, Jim got up early so that he could catch Donald before he left for work. He told him about the incident and asked if he had noticed anything missing. Donald was understandably upset about the situation and said that things appeared normal as best as he could tell but would check better upon his return home that evening. He also told Jim he appreciated the news although he wasn’t happy about it.
Jim had made up his mind. He was going to terminate Fernando upon his arrival at work that night. He asked Felix what we needed to do to stay within the boundaries of the labor laws here. Felix told him we needed to have a letter written for the Ministry of Labor and he offered to draft the letter for Jim. He also told him how to figure up his severance pay. He also told Jim he wanted to stay to make sure that Fernando understood everything and to ensure there wouldn’t be any trouble. We went to the “bank” and got the money we would need for Fernando and then headed to the airport to pick up Nancy, Leonard and Debbie. We were so excited to have them with us but felt sick at what was going to have to happen later that night.
That evening, when Fernando arrived, he saw Felix and knew that he was in trouble. He talked with Felix and expressed he was angry that he was going to lose his job, claiming he didn’t really do anything wrong. Felix told him that maybe God was using this to get his attention and giving him an opportunity to change his ways. Fernando listened but Felix said he didn’t indicate he was repentant.
Jim went out and told Fernando that we were sorry but that we were going to have to terminate him immediately. He told him he had talked with Donald and that none of us felt like we could have complete trust in him now. He said he understood and showed little emotion. Jim gave him his letter to sign, his severance pay and had him sign our Employee Pay Book. Jim told him we were sorry things had turned out like this and Fernando agreed. As he was leaving, he told Jim to thank me for all I had done to help with his family and his daughter. When Jim told me, I thought I was going to cry. Not for Fernando, not even for his wife, but rather for Hilary. I wondered who was going to help her now with meds and milk. It was a sad evening.
When this first happened the night before, we wondered what we were going to do for a guard if we terminated Fernando. But just as He always has done, God had a ram waiting in the thicket. While we were praying for an answer, God had already answered it before the need was there. Donald’s night guard had quit his job there due to low pay and what we thought was his night off, was actually a night without work. He was at Donald’s the next morning, all dressed up ready to go job hunting. He had evidently come to talk to him about references.
Jim and Felix talked to Eddy and he was happy to step right in to working for us. He had been so good to help keep an eye on our house before he even worked for us so it somehow just seemed natural for him to slide right in to that role for us. He lives in the same barrio as Freddy and Felix and not only worked for Donald as his night guard but also, as the weekend gardener for our other neighbors. We feel like he’s as trustworthy as anyone else at this point. Although he doesn’t have all the written references that Fernando had, I don’t know that matters much. Fernando wasn’t trustworthy with glowing references. We’ll see how Eddy does.
Xander likes him and he likes Xander. Felix trusts him and we trust Felix. He’s a simple man. He’s not a Christian. He is single, 32 years old and can’t read or write. He can only sign his first name. I’m already excited about what God’s going to do with this relationship…it’s just going to take some time to build it but Jim is patient and I am learning.

We're home...

Back home in Managua after a few quiet days State-side. The weather in Miami was perfect while we were there. When we landed here three hours ago, it was hot, steamy & sticky and the hotel's arctic-temp air conditioning is now a distant memory.

It was a good time away and it was good to get back here. Although I think I am going to miss that really comfy bed with the down comforter and pillows! I think if we tried to have those here it would be like sleeping with our heads resting on a soggy duck! Being able to take really long, really hot showers wasn't too bad either. And, I have to admit I didn't miss the all-night rooster-fest which has already begun here. Thoroughly enjoyed watching the History Channel and even the Weather Channel on what to us seemed to be a giant screen TV. We took full advantage of the great weather and got in several leisurely walks every day next to a lagoon which is a protected home for manatees. Long walks and long talks go hand in hand. Our time there seemed to fly by.

But once we started the process at the Miami airport this afternoon for our trip back, time slowed down considerably. It was almost 7:00 p.m. when we finally took off. The flight was occasionally a bit bumpy but nothing out of the ordinary. A few hours later, I looked down and I could begin to see the lights of Managua twinkling in the distance. Within minutes, we were overhead and it was beautiful! Funny how a few days away, an altitude of several thousand feet and the dark of night can erase the memories of dirty streets, noisy traffic and a heartful of burdens.

Susanna and her mother, Desiree, met us at the airport and graciously chauffeured us home. Xander was beside himself and just now has settled down. I wish he could demonstrate his excitement in other ways besides his mouth! He's only 5 months old but those teeth of his are getting to be pretty good-sized! And his 40+ pound frame can pack a wallop when he wants to jump up in your arms!

We're tired tonight...seems like that's how we were when we left last Thursday. Hopefully, we'll have plenty of water in the morning and I can get our laundry all done. Then we'll have to get some bread and a few other groceries. I need to get us organized for returning to school next week! Yikes!!! Where did these last few months go???

Later this week, we are also to have a meeting with some folks about possibly another ministry opportunity. I'm not at liberty yet to talk about this but would really appreciate prayers for wisdom and that God would make it perfectly clear to these people and us if this is something we should pursue or not. I'm content at the school but our being here is not about me being content. We both want to be in God's will and neither of us want to let being "comfortable" or "content" stand in the way of joining God where He's at work and where He's calling us to join Him. Thank you in advance for those prayers.

Well, it's way past bedtime. Just wanted to let you know we're home...

Flying in and out...

What a busy week we’ve had! Our friends, Leonard and Nancy Hopkins from Cassville, MO and Leonard’s sister, Debbie Williams from Stonewall, TX were with us from the 15th through the 19th. We had a ball! It felt so good to laugh that hard again! They were all such good sports putting up with Xander and his 5 month old puppy antics…which are cute when it’s a 10 lb. puppy but when a 40 lb. pup starts acting up…it quickly loses its charm!
We’ve known Leonard & Nancy for some years now and it was a pleasure getting to know Debbie. She has a grueling work schedule so hopefully, she was able to get some rest while here. Although I’m not sure how as we were on the go quite a bit.
We were able to share some of what our days are like here and also some of our favorite places to eat. We shopped and talked and shopped some more! It was a fun few days that seemed to just fly by. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry but Nancy’s sweet hug weakened the dam and sure enough, the tears came. It hasn’t gotten any easier seeing the backs of friends walking away into the secure area at the airport.
Jim and I are leaving early in the morning to go to the airport again…this time to board a plane ourselves! We’re going to Miami for a few days of rest and we both are looking forward to just being away for a bit, trusting God will bring us back refreshed and ready for the days ahead.
I’m not sure if I’ll be able to post a blog while we’re gone but if not, I’ll write when we get back. Now it’s off to bed…we have to get back up in 4 hours! I’m praying God packs a lot of rest in those scant 240 minutes!

A few prayer needs...

A few prayer needs…

• Please pray for the people of Haiti in the aftermath of the 7.0 earthquake that has caused so much death and destruction for that already poor and battered nation…our hearts ache for those who have lost their loved ones...
• We have friends here who are suffering their own loss…Miss Ruby is now seeing the face of the One she so often sang about and encouraged others to come to know. She went to be with Jesus last night a little before 8:00 p.m. I ask that you pray for the friends and family she has left behind who will miss her mighty presence. There is no doubt that even though they are rejoicing that she is now completely healed and free of all pain, her Home-going will leave a void in the hearts of those who knew and loved her. There are a few of you who were with us on our mission trips here to Managua who remember Miss Ruby and others of you may remember reading about her. A trip to see Miss Ruby, locally known as a prophetess, was always a memorable visit.
• Kenneth is beginning another round of chemo today. I’m not sure of my feelings on this…it doesn’t really matter how I feel about it. What I am asking for is prayer for healing for Kenneth. If he has to undergo this horrible treatment, that he will better tolerate this round of chemo than the last, that God would minimize the nausea and vomiting that he experiences and that God would spare him any damage to the heart. I love this little boy so much and it is difficult to watch him go through this. But it’s not just because I love him so much that I’m going to say this but because it’s true…he’s one of the bravest people I know. He never complains, not even when he’s so sick. He is one who does not want others around him to suffer because he’s suffering. He doesn’t have to draw attention to himself nor does he feel that he’s special because of his cancer. Yet that’s much of what makes him so special…the way he handles all that life is throwing at him. I know adults who could learn a lot from him. Please continue to pray for him, if you would.
• Our day guard’s name is Felix and his wife’s name is Blanca. Blanca’s grandmother, Virginia Flores, age 52, is diabetic and recently had to have her foot amputated. She got an infection while in the hospital at the site of amputation and they then amputated her leg just above the knee. While still in the hospital, she contracted yet another infection and has now had her entire leg amputated. We were able to help with some personal items for Virginia…things we just take for granted, like soap, washcloth, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush, etc. These are all things the family has to supply and these kinds of things can be very costly…a tube of toothpaste is $1.00 at the market…cheap for us, but an extra for them. I made up a “girly” bag for Virginia with these personal care items and a Spanish 31 Day Devotional – one of several that Linda Lowe left with us when she was here. (Thanks so much, Linda!) The hospital will also only give the most basic of a meal…beans, rice & possibly, a very small amount of chicken. The family is responsible for the rest as well as the medicines that she needs while in the hospital. They didn’t have any insulin. This was an area where we were able to financially help along with some other costs. Virginia needs your prayers for protection from further infection and healing of the amputation site as well as being able to control her diabetes. Diabetes is such a serious problem here...
• As if that weren’t enough for Felix to worry about, a few days ago, his mother, Lorena Gonzalez, age 53, experienced several days of headache, dizziness and fever. Then she woke up with one side of her face paralyzed. It didn’t seem to affect her body as a stroke would but although the doctors haven’t given a diagnosis, it sounds more like Bell’s Palsy. This has been terrifying to the entire family as her father died two years ago, after apparently suffering something similar – although I think he probably died of a stroke. Regardless, this has definitely affected their lives. Felix and Freddy (our gardener) are brothers-in-law and Freddy’s wife, Mary, is Felix’s sister. Freddy, Mary and three of Mary’s brothers live with Lorena and her husband whereas Felix and his family live in the same barrio but in a separate residence. The family has really pulled together to help with this. When this happened, they took Lorena to a clinic in El Crucero where they normally go for medical treatment. The clinic referred her on to a hospital on the north side of Managua. This family lives 5 km south of us and we’re on the southwest side of Managua. The hospital is not at all convenient but it is a hospital for the poor and happens to be the same hospital where Blanca’s grandmother, Virginia, is now. They basically said the only thing they can do for her is to give her daily therapeutic treatments for the next 15 days and then sent her home. So, every day, she has to go in a taxi (the bus is too crowded and she has other medical issues which make riding the bus difficult) which costs $7.00 round trip to get her therapy. She receives a daily injection, which the family has to buy and costs about $3.00 from the market pharmacy…about twice that from the regular pharmacies where we shop. She can’t open her jaw wide enough to eat regular food and for now, is only able to eat soup or very soft, mushed up food. She has to wear gauze over her eye in the house and sunglasses when outside. The family is overwhelmed with this right now. Again, we’ve been able to help the family with many of their needs. Lorena is another who needs your prayers right now as well as Felix, Mary, Freddy and the rest of the families of both of these women. I just want to thank you…it is because of you who help support our work here that we are able to help these families at this time. Please don’t underestimate the good that your giving is doing…you are touching so many lives and we are only the ones who are delivering your help. Believe me when I tell you that your help is so appreciated by each one.
  "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40
• And along those lines…many of you have asked how Jim and I are doing health-wise. Jim’s ear problem seems to be gone for now. He has finished all his medication, drops and weird treatments prescribed by the doctor…hopefully, they have done their job and we won’t have to resort to killing a chicken and wrapping it around his neck or some such thing! Just joking… The place on my face has been a little bit more stubborn to responding to treatment…and who is surprised at that??? I finished using the ridiculously expensive “caustic cream” and returned to the dermatologist last Friday for a check-up. He decided he needed to do several more blasts of the liquid nitrogen. He “burned” a larger area and did it a little longer than last time so that the depth of the cell destruction would be deeper in hopes of getting rid of all the questionable cells this time. The blistering occurred immediately and the first day was a yukky face day, with lots of oozing and weeping from the area. So nasty and very painful the first few days. He prescribed an astringent powder that I mixed with water and applied as a poultice twice a day. The area that was treated is now at the ever-so-attractive nasty scab stage but definitely feels much better than it did a few days ago. I don’t go back until the end of February for my next check-up so we’re hoping this time will be the last treatment necessary…so we won’t have to resort to killing a chicken and…you know.
• Also to let you know what’s on our plate the next few weeks… Leonard and Nancy Hopkins, from Cassville and Leonard’s sister, Debbie, from Texas, are coming to spend the 15th through the 19th with us. Leonard has been here before on a mission trip but this will be the first visit for Nancy and Debbie. We are excited to have them with us and are looking forward to their arrival. I know the time will fly by when they’re here…it always does when we have friends or family from home. Two days after they leave, Jim and I are going to be taking a few days away, combining our mandatory 3 day exit time from the country with a mini R&R to Miami! While planning our time away, initially to Costa Rica, God opened the door for us to be able to go State-side for a few days. Although we would have loved to go home for that time, it was not financially feasible. Still, we are very excited to just have those few days away in the States. We are both tired – physically and emotionally and we would appreciate your prayers for a restful time and that we return rejuvenated and ready for whatever it is that we feel God is calling us to do next.

Well, that’s it for now. Thank you for your prayers…for us and for those we bring before you. One of my frequent prayers is that God blesses those who intercede on our behalf and I trust that prayer is always answered for you cannot humbly and prayerfully enter in to the presence of our Lord without being blessed. He still makes my heart swell…

Christmas 2009 Part 2

Continuing with Christmas Eve day…on the way to Tipitapa, we stopped by a few places to drop off cookies and fruit. All were received with such surprise and were reciprocated with hearty handshakes and hugs. I love getting those kinds of gifts!

We went to Danelia and Arturo’s house first. They were very surprised to see us as I had not mentioned anything to Danelia the previous weekend about us coming. She knew that Sadie and Marc were coming so I’m sure she assumed she wouldn’t see us until class the following Saturday. When I told Danelia and Arturo that we had some things for them for Christmas, their reactions were the same as they always have been – not only genuine words of thanks but also looks of profound gratefulness.
They are truly one of my favorite families not because they verbalize their gratitude but because they feel it in the first place. So many here have come to expect things from Americans and if they were to believe much of what they hear in the news, they also would have the attitude they deserve those gifts plus much more. Sometimes, that makes it more difficult to give, although it shouldn’t be that way. Maybe I would be better served to say it’s a lot more fun to give to folks like Danelia and Arturo.

It was like a joyous little parade unloading the things from the back of the car for them. We basically had an assembly line and as each item passed from one of our hands to one of theirs, I noticed that all of us had huge smiles…ours were for the joy in giving and theirs for the joy in receiving. That’s how gift-giving should be – filled with joy from beginning to end!

First, we had the big bag of food which Jim handed to Marc who handed it off to Arturo who deftly handled it in spite of its weight… Danelia’s eyes just melted when she saw it. Next were the big bag of powdered milk & the can of Sustagen. Then came the bag of apples which the kids were really excited to see and then, finally, came the gifts in bright colored wrapping paper. That’s when the excitement rose to a new level.

Sadie immediately fell in love with Lindsay whose dimpled smile and sparkling eyes charm all of us. It didn’t take too much time before Lindsay warmed up to Sadie. Kenneth was his usual reserved self when he’s with folks he doesn’t know that well. They both kept staring at Marc who is 6’ 3” and kept their distance initially…he was quite an imposing figure for all of them. But soon, the kids realized that he was a gentle giant and they had nothing to fear.

After getting everything and everyone inside, we began all the necessary introductions. I was surprised Arturo was home but he told us that the Chinese owners of his factory had given them the day off for Christmas. He brought every chair they had to seat everyone…we were still one short but it didn’t matter. Someone was always up taking pictures or looking at something that one of the kids wanted to show them. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Arturo leaving. I was hoping that we hadn’t come at a bad time or had barged in when they might have had other plans. He was back in just a few moments. He had gone to the pulperia on the next street to buy a bottle of Coke.

Danelia quickly brought out glasses for each of us. I thanked her for her hospitality and told her it wasn’t necessary…I knew that was something they wouldn’t normally buy with the precious little money they have. All money these days goes to caring for Kenneth and trying to make ends meet…the ends rarely do. Danelia only smiled and then in a low voice said that it was her pleasure to do that for us. I knew that it truly was. Another unexpected gift from folks who don’t have it to give…those are truly sweet treasures.
I think I’ve told you before that people here do not normally open their gifts in front of the one who has done the giving. It is considered rude to do so. But Danelia and her family have learned from past experience that this gringa is the most impatient person of all when it comes to gifts being opened! I get such tremendous joy from watching kids open their gifts, whether it is our own grandkids doing it or kids we’ve “adopted” to help fill that role here.
We used the excuse that Sadie and Marc wanted pictures of the kids opening their gifts. Danelia, nodded her assent and then, looking at me, she laughed and said that it was fine if they wanted to do so. She knew my anticipation was as great as the kids’! Danelia also has a new and deeper sense of appreciation for the value of pictures. She is afraid that someday, that may be all she has left of Kenneth so cultural norms have given way to more pragmatic practices.
We gave Kenneth and Lindsay each three gifts to open. These would be the only gifts they would receive for Christmas – we all knew it - and they were super excited to open them. Lindsay got a small, pink toy sewing machine that she can use while her mama’s sewing on her own machine. She was as excited about the little plastic carrying case as she was the little machine!
In the picture to the right, you can see that Kenneth opened up his first package to find a transformer-type toy that turned from a man into a motorcycle and back again. He studied the picture intently to make sure he would know how to work it and was torn between opening it up or opening up the next gift. Just as a note here...I may have shared this with you before...I don't remember, but the rocker that Kenneth is sitting in is one of three that his church bought his family as a gift so that he would have a more comfortable chair to sit in besides the plastic chairs.

This picture is of Kenneth opening the gift that is to be shared by both he and Lindsay, a set of walkie-talkies. They both were excited about that! They each also had a small tube of gumballs with lego-type characters on the end of them attached to their package. Finally, came their big present.
I don’t know when, but at some point, the little neighbor boy had come over. He often does when we pull up. I wished I had thought about him ahead of time but I didn’t. I will have to try to remember to take him something the next time we take the kids any sort of gift. He sat quietly and watched the kids opening their gifts and as soon as Kenneth opened his transformer toy, both little boys grinned at each other. I could tell it was going to be something they were going to enjoy playing with together. That sweet little Kenneth has such a sharing heart…
We gave Lindsay her big package and Kenneth’s his. They carefully tore open the paper, dutifully handing the bows off their packages to their mother and it took Kenneth just a second to realize what he had gotten. He was ecstatic!!! It took Lindsay a few minutes longer but because her gift was similar to Kenneth’s, and she saw his reaction, she decided to be excited, too! Both of the kids got bilingual “laptop computer” type learning toys.
We saw one here at the local toy store (kind of like a small Toys-R-Us) which carries some of the major American brand toys but at a much inflated price. The one we saw would have been appropriate for Kenneth’s age but it was horribly expensive. We thought something like that would be good for him with all the school he’s missed. There are various games and programs which cover all the typical school subjects plus lots of fun stuff plus, he can learn it in Spanish or in English…a real plus as far as I’m concerned.
I got on-line and found tremendous deals at the manufacturer’s website on Cyber Monday. We were able to buy both kids their “laptops” at a fraction of what one would have cost us here and had Sadie and Marc bring them down to us to give the kids for Christmas. We also supplied the kids with batteries plus some extras so that when the electricity is off, they can still use them.
It didn’t take long for Lindsay to find the music program on her little laptop which is a simpler version than Kenneth’s and soon, that little block house was filled with electronic songs, beeps and chirps. I wasn’t sure how Danelia would react to the noise but she didn’t think it annoying at all…she was absolutely thrilled with the learning aspect of the little laptops.
Right after opening his up, Kenneth began jabbering a mile a minute about something. I could only catch a word or two and asked Danelia if it was okay. She told me that he was very excited because he had seen a little boy with one like that when he was in the hospital the last time and that he had gotten to play on it for a bit. He had dreamed of having one of his own someday and there it was! She said she didn’t know how to thank us for such wonderful gifts for her children. I told her with all honesty that it was our pleasure and I thanked her for sharing her children with us. She knows how much I miss my own grandchildren and she has seen my tears when I’ve expressed that to her during one of our more private times of talking.
Arturo told us that he was so appreciative for all the help we had been able to give them, especially with Kenneth. He said that he was thankful that we loved his children so much and that he was honored that we would think of them as we do. We stayed for awhile, watching the kids play and just visiting. We decided we needed to go so that we could make our last stop at Miguel and Elizabeth’s house and head back home before it got too late. We gave our hugs and kisses and headed down the rough, rutted road.
Danelia and Arturo live in a little 2 room concrete block house in a pretty poor neighborhood. They don’t have much but, as is the way of those who are wise in the world, they know they have more than some of their neighbors and for that they are thankful. Some of their neighbors live in makeshift tin shanties; some have utilized plastic to extend their living quarters. The fact is life in Nicaragua is hard for the majority of the population. Danelia and Arturo rarely focus on what they don’t have but instead try to focus on the ways they have been blessed. What a sweet family we have come to know here. They are teaching us so much.
When we pulled up in front of Miguel’s mother’s house, there was a lot of activity going on. One of Miguel’s brothers had brought a fabric sling-type chair as a Christmas gift for their mother. The idea of a gift was very exciting for all the various family members there in spite of the fact that Miguel’s mother didn’t want to sit in the chair. She didn’t think it seemed sturdy enough and she didn’t like it. She didn’t even pretend that she was pleased. No one seemed to think much of her reaction so I gathered that it was not an unusual one. Besides, it seemed as though everyone else was enjoying their allotted time in the new chair.
I felt a little awkward when we presented her the small fruit basket as she hugged and kissed me and thanked me for it. When I asked her how she was, she began telling me of her latest aches and pains. This, too, is not unusual but because she was up and around and her color was good, I wasn’t terribly concerned. After all, I had asked.
We took Miguel and Elizabeth out to the car and gave them their food bag. Miguel seemed quite pleased…he is still without work. I think Elizabeth was hoping for gifts again this year. She often has a very child-like attitude and although it’s not something I enjoy seeing, I’m not surprised when I see a flash of immaturity from her. I have learned to ignore such behavior from her and have come to accept that we are held accountable to do the things God has impressed upon us to do and not to do them based upon the reaction we receive. We have helped Miguel and Elizabeth quite a bit this past year with various needs. We don’t mind helping them when their needs are legitimate but neither do we want to foster dependence on us. That is always a tricky balance to find regardless who it is. The food bag was a great gift for them and I’m sure that Elizabeth realized that later.
Elizabeth wanted to show Sadie her home. Sadie stepped inside and realized that there was nowhere else to go. Later, Sadie expressed that she couldn’t believe that they could live in such a small house with absolutely no space whatsoever but they still had a small television. I understood Sadie’s questioning of priorities. But truthfully, when I get too caught up in doing that with others, I find that God is quick to bring someone or something along which will act as a highly reflective mirror. I try not to do that so much anymore just because I can’t stand the introspection I’m then forced to do!
We didn’t stay long as we still had our drive home before us and we were tired from the day’s activities. We were curious to hear what Sadie and Marc had to say about the people they had met that day and the places they had seen. Both acknowledged they had never seen poverty up close like that before and both acknowledged it was a lot to process. Their first instincts were to give the pat answers to remedy poverty. But with some discussion, I think we all agreed that poverty is a much more complex situation than what any of us first assumed…and the answer to it? I guess we all have our own responses to that.
Jesus said we will always have the poor among us. I don’t think that means that we’re supposed to have them. I think that means that we have them because the rest of us don’t do what we’re supposed to be doing.
Honestly, the poverty expressed through living conditions isn’t nearly as disturbing to me as it once was, although don’t think for one moment I still don’t wrestle with it. I do. But I think what bothers me far more is the poverty of spirit that we encounter. And that is not a geographical phenomenon but it is the condition of fallen man. The combination of the two perhaps explains our ministry a little better. We can’t change lives but we can introduce people to the One who will. As far as Sadie and Marc go…there’s no doubt the day brought them a crash course in cultural differences and I hope they had a better spiritual understanding of why we’re here.
The next day was Christmas. We had given all our employees the day off so it was a relatively quiet day around our house…that is it was if you ignored Xander and Pixie, Susanna’s dog, snapping, barking and growling at each other or if you tuned out Sadie and Marc’s verbal battle over whatever game they happened to be playing at the time. There was something comforting in the chaos.
I had looked at buying a turkey for Christmas, knowing that we were going to have the kids here. Every time I would go to the grocery store, I would wrestle with myself over the plump frozen piece of poultry. It was such a temptation…I love a well roasted turkey! In the States, turkey was standard fare at our house for both Thanksgiving and Christmas but I just couldn’t bring myself to pay $60 for one here. Plus, we still don’t have a freezer that I could have kept it in until time to thaw it out so I opted for a large chicken instead. It fit our budget and our refrigerator much better than a turkey would have.
That was one of the biggest chickens I had ever bought and I prepared it just like I would have a small turkey. It came out juicy and tender and was delicious! Our meal wasn’t fancy…actually it was quite simple but it was good and we all knew we were dining like kings compared to so many around us.
We called Mandy, Jack and the kids to wish them a Merry Christmas…and to try to be the first to say, “Christmas Gift!”, a tradition in our family that goes back to my great-grandmother. The one calling doesn’t stand a chance but it’s the heart of the greeting that really matters, not who says it first. The other tradition we always had is that Jim (Poppy) would read Luke’s account of the birth of Christ on Christmas Eve. Although Jim didn’t get to do it until Christmas morning this year, thanks to the wonderful technology of computers and Skype, he read the Christmas story to the kids. I’m not sure how it was on their end, but I can tell you the sweetness of that reading was exponentially intensified by the number of miles that are between us. Christmas is nothing without Jesus…literally. All in all, we had a wonderful Christmas here and although I’m a little late with this…CHRISTMAS GIFT, EVERYONE!!!

Christmas 2009 Part 1

It's 9 days in to the New Year and I'm just now getting the first blog of 2010 written. Let me begin by saying I am sorry if I’ve caused undue concern with my atypical silence. You know there are silence-starved people in the world who would love to experience that from me! I think there were plenty of times through the years growing up when my mother would have loved for that to occur. Usually, when it did, it was due to a high fever or upset stomach. And I have been dealing with a sickness of late but the occasional gastric upset hasn’t been the cause for what has apparently been an unusually lengthy absence from the blog. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I’d written the last blog until it was recently brought to my attention by several folks. I suppose that’s one of the dangers of being so vocal…when I’m not, it causes some to worry about us and I certainly didn’t mean that to happen.

Saying we’ve been busy seems like such a trite answer. And in part, it’s true. But, I’ll ‘fess up and say I’ve also struggled with being tremendously homesick the last few months. Maybe it was the holidays, maybe it was missing our girls, our son-in-law and our grandkids so much, maybe it was just the fact that life here can wear on you…whatever the reason or compilation of reasons, it’s not an understatement to say that being here has been a very real and tiring battle lately. And apparently, when I get to that point of being really, really tired and feeling really, really pitiful about being so far away from those I love, I tend to retreat somewhat. Retreat – not resign. I usually don’t give up a fight easily and that stubborn streak that I’ve so often been accused of having has been a benefit in that regard.

But homesick or not, I realize that I still have a responsibility to all of you to keep you apprised of what’s been going on with our ministry…and yes, we have been busy! So, let’s get down to business, shall we?

As much fun as our first Christmas was here, our second one will hold its own special memories for us. Sadie, my youngest daughter, and Marc, her boyfriend, came to spend some time with us over the holiday. It was great getting to show them who, what and where occupy much of our time here. I am not sure what they expected to find when they arrived but there is no doubt this year was a Christmas holiday unlike any other either of them have ever had.

The day after their arrival, we had planned to just spend a quiet day at home and let them rest as Sadie had requested before their arrival. But by early afternoon, Sadie was ready to go meet Managua. We took them to Huembes, a local market which has a section designed for tourists and they did some shopping.

The next day was Christmas Eve. Jim and I had gone to the market a couple of days before to buy enough food for 5 families we knew were struggling. The families varied in size from 2 people up to 9 people. Each bag had enough beans, rice, sugar, salt, oatmeal, oil and tortilla flour for a week plus sardines, spaghetti, ketchup (what they use here for spaghetti sauce), matches, toilet paper, soap balls, Chiky’s (cookies), soup mix and a large bag or can of milk and a box of a type of corn starch if there was a baby or small child in the house.

We also had tins and boxes of cookies, small fruit baskets and bags of 12 apples to give plus toys for seven boys and girls varying in ages of 5 to 11. The cookies and fruit baskets went to our 3 regular cambistas…these are our moneychangers, Doña Blanca – the owner of a little fritanga (sidewalk café) that we sometimes eat at, the man who runs the fruit stand not far from our house, the director of the school in Los Cedros and her husband who is the pastor of one of the local churches there and Miguel’s mother and the night guard of our neighbor…he was so good to keep an eye on our place, as well. We also gave each of our regular carry out boys at the grocery store a 100 cordoba bill which they absolutely loved! One of the boys told me his wife was going to be so happy.

Freddy, Felix, Fernando and Margarita…the four who work for us…of course received their aguinaldo which is a month’s worth of wages that is required by law to be paid by December 10th on top of their regular wages. All appreciated it, there’s no doubt but Felix’s reaction was especially worth noting. He thanked us repeatedly and then told us that we are the first employer he’s ever had who has paid that to him. He said that we have treated him better than he has been treated at any other job. There was no doubt as to his surprise and gratitude at receiving what was legally his.

His favorite job had been working five years for a man from Spain, who was also supposed to be a Christian. Felix worked as the guard, gardener and all around handyman there. He and his family lived in a small little house on the property and Felix loved it. But he was always on call there and never really had any free time. He never received his holiday pay, vacation pay, sick time or aguinaldo in spite of the fact that all are mandatory by law and he probably would have stayed in that job if the man had not decided to return to Spain when Daniel Ortega was elected as president several years ago. Felix said he thanks God he works for us now.

I thought to myself how often we all are willing to settle for what is good in the eyes of man instead of seeking what is best in the eyes of God…and how we root ourselves in the familiar instead of being willing to trust God in stepping out in faith to the unknown. I’m glad Felix is with us now and I hope he is, too.

For Christmas, our employees also each received a Christmas bonus. This was just something we felt as though we wanted to do for them. They are loyal, hard-working and trustworthy and we are blessed to have them with us. Each of them received a box of cookies, a bag of apples (a huge luxury for them) and gift wrapped toys for their children. Again, that was very well-received by all.

Freddy and Margarita were appreciative but not necessarily surprised as they were with us at Christmas last year. But for Fernando, our night guard and Felix, they were extremely surprised. And once again, Felix was the one who touched us most with his words of thanks.
He was overcome with emotion and with tears in his eyes, told us that this was the first time in his 32 years of life that he had received anything for Christmas. Christmas presents were for other people. He said that he had never been able to buy presents for his boys and that he didn’t have enough words to thank us for such kindness that we were showing to them. A tear spilled over and Felix quickly wiped it away and that’s when mine began. I am always so deeply touched when I see such raw and honest emotion.

We are so blessed, folks. A man stood in front of me, literally crying out of gratitude for what he deemed as generosity and kindness on our part. Each time I think I can’t be more humbled for what we’ve seen and experienced, God shows me differently…and He also shows me how much selfishness I still clasp tightly to my heart. Being here is good for the soul, believe me. Not easy, but good.

Christmas Eve morning came and saw Jim and Marc starting to load the care with the food bags and gifts that we had to deliver that day. We had a lot of ground to cover, going from a town west of Managua to one east of it and so we hurried to get going. Our first stop was in Los Cedros. We ran by Pastora’s house and although she and Pastor Manuel weren't at home, we dropped off their fruit basket with their daughter and quickly showed Sadie and Marc around the school. It was closed as it’s their “summer vacation” right now but we were able to walk around the buildings and the kids got a good idea of the place.

Some of you may remember me telling you about Moses, the young man who helped the team from Cassville when they constructed Juan and Nohemi’s house. He, his wife Marissa and their baby were living in a very small building that belonged to Manuel Luis, the janitor at the school. Manuel Luis and his wife had allowed them to live there for free until Moses found work. The problem was it was three months later and Moses hadn’t found any work…based on some previous conversations with Moses, I’m not sure how much he was actively looking.

Manuel Luis and his wife had decided they wanted to try to open a little food shop in that building to supplement his income from the school. They asked Moses and his family to find another place to live. I’m not sure what exactly transpired from that point on other than Moses and his family were living in one of the buildings at the school and Manuel Luis was no longer working at the school. Without getting in the middle of all of that, I personally don’t think that any of those moves were necessarily the best ones that could have been made. But, they weren’t mine to make…thankfully.

We had prepared a bag for Moses and his family but they weren’t there. We found out that they had traveled up to Jinotega to spend the holidays with Marissa’s family. The family there would like for them to move back up there with them. That might be the best thing for them but we’ll see what happens.

After leaving the school, we went up to Juan & Nohemi’s new house to deliver their Christmas food bag. We had to park down at the bottom of the hill and walk up to their place. They live next door to Juan’s mother and she saw us as soon as we started up the hill. Of course, she called for Nohemi to come meet us and within seconds, Nohemi and little Juan David (3 years next month) stood at the edge of their yard, welcoming us to their home.

We went in and visited for a little bit. Juan David loved showing off for the new gringos who had come to see him and little Manuel Isaiah's expressions kept us all laughing. Nohemi was very happy to receive the bag of food and especially the can of milk we brought. She proudly showed her one room house to Sadie and Marc along with the things the church had given them, such as their table & chairs and bed. She explained to them that the outside kitchen was much better for the children than how she used to cook inside their little plastic wrapped lean-to. Evidently the new construction was so inspiring that Juan’s mother then had a little roofed area put up over her own outside cook-stove. Home improvements are contagious in any neighborhood.

After our visit to Nohemi, we then went to see Manuel Luis and his family. There are a total of 9 people who live in his small house…6 children and 1 grandson. Manuel Luis was the janitor at the school and I had four of his students in class. When we pulled up, although the door was open, there was a noticeable lack of activity around the house. I called out “Buenas”…a common “hello”. No answer. I then called out Talifer’s name…she was my little 3rd grader last year. She came running out and threw her arms around me. The other 3 kids followed. None were smiling and Talifer was hugging me tightly. When I asked her how she was, she told me, “Bad”. I asked her what was wrong and as she began telling me, her mother appeared.

It was obvious that she had been crying. She interrupted Talifer and asked if I would come in to the house and talk to Iris, the 16 year old. She told me that Iris and her father had a fight and that she had tried to cut her wrist with a knife. Of course, all the little ones were scared spitless. I hurried inside not at all sure what I would find. The mother took me back to a small room and there was Iris, laying across the bed and sobbing nonstop. When I called her name she continued to cry and kept her face covered. I sat down on her bed, began rubbing her back and continued to speak in a low, soothing tone to her…mostly in English as my Spanish is sorely lacking regarding how to deal with a hysterical sixteen year old.

I pulled Iris’s wrists toward me, she didn’t resist but kept her eyes clamped tightly shut. I saw nothing. Her mother had joined us by this time and she, too, was continuing to cry and gesture very dramatically, telling me how Iris just wanted to die and had cut herself with the knife. She told me that she and Manuel Luis had a terrible fight and that he had left. Iris refused to answer any of my questions.

I asked her mother to tell me again where Iris had cut herself as I thought I must have misunderstood her when she said the wrist. She answered that it was the wrists. So, once again, I pulled her wrists to me and upon closer examination in the dark, dingy room which was only big enough to hold the double bed, I saw a faint little scratch across one arm…the skin barely roughened and it certainly was not broken anywhere. A very dull and well worn table knife was on the corner of the bed.

It was hot in the room and Talifer and her little sister, Genesis, kept peeking around the curtain in to the room to see if Iris was indeed dying. I decided that the scene had gone on long enough. I called each of the girls in, hugged them and gave them each a kiss. I told them that Iris was fine and was just upset. I also told them that their father loved each one of them very much and that I did, too. I then shooed them out to the front room with Jim.

I told the mother that Iris was going to be fine and then I told Iris that I was there to help her if I could but I couldn’t do that unless she talked to me and would tell me why she was so upset that she felt she had to scare the rest of the family. No response. I asked the mother where Manuel Luis was and she told me he had left to go to Managua to try to find work. I told Iris that if she wasn’t going to talk to me then there was no point in me being in there with her. That seemed to stop the constant sobbing almost instantly.

Iris told me that she and her father had argued over a class she wanted to take this next year in school. She was going to need to use a computer to do the work for it. A computer. This family can’t even afford enough food to feed the children lunch on a daily basis…there was no food in the house when we arrived…finding a computer to use should be way down on the list of worries for them. Her mother told me the children hadn’t eaten any lunch for the last 5 days and that Manuel Luis had not eaten any for the last 7. No wonder the computer issue was not a high priority on Manuel Luis’s list. But then, I don’t suppose a 16 year old girl intuitively understands that. Her world is very small and she is the nucleus of it.

I didn’t understand everything that was being said but I did ask some very pointed questions and was relieved to hear that there had not been any hitting. I don’t know that I would have been surprised if there had been but I would have been greatly saddened. I told Iris that I was sorry that she and her father had argued and that I could see that the entire family was upset. I also told her that her father had a lot of pressure on him trying to feed the family and since he no longer had any work, it was very difficult for him. I told her that maybe a computer wasn’t as important as some other things were right then.

She nodded her head and said she didn’t think that her father wanted her in the house anymore. I told her he was only frustrated and angry, more at their financial situation than with her and that we would pray right then that when he returned home that he would have found a job and that he would enter into a house of peace, that his heart would be softened and that God would give her the words to speak to him. I reminded her that the next day was Christmas and that was to be a day of peace and love and a day to remember that God gave us His son, Jesus on that day. She only nodded. I took hold of her hand and began praying out loud in English. She began to cry again, only this time, it was a softer, quieter cry, not the earlier melodramatic sobbing.

I could faintly hear Jim, Sadie and Marc entertaining and being entertained by the other kids in the front room. It was good to hear the kids laughing when just moments earlier, they were so solemn and scared. It all seemed kind of surreal and yet, I had a feeling it was something that not only was it very real but also fairly common in that family.

Iris wouldn’t come in to the front room with us. She was embarrassed. I gave her a hug and kiss and told her I loved her and would continue to pray for her. I asked her if she would give me a smile for my Christmas present and she flashed a beautiful smile. Her mother then came in with a stack of photos to share with me. So we sat on the bed and went through all the pictures they had. Of course, I had a comment for each picture. By the time we were through, Iris was smiling without being coaxed. It was time to go…I was ready. I was hot, sweaty and drained. I don’t care for soap operas on television or in real life.

As we left the bedroom, I put some money in to the hand of the mother and told her I wanted her to send one of the children to buy chicken for the family. I told her we had brought food for them but that since the next day was Christmas, they needed to have chicken so they could have a special meal. She hugged me tightly and thanked me and then turned to also thank Jim, Sadie and Marc for the food. The kids were all smiles at that point…they remembered that we had brought food!
The children all gave hugs and kisses as we got ready to leave. Of course, there had to be pictures taken. Iris wouldn't come out of her room but the kids apparently were through, at least for the moment, of allowing her to ruin their day...there was a camera to pose for and the earlier drama didn't seem to dampen the spirits for a photo-op! Even Mom was all smiles!

There was a small papaya sitting outside on their wash table…the only sign of food we had seen and as we were leaving, Talifer ran back to the wash table, picked it up and ran up to give it to me. It broke my heart to take it but it would have broken theirs if I hadn’t. I hugged her tightly and thanked her for such a wonderful gift. I told her I didn’t have a papaya at home and that one was perfect. Her smile couldn’t have gotten any bigger.

And then we left. That seems so anticlimactic but it’s what happened. It was well past noon...we headed back towards Managua on our way to Tipitapa. There was still a lot more Christmas to deliver!