Hazel...

Remember I told you about our friend, Hazel, “happening” to run in to us at the airport upon our arrival? And that we planned to get together for lunch and a good, long visit? Well, last Friday, we had that visit and that lunch and it was every bit as wonderful as I could have hoped.

Hazel lives some distance away from us and so we decided to meet at Metro Centro Mall where we would pick her up and then bring her home with us to have lunch. There was a slight confusion on our times, so Jim and I spent an hour just browsing through the mall…you know how I hated that! :0) It was nice to be able to have that kind of leisure time as usually, when we’re there, we’re on some sort of mission to find a particular item, but at the same time, I was a little worried about how our already prepared lunch back at the house was going to hold up. It was a very simple and easy lunch, nothing special, only spaghetti , corn and salad with cheese bread and ice cream for dessert, but I wanted everything to be nice for our guest.

While wandering the mall, we did discover a new little store that had opened up sometime while we were in the States. I suppose it is like a Nicaraguan Dollar Store in its concept. The most expensive items there cost no more than 30 cords, or about $1.50, with most items costing 20 cords or less. My kind of store…at least these days, anyway! We did find a few things to use at school and a few things for ourselves. So, when we finally met up with Hazel, I was still experiencing my euphoric shopping “high”. Funny how some days, just buying a few simple things can put a spring in your step!

It was so good to see Hazel again. At 23 years of age, she’s such a beautiful young woman, both in her appearance and in her spirit. There are many young women, both Nicaraguans and Americans, who fall in to the first category, but sadly, there are very few of those who also are equally beautiful in their spirit. Jim and I both believe Hazel is a breath of fresh air for us here. And although we don’t see her nearly as often as we would like, we have spent enough time with her to know she is a very special individual.

Hazel has such a gentleness and genuineness of Christ about her and while she is not abrasive or confrontational in her faith, neither does she compromise. She is a young, Christian woman who does not need to declare she’s a Christian, in order for one to know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she is. I have never heard her resort to sarcasm or cover a mean-spirited comment with a laugh. I don’t hear her speaking poorly about someone else and disguising her gossip by saying she’s speaking the truth in love. She is willing to walk away from situations and places where she knows God does not want her to be or where He’s not being glorified. I add that second part as she is the only Christian in her workplace and as difficult as it is for her there, she believes that’s the mission field God has given her right now. That shows a real strength, wisdom and maturity that has nothing to do with years, denominations or legalism. It comes from a daily and a deeply personal and authentic walk with the Lord.

There was no need to worry about lunch…it was fine and Hazel seemed to enjoy it, eating more than I could imagine her petite little frame could hold but it was only a precursor for the feeding the Lord had in store for Jim and me. Conversations with Hazel may start out with small talk, but they don’t stay that way. Oh…I better remind you just in case you get the wrong idea about my linguistic prowess in Spanish, Hazel is fluent in English. That’s good because right now, I’m fairly certain that we couldn’t have the depth of conversation with her that we do. Someday, I hope to be able to do that in Spanish, but right now, that’s not the case.

We met Hazel several years ago when we first came down to find a place to live and were staying with Susanna for two weeks. Hazel, only 21 at that time, was translating at a conference being held for local pastors and because the location was close to Susanna’s house, she came to stay a few days there instead of traveling back and forth to her own home, which is in the heart of the city.

Hazel’s first evening there, Susanna had plans with her friends which left Hazel and us alone with an evening to get to know each other. It didn’t take long for us to recognize Hazel’s unique qualities and personality. Of course, we had the typical exchange of telling one another a bit about ourselves but then, without even realizing there had been a shift in the conversation, we were talking about the deeper things of God. Hazel shared some of the burdens on her heart with family, ministry and friendships and some of the struggles she faced as a young woman in this culture and wanting to live in a Kingdom culture. We were struck with her level of maturity and her hunger for the Lord.

Both of those characteristics have only increased judging from the time we spent together at lunch last week. Although Hazel has a degree in architectural design, she has chosen to follow God’s promptings in her area of work. God opened a door for her to get a job at the airport working for one of the airlines. Hazel has discovered there are many of her co-workers who are actively pursuing lifestyles which are in direct opposition to God’s Word. She has been faithful to demonstrate Christ-like love to everyone, especially those whose lifestyles are abhorrent, yet she has never softened what God’s Word says. She has courageously walked through the doors God has opened for her in regards to dialoguing with these folks about such things. She has shared scripture, she has prayed and she has remained open and approachable, never wanting to shut the door on the possibility of sharing God’s message of redemption which is available to
all of us.

Hazel’s areas of responsibility are great and her work ethics and integrity have been recognized so that she has been promoted over others who have seniority. Naturally, this has created some uncomfortable situations for her but she handles her position with humility and an attitude of serving others. She never speaks of her position with an attitude of arrogance or entitlement. I am in awe at the lack of crippling pride that this young woman possesses.

I want to share a story she told us at lunch. We were talking about the difficulty in fighting the pull of the world. In the past, due to her fluency in English, Hazel has served as a translator for many missionaries who host visiting teams. She told us that she got to the point where she didn’t want to do that anymore, even though it paid very well. She said that she was becoming very disillusioned with the conflicting lifestyles of both the missionaries and the teams of “Christians” who came. She said that she heard them talk the talk to those to whom they came to minister, but when it came to their daily living, their walk was much different. She recognized that all believers still have their daily battles with their flesh, but she said that much of what she witnessed was hypocrisy. She knows local Christians and American missionaries whose social lives and activities are no different than the same things the world seeks. They frequent the same places and exhibit much of the same behaviors. She said God told her in His Word we were to be different. She believes that's to be evident and evidenced.

By no means does she believe she is immune to the pull of this world or to the desire to be accepted by her peers. She continued on to tell us that a group of her friends are always going to the concerts and clubs that are very popular here. Hazel had never been part of that but she said these friends are girls who are Christians and they convinced her it was fun and no big deal. So, she said she decided to go one night. One part of her was a little apprehensive but the other part was excited to be going out and she was looking forward to having a good time. She was to meet her friend at the club and when she got inside, she said it was packed.

The look on Hazel’s face as she was telling us the story only helped me visualize the scene that was to follow. She said that the music was very loud and that people were yelling to one another just to be heard. She was looking for her friend and became aware that the yelling had become more than just people trying to talk above the music. Fights began breaking out around her with people shoving and hitting each other and then crowd seemed to be closing in. Instinctively, she began moving back towards the entrance. Suddenly, there were gunshots. She said that people began screaming and pushing. Hazel said that she knew she needed to get out of there right then. She said she turned and ran towards the door and was almost knocked down in the process. She said she believed she could have been trampled to death if she hadn’t been able to remain on her feet.

Once outside, she quickly moved away from the building. She said that all of a sudden, it seemed as though the noise had stopped although it was clear that the chaos was continuing. Hazel said she suddenly heard a voice saying, “You don’t belong here, daughter. Come home. You belong at home.” She said she knew it was God calling His wandering child home. Hazel said she left, scared to death, and couldn’t get home fast enough. She said the next day that she talked with her friend and she told Hazel that kind of thing happens all the time but usually, no one gets hurt. Hazel told her that the whole thing was crazy and that she realized that she really didn’t want to be part of that and that God didn’t want her to be part of it. As she was telling us the story, I thought about the verse in John 10:10 that says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” What a good example.

Now don’t think for one minute that Hazel is boring and scared of life. She is anything but! Several times, she has traveled alone to and through the United States to visit friends and family. She is feminine and gentle but isn’t afraid to get dirty doing whatever needs to be done. She just recently returned from a trip to Panama where she and several friends hiked three hours through the jungle and then took a small boat out on the ocean to go visit one of the more primitive islands. A few months ago, she was robbed on a bus at gunpoint. To have gone through that and still take public transportation is remarkable enough In my opinion. But the rest of the story is that Hazel proceeded to witness to the young man who had threatened to kill her. That woman is no shrinking violet!

Someday, Hazel wants to be married…but she’s not willing to settle. She believes God has the right man for her and he will be a man who shares her faith, her values and her vision for God’s Kingdom. She holds the bar high and I commend her for that. She has dated a few young men but none seriously. She is not naïve by any means but she is discerning and because of that God-given insight, she constantly seeks God’s direction in all her relationships, including those with members of the opposite sex. She very strongly believes in being kind to others and recognizes that using someone else’s body outside of marriage to gratify your own physical desires is anything but kind.

Our “luncheon” ended about 6:30 that evening. Hazel wanted to go to the young adult’s evening Bible study at her church so we drove her. It had been a delightful day spent with a delightfully remarkable, young woman. I told her we would love to have her come back anytime and didn’t want to wait so long between visits. She told me she would love to come and just spend the night so we could talk and talk. I loved that! When I hugged her and kissed her cheek good-bye, it was with such affection and appreciation for the time she had spent with us.

As if you couldn’t guess, Jim and I think the world of Hazel. I realize I have sung her praises quite highly. I am not so foolish as to think Hazel is perfect nor would she want me to do so. But I am astute enough to appreciate the fact that the teachers God puts before me in this life do not all have to be older than myself. I think one of the things I enjoy most about Hazel is that after every encounter with her, I find myself taking a mental inventory of my own faith walk. She is one of those people who makes me want to be a better “me” and I find that when our time together is over, I feel rejuvenated about our days ahead here.

I know in our church, as in many, most Sunday school classes are classified by ages. I understand and appreciate the thinking behind that…like interests, similar places in life, commonalities, etc. But, I also have learned so much from people who have walked with Jesus much longer than I have – their wisdom and life experiences are invaluable. But I have also found, that when I am open to instruction and committed to having a teachable spirit, I have learned an immense amount from those who are chronologically much younger than myself. Their passion, enthusiasm and commitment to the Lord are inspiring…just as Hazel has been for us. She definitely goes in the Plus column of life here in Managua.

Continuing to learn...

Moving on to our first Friday back…it was a very busy day. It began with Snoopers, one of the cats that had been living here, showing up at our door, meowing pathetically. Now, unless you are as much of an animal lover I am, this part won’t mean anything to you, but bear with me for a minute. Before we had left for the States, in anticipation of our 6 week absence, we had been weaning the cats off of us feeding them every day. We wanted them to be able to make it on their own as we knew that we didn’t want to be the permanent caretakers of nine cats…that’s right, nine cats. It’s a long story of which I will spare the telling. Anyway, we had prayed, asking that God would take care of these cats and help them find homes other than ours…yes, I really did pray about the cats.

Upon our return, we no longer had a carport of cats. We kept professing how happy we were that God had answered that prayer (at least that’s what we were wanting to believe) but at the same time, I will confess, it was strangely quiet and a bit lonely without the “cat clocks” letting us know when it was mealtime. So, that morning, when I heard Snoopers pitiful meow, I couldn’t get the back door open fast enough. He had been our favorite of the cats and I was missing him more than all the others. But, sure enough, there stood our Snoops! Terribly thin, weak and walking with a limp but still demanding breakfast, just as he had before we left. I began to cry…seems like I’ve been doing a lot of that lately… I bent down and Snoops actually came to me, which was a bit out of character. He had always been somewhat stand-offish. I slowly reached out my hand and he rubbed against it. I began petting him and he acted as though he couldn’t get enough attention.

I set out a dish of water and found a piece of leftover chicken in the fridge. I tore it up in to small pieces and gave it to Snoops. He ate like he was starved and considering his appearance, he just might have been. We brought home cat food that night and have been feeding him twice a day since. He is starting to gain some weight back and beginning to look a bit more like his old self. Needless to say, Snoops has moved back and made himself quite at home on the back deck and we’re all much happier. Thank you, Lord!

Okay…on to the rest of the day. After getting Snoops fed, we packed up the car and got ready to go to Tipitapa to meet with Miguel and Elizabeth. We had to stop to get gas and it was then that we realized the gadget that opens the little door to the gas tank was broken as it was the first time we had to use it since our return. Jim was able to get down and reach up under the dash and pull the spring so that the door finally opened. Thank goodness! The car doesn’t do us much good if we can’t put gas in it! After getting our fuel, we started on our way to Tipitapa. We hadn’t gone too far through the city when we realized the air conditioner wasn’t working. We noticed it wasn’t working its best when we got home but now, it wasn’t cooling at all! At least it was early enough in the day that it wasn’t too uncomfortable with it just blowing in outside air. Car issues! Hate ‘em.

About an hour and a half later, we pulled up in front of Miguel’s house. It was great to see them again, along with other members of the family. We had such a good chat, catching up on how Miguel’s schooling was going. He proudly showed us his certificate of graduation from his cell phone repair school and told us he is now taking an advanced course which will give him government accreditation to do more complicated services. He explained it all to me but I don’t think I would have understood it any better if he would have said it in English!

We also were introduced to their new chickens. While we were gone, Miguel sold their baby pelibuey – (the animal that is a hair-sheep…it doesn’t grow wool). It was the last of three. It seems it had gotten too costly to keep buying feed for it. With part of the proceeds from the sale, he bought 4 chickens and a rooster which came with an attitude. Miguel was very excited as the hens have started laying eggs, which are a lovely pale shade of blue! Blue eggs other than those from a robin or the Easter bunny are a novelty for me. Okay…I know there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny and please don’t take that as any sort of theological attack…it was just a silly way to express my limited barnyard exposure.

Of course, we had brought back gifts for everyone, including Miguel’s mother. They all seemed genuinely quite pleased that we thought of them. Miguel was really excited over the broken cell phone that Tommy and Nora, friends from Cassville, sent down for him to practice on. It was hard to get him to quit messing with it long enough to look at his other things, but eventually, he shifted his attention to the Bible studies and the new Bibles we had brought for both he and Elizabeth. That’s when we got the best gift…their expressions!

Miguel’s Bible is called a Leadership Bible and seems to have really good study notes in it. He felt like it looked very dignified and he was anxious to start reading…I hope his enthusiasm holds! As excited as Miguel was with his new Bible, his expression couldn’t hold a candle to the child-like look of wonder which slowly spread across Elizabeth’s face as she stood staring at her own Bible. We found a women’s devotional Bible and the cover was a pretty, soft, feminine pink… just the thing to capture Elizabeth’s eye. She gently opened it up and began turning the pages, slowly looking at how very different it was from the Bible she shared with Miguel. I had also found a little Beth Moore month-long devotional and an Elizabeth George study for her - both in Spanish. She had never even seen a devotional or a Bible study before, let alone one designed for women. She was captivated even by the cover of the study and immediately pointed out to me that the author’s name was the same as her own – Elizabeth-obviously, a very good sign that this “study book” was a good thing. I’m hoping she will actually use it…

We took Miguel and Elizabeth to lunch at a local restaurant and while there, Elizabeth asked if we wanted to go visit Abuelita…her beloved grandmother. Of course, we said yes, knowing that it would also give Elizabeth an opportunity to spend a little time with her. Miguel wasn’t quite so keen on the idea, but didn’t want to be left out if we were going, so he climbed in to the car. I think there’s still some tension between the two families but we just pretended to not notice and did not go on in to Abuelita’s house until Miguel had gotten out of the car and joined us. We didn’t stay long but long enough that Elizabeth’s aunt managed to sell me one of the bags she had bought at the market to try to sell. I’m sure I paid too much for it but I’m also sure that she needed the money. She’s now a single mom of several children as her husband left her last year with a new baby. It was a way we could bless her and still keep the boundaries in place we need with her.

After our visit with Abuelita, we then went to visit Danelia (Miguel’s sister), Kenneth and Lindsay. We had a bag full of surprises for this family, some small gifts that we had purchased in the U.S. for them along with another can of Pediasure, which we were able to purchase through the generosity of some of the most amazing VBS kids from Cassville, MO that you would ever have the privilege of meeting. Let me brag on those kids for a minute.

While we were home, we visited with Jeanna Jones, our church’s Children’s Minister. She is amazing with kids and was in the throes of getting ready for VBS. We had shared Kenneth’s story with her and had told her what a special little guy he is. Much to our surprise, Jeanna passed that information on to the VBS kids. Every day of VBS, those remarkable Cassville kids gave their offering to go to Kenneth…to help offset the cost of food and Pediasure, which is very expensive here. I’ve told you before we’ve seen God grow loaves and fishes here…He did it again with those children. Collectively, they gave enough money to make sure that Kenneth has enough Pediasure for a year plus we’re also now able to help the family more often with the necessary fruit and medicines Kenneth requires.

There’s just something special about the heart of a child…and those Cassville kids definitely have special hearts. Not only were they unbelievably generous in their giving for Kenneth, they also made cards and wrote letters to him, assuring him they were praying for him and that his friendship base had grown exponentially. There were purchased cards that had been signed, cards that had stickers on them, cards that had bits and pieces of colored paper glued on them, cards that had drawings of airplanes to cars to rainbows, cards that had been colored, cards with scribbles and cards with really good artwork. All were placed in a large manila envelope, safely sealed shut with God’s stamp of approval.

When we pulled up in front of Danelia’s house, Kenneth and Lindsay were already outside waiting for us. Miguel had thold them that we were coming to Tipitapa that day and they had hoped we would come by to visit. The children had been watching for our car. They were so glad to see us and the hugs were long and tight…those that were given and those we received. We went inside, sat down and began distributing the gifts…some from us and some from other folks back in the States. Danelia smiled gratefully when she saw the Pediasure…once again, God’s timing was perfect. They were finishing up what we had purchased for them before we left for the States. But the gift that brought the biggest smile on Kenneth’s face and softened the expression on Danelia’s face was the manila envelope filled with cards and letters from Kenneth’s new friends from Cassville.

Lindsay, Kenneth and a little neighbor boy, who had come over to the house to check out the curious looking gringos, all climbed up on Kenneth’s bed which sits in the living room, and proceeded to carefully open and look at each piece of mail very carefully. Kenneth would trace the words and pictures with his finger and more often than not, climb down off his bed and come over to me to ask me to tell him what his card/letter would say. Thankfully, my Spanish is about equal to the children’s writings so I was able to do that for Kenneth. He had kept his mask on the entire time so we couldn’t see his smile but without fail, every single card or letter would result in Kenneth’s eyes crinkling up and twinkling brightly…evidence of a mile-wide grin hidden by his mask. Of course, when Jim got ready to take a picture of the kids, they all had to pose with Kenneth’s removing his mask. They’re cute pictures but not nearly as cute as they would have been if we could have captured the three kiddos huddled together over Kenneth’s coveted stack of mail. It really was a very touching time for all of us.

While there, we received a phone call from our friends, Ronnie and Angi, who run a camp there in Tipitapa. We had already scheduled a visit with them for that afternoon and they were just calling us to let us know that they had finished their errands in Managua and were back at the camp and ready for us to come over. We told them we would be there after we dropped Miguel and Elizabeth back off at their house.

We spent about three hours with our friends and enjoyed our visit to the camp. They happened to have a team in while we were visiting and we could see how busy life keeps them there. But regardless, they were wonderful hosts and showed us all around, making us feel very much at home. It was really nice to get to know them better and we hope to be able to continue to stay in touch with them. We finally said our good-byes and began heading back in to Managua…just in time for rush-hour traffic! It was a little more uncomfortable coming home without a/c than it was driving earlier in the day.

The whole a/c thing is frustrating to me. I’m not sure if you remember or not, but we had just had the a/c serviced several months prior…obviously, that was wasted time and money. The mechanic we now use happens to be back home in Canada for a month but we’re hoping to get it repaired by someone else within the week. We’ve managed to get along now without it for the last week and a half, but it’s much nicer to have than not so we’re hoping that when we get it “fixed” this time, it stays fixed! And yet, even as I type that, a scripture is running through my mind…I’ll share that in a sec.

See, I’ve noticed something very unattractive about myself…as much as I love the Lord, I find my human nature does not hesitate to surface and I’m not quick to repress it. Unfortunately, one of those aspects is my readiness to complain. One of the things I was so looking forward to experiencing when we returned to the States was air conditioning. Well, once there, I found I was cold most of the time. We slept under a quilt and 2 blankets while we were at Mandy’s house and my sweater was usually my constant companion wherever we went. I can remember complaining to Jim that it was going to be nice to not be hunched up with cold everywhere we went. Well, God was faithful to give us plenty of heat upon our return to Managua! But was I happy with that heat? Nope. I noticed that without a/c in the car, the heat wasn’t nearly as welcome as several weeks earlier that I had imagined it would be. So, what did I do? I complained. I complained that I was hot. The car’s air conditioning had always been our respite from the Nicaraguan heat. And now without it, I’m complaining that I want to be cool. What’s God saying to me in this constant contradiction of comfort levels? I think He’s saying I have much to learn…

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:11-12

Restore to me...

We’ve had a busy couple of weeks since our return. I will try to help you get caught up with us over the next few days…The day after we got home (Wednesday) I was still feeling a bit down. It was hard leaving our family this time and it was hard leaving our friends. I guess ‘cause I knew more of what we were coming back to than I did at this time last year. We have met some wonderful people here and we are still certain this is where God has called us, but there are areas where we feel a definite void and close, intimate friendships like we had in the States have not happened here. Maybe it was that realization that contributed to the heaviness of heart I had as I spent the day unpacking, starting laundry, doing errands and grocery shopping…and basically, just getting settled back in to our Managua mindset.

Our friend, Roger, who lives in Jinotepe, came by to pick up some things they asked us to bring back from the States for them. It’s always good to see Roger and his visit was a good distraction so that I wasn’t dwelling on the previous days’ goodbyes. We talked ministries and politics and then solved the world’s problems in about thirty minutes…don’t know why the world’s leaders are having such a time with it all…Roger, Jim and I got it all knocked out pretty quickly!

The next morning (Thursday), we ran out to the school at Los Cedros so we could touch base with the teacher who filled in for me while we were gone. Although, my mood was a bit better, I still felt a little hollow inside. I didn’t expect to feel quite so down about leaving…or coming back. Our drive on the way out to Los Cedros was pretty quiet…Jim concentrating on avoiding the sink-hole sized pot holes and me just staring out the window, trying to sort out the tumble of emotions I felt inside.

God often brings different song lyrics to my mind and that morning was no exception…the song “Restore to Me” by Mac Powell and Candi Pearson Shelton off the Glory Revealed CD kept running through my head. It was funny that of all songs, that one came to my mind. Although it was one of my favorites on that CD, I hadn’t heard any of those songs off since I had my I-pod stolen last year. But run it did… ”Restore to me, the joy of my salvation, restore to me, the wonders of your love, restore to me the joy of my salvation, restore to me, restore to me”. I think my spirit must have been asking God to do that very thing for me…to restore what I felt had appeared to be missing…joy and wonder.

When we arrived at the school, we found Hannah working in the office on her last days’ lessons. She appeared much as I had pictured her…a fresh-faced, bright and pleasant 20-something young girl. Hannah works for her local YMCA back in the States and is quite used to working with older teens…this was new ground for her. It didn’t take long until we were sitting there chatting away. Hannah said she enjoyed the experience but she learned that she definitely didn’t want to be a teacher. It seems as though some of the kids proved to be a bit of a challenge…I was able to name most of them for her! She seemed a bit surprised…she shouldn’t have been…I am all too familiar with these kids’ and their M.O.s!

I kept waiting for Hannah to tell me how she had fallen in love with the kids. She told me she enjoyed her time there and that it had been a good experience but she was ready to go home. Although she said she would probably return to Nicaragua sometime in the future, we both knew she probably wouldn’t come back to the school. I was a little disappointed that being at the school hadn’t captured her heart as it had mine, but I know God has other plans for her. God’s timing for her to be in Nicaragua was as it should have been. Her time here matched our time away perfectly and now her time was coming to a close.

Hannah finished updating me with what she had worked on with the kids. As she was trying to get her last day’s curriculum finished, I thanked her again for filling in for me and told her good-bye. I asked Pastora if it would be okay to go visit the classrooms for a minute. She assured me it was fine to pop in to say hello.

I was a little apprehensive as I wasn’t sure how the kids would receive us after being gone for a month and a half. There was nothing to worry about…they mobbed us! I expected hugs from some of the girls but was very surprised to get some from many of the boys who normally aren’t that demonstrative. We even had some of the pre-schoolers come running to give hugs! I wasn’t quite sure why that was but figured that because we don’t teach them, maybe it’s easier for them to love us! One of the most touching moments of all was when one of the little girls, holding me tightly, looked up and said, “Usted ha regresado!”…”You’ve come back!” It made me wonder how many in her short little life never have…

No one could have been more surprised at the joy I felt at seeing the children than I was. Their smiles were like brilliant beacons of light as they came running across the schoolyard, shouting my name. They had seen our car pull in to the school and when they saw us walk out of the office towards their school rooms, they all came running, some from their classrooms, some from the restrooms and some from under a group of shade trees. I fought back the unexpected tears as the children danced around us.

One would have thought we were long lost loved ones who hadn’t seen each other in ages…I suppose part of that statement is true. God has done such a work in my heart and I really do love these children. They frustrate me and at times, they irritate me. They are often loud and disruptive when I want them to be quiet and well-behaved. They have found practically every one of my buttons and they know how to push them. Yet God has planted them firmly and deeply in my heart and they are now mine…and I love them more than I had ever expected I could.

Some of them hadn’t changed a bit. Some seemed as though they had grown inches in the six weeks we were gone. Some had cut their hair, some needed to have a haircut. Some were well-groomed, some were way overdue a good scrubbing from head to toe. Some had on clean uniforms, others wore torn and stained t-shirts. Impossibly, some seemed even thinner than they were before we left. All of them were a sight for sore eyes and my hurting heart. I thought each one of them looked beautiful.

Our visit with them was brief but filled with laughter and joy. The children wanted me to come to their respective classrooms but I told them that I would be back the following Tuesday. They groaned. I laughed. And we left.

That day, our ride back to Managua was much lighter in spirit than it normally is. The majority of the time, we are making it at the end of a long, hot, challenging day when we are both drained of energy and patience and we’re ready for peace and quiet and a glass of ice water. That wasn’t the case at all that day. Of course, our time there was short and we weren’t teaching that day, but even if those were the reasons for such a show of affection, it was so wonderful to see the children again and to be greeted with such enthusiasm. Jim and I talked about how sad and heavy-hearted we were when we had to tell our grandchildren good-bye and yet, how two days later, God had replaced that heaviness with buoyant laughter. His gifts are good. Restore to me…

“You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness…” Psalm 30:11

The untimely good-bye...

Well, we arrived back here Tuesday night after a very sudden and sad good-bye at the Tulsa airport. When we were checking in, we met the most amazing Continental agent named David. As he checked us in, he asked if we would like to change our seats to a better arrangement. Of course, we said yes. He moved us to the bulkhead area on the flight from Tulsa to Houston and to an exit row on the flight from Houston to Managua. Both gave Jim more leg room which made for a much happier hubby on the flight back.

I told David that was our first time at the Tulsa airport and asked if it was okay for Mandy and Maddie to go with us upstairs. We had already been making small talk for a bit and he knew we were leaving our family to fly back to Nicaragua. He told me that he would write a pass for both Mandy and Maddie, who were out parking the van, so that they could accompany us through security and actually go to the gate with us and wait there with us for our flight.

Naturally, we were excited about such an unexpected blessing. While answering his questions for their passes, we found out David is actually from close to Diamond, MO (Redding’s Mill) which is not far from our neck of the woods. God was so good to give us a “home boy” to help us. Naturally, we laughed and chatted like old friends while David completed the paperwork. Of course, MO attitudes and hospitality as they are, we felt as though we had met a new friend. We sat outside of the security area for awhile and then decided to go ahead and get through that part of the process.

Jim went first, handing his passport and boarding pass to the TSA agent. I was right behind him with Mandy and Maddie following. We then were directed to the scanners where another TSA agent stood. Jim and I were busy preparing the laptops to go through the scanner, putting our carry-ons on to the belt, taking off our shoes, unpacking my quart-size bag filled with my lotions and gels, etc. I heard Mandy talking with the agent and turned to see if there was a problem with the permits.

I saw a perplexed and befuddled Maddie listening to the agent telling her she would have to throw away her brand-new, full sized body spritzer which she had in her new tote bag. Both were just purchased by me for her just a few days prior during a shopping trip which Maddie and I had taken together. Mandy and I both asked the agent if she could leave it there and pick it up when they came back through. The answer was a firm and impatient “no”. The look on Maddie’s face broke my heart.

Meanwhile, the line behind us was backing up with travelers impatient to get to where they were going. Jim was totally confused as to what was going on. I grabbed Maddie, hugged her and quickly kissed her. I then turned to Mandy and did the same thing, not ready to say good-bye and not ready to let go and at the same time, telling her to go ahead and go on home.
The hugs and kisses were too brief. I needed them to be longer…I knew they were going to have to last me until next year. But there wasn’t time. I want to say everything happened so fast that there wasn’t time for tears. That’s not true. The tears were instantaneous. I looked at Maddie hugging Jim and crying. Through my own tears, I saw the tears running down Mandy’s face. My heart hurt so much that I could feel it in my chest.

Due to the people accumulating behind us, I turned and moved toward the walk-through scanner. The TSA agent there, a young African American woman, had been watching everything. She was thinking that there was a problem with the man agent accepting their written passes. She told me that as long as they had their passes, they could come through. She told me to have them come see her. I told her that it was okay, that it was because Maddie had the body spray with her. She then said she was sorry and that by law, they couldn’t allow her to come through with it. I thanked her for her kindness and told her I understood, the whole time, standing there crying like a baby. She put her hand on my arm and apologized again. I think I sobbed at that point.

Jim and I got through the walk-through scanner, gathered our things and put our shoes back on. I turned to see if I could see Mandy and Maddie. I couldn’t. They were gone from our sight. Jim and I began our walk down toward our gate. I had to go in to the ladies’ room to get myself composed. I was crying so hard that I couldn’t see to keep walking. I just kept thinking that I wasn’t ready for this part. I wanted to hold them longer, hug them tighter, tell them just how very much I loved them and how very much I was going to miss them. I already did.

The next hour we did little talking. Every time I would think about the expressions on Maddie’s and Mandy’s faces, the ache in my chest would intensify and the tears would start up again. Jim has learned through the years that there are times I want to be comforted and times that it’s best to let me just be. His tender looks, his gentle touches and his sympathetic words served only to bring on a fresh wave of tears. This was a time I needed to just be still and to let God do the soothing.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. Jim enjoyed the extra leg room on the plane, as did I. Both flights went smoothly. We arrived in Managua shortly after 8:00 p.m. I was beat…part of that was just natural travel-tired but much of it was the exhaustion of spent emotion. Jim and I were standing in one of the extremely crowded and backed-up immigration lines…it seems that there were three other flights that had landed just shortly before we did. The customs area was wall to wall people. I felt someone touch my arm and I turned to see a beautiful young Nicaraguan woman in a TACA airlines uniform standing next to me. It took me a minute to realize it was our sweet young friend, Hazel…I had never seen her in her uniform before. What a wonderful surprise and what a much needed blessing! I think Hazel is always like an angel with skin on but that night, her presence was even more welcome.

It seems as though she had spoken sometime earlier with Susanna who had told her we would be flying in that night and she would be picking us up. Hazel had forgotten all about us coming in. She just “happened” to be downstairs walking through the customs area, although she normally works upstairs at the opposite end of the airport, and although she wasn’t looking for us at all, she “somehow” managed to see us in the sea of tired travelers, many of whom were white- faced Americans, just like us. I firmly believe God brought her to us that night.

We haven’t seen her since having dinner with her and her family in February so we had much to catch up on. It was a great way to pass the time waiting for our turn to get our documents checked to enter the country. We thought Hazel would leave us at that point to go back to work, but she walked with us to get our luggage from the baggage carousel. She then continued on with us to the customs area. We fully expected to have to have our luggage scanned and opened, which is quite typical now for Americans coming in to the country. Hazel and I continued to talk as Jim presented our documents to the lady customs agent. She asked what we were bringing in and Jim told her personal items. She looked at me and then at Hazel and waved us on through. I couldn’t believe it!

On the other side of the custom agent’s stand, we were met by Susanna where we all exchanged hugs and kisses. Right behind Susanna anxiously stood a handful of airport porters wanting to help us with our luggage. Hazel continued on outside with us as we waited on the curb for Susanna to bring our car to get us loaded up. The four porters, eager to help the arriving Americanos, each grabbed a piece of our fully-loaded luggage, ready to load it in whatever vehicle pulled up. We told them our friend (Susanna) had gone to get the car for us and that we were waiting there for her. All four men decided to wait with us…they didn’t want to forego the opportunity for a gringo tip. So there we all stood, friends and strangers, clustered together.

For the second time in one day, we were experiencing a chaotic situation at an airport. But this one we expected. Hazel and I continued to talk. We had decided it had been way too long since we had been able to sit and visit so we made plans to have her come and spend the afternoon with us next week. Our other curb companions, the porters, carried on their own conversations while we all waited for Susanna to pull up. We have always been treated well by the airport porters but they seemed to be especially helpful, cordial and respectful that night.

We had never gotten through the airport procedure and in to our vehicle so quickly before.
Even as tired as I was, I had the presence of mind to realize how easily the process had been. I believe it’s because God had given us our own uniformed airport angel to meet us that night and to help us get through the lines quickly and without any hassle. See, I really believe God cares about hurting hearts. I don’t for one moment think that it was just a coincidence that Hazel was there to help us get through the final leg of our draining day.

That night as I lay in bed, I thought about the events of the day. I had told several people during our stay in the States that I had thought it was going to be more difficult to leave our family (and friends) this time than ever before. I had no idea how prophetic those words would be. It was such a hard good-bye in Tulsa...one of the hardest I’ve had to say to date. It was too fast…I wasn’t ready, wasn’t prepared…I thought we would have a little bit more time. I didn’t know that it would end so abruptly. But isn’t that how so many good-byes happen? Unexpectedly. Unplanned. Painfully. And sadly, sometimes, finally.

I thought about how short our time is here on this earth with those we love. I also thought about how important it is that we say what needs to be said when we have the time to say it and not to put those things off, thinking we have more time. Sometimes we don’t. Whether it’s a TSA agent doing his job who is preventing us from having more time with our loved ones or whether it’s at the moment of someone’s expiration of their last breath, our good-byes are hard and they hurt, often they are untimely and unexpected.

I know that if something were to prevent us from seeing Mandy and Maddie again on this earth, we would be reunited with them someday in heaven. In spite of the sadness of our hurried and harried good-bye, there is comfort in that fact. I will be honest and say it took me all that day to hear the Comforter’s whisper of that reminder of truth in my ear, but God was faithful to not let me go to bed carrying a heavy burden of sadness. With all sincerity, I want to stress that is no small thing. That is peace of mind that will last me an eternity.

We have that assurance not because of any “good” thing we’ve done. We have that assurance because we have each recognized we are sinners in need of salvation. We have each repented of our sin, asking Jesus to forgive us and we have each accepted the sacrificial blood that sinless Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, shed on the cross for us. We each believe that He died, was buried and rose again on the third day. We have that assurance because we have asked Him to come and live in our hearts. We have accepted the living Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, the Master of our lives. We each have a personal relationship with Jesus which will last forever and because of that, we are also guaranteed a future together.

I pray you can say the same thing about your loved ones…about yourself. If not, you can change that, you need to change that, you must change that…but no one can change it for you. Please, don’t wait…you don’t know when the next good-bye is going to come.