The untimely good-bye...

Well, we arrived back here Tuesday night after a very sudden and sad good-bye at the Tulsa airport. When we were checking in, we met the most amazing Continental agent named David. As he checked us in, he asked if we would like to change our seats to a better arrangement. Of course, we said yes. He moved us to the bulkhead area on the flight from Tulsa to Houston and to an exit row on the flight from Houston to Managua. Both gave Jim more leg room which made for a much happier hubby on the flight back.

I told David that was our first time at the Tulsa airport and asked if it was okay for Mandy and Maddie to go with us upstairs. We had already been making small talk for a bit and he knew we were leaving our family to fly back to Nicaragua. He told me that he would write a pass for both Mandy and Maddie, who were out parking the van, so that they could accompany us through security and actually go to the gate with us and wait there with us for our flight.

Naturally, we were excited about such an unexpected blessing. While answering his questions for their passes, we found out David is actually from close to Diamond, MO (Redding’s Mill) which is not far from our neck of the woods. God was so good to give us a “home boy” to help us. Naturally, we laughed and chatted like old friends while David completed the paperwork. Of course, MO attitudes and hospitality as they are, we felt as though we had met a new friend. We sat outside of the security area for awhile and then decided to go ahead and get through that part of the process.

Jim went first, handing his passport and boarding pass to the TSA agent. I was right behind him with Mandy and Maddie following. We then were directed to the scanners where another TSA agent stood. Jim and I were busy preparing the laptops to go through the scanner, putting our carry-ons on to the belt, taking off our shoes, unpacking my quart-size bag filled with my lotions and gels, etc. I heard Mandy talking with the agent and turned to see if there was a problem with the permits.

I saw a perplexed and befuddled Maddie listening to the agent telling her she would have to throw away her brand-new, full sized body spritzer which she had in her new tote bag. Both were just purchased by me for her just a few days prior during a shopping trip which Maddie and I had taken together. Mandy and I both asked the agent if she could leave it there and pick it up when they came back through. The answer was a firm and impatient “no”. The look on Maddie’s face broke my heart.

Meanwhile, the line behind us was backing up with travelers impatient to get to where they were going. Jim was totally confused as to what was going on. I grabbed Maddie, hugged her and quickly kissed her. I then turned to Mandy and did the same thing, not ready to say good-bye and not ready to let go and at the same time, telling her to go ahead and go on home.
The hugs and kisses were too brief. I needed them to be longer…I knew they were going to have to last me until next year. But there wasn’t time. I want to say everything happened so fast that there wasn’t time for tears. That’s not true. The tears were instantaneous. I looked at Maddie hugging Jim and crying. Through my own tears, I saw the tears running down Mandy’s face. My heart hurt so much that I could feel it in my chest.

Due to the people accumulating behind us, I turned and moved toward the walk-through scanner. The TSA agent there, a young African American woman, had been watching everything. She was thinking that there was a problem with the man agent accepting their written passes. She told me that as long as they had their passes, they could come through. She told me to have them come see her. I told her that it was okay, that it was because Maddie had the body spray with her. She then said she was sorry and that by law, they couldn’t allow her to come through with it. I thanked her for her kindness and told her I understood, the whole time, standing there crying like a baby. She put her hand on my arm and apologized again. I think I sobbed at that point.

Jim and I got through the walk-through scanner, gathered our things and put our shoes back on. I turned to see if I could see Mandy and Maddie. I couldn’t. They were gone from our sight. Jim and I began our walk down toward our gate. I had to go in to the ladies’ room to get myself composed. I was crying so hard that I couldn’t see to keep walking. I just kept thinking that I wasn’t ready for this part. I wanted to hold them longer, hug them tighter, tell them just how very much I loved them and how very much I was going to miss them. I already did.

The next hour we did little talking. Every time I would think about the expressions on Maddie’s and Mandy’s faces, the ache in my chest would intensify and the tears would start up again. Jim has learned through the years that there are times I want to be comforted and times that it’s best to let me just be. His tender looks, his gentle touches and his sympathetic words served only to bring on a fresh wave of tears. This was a time I needed to just be still and to let God do the soothing.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. Jim enjoyed the extra leg room on the plane, as did I. Both flights went smoothly. We arrived in Managua shortly after 8:00 p.m. I was beat…part of that was just natural travel-tired but much of it was the exhaustion of spent emotion. Jim and I were standing in one of the extremely crowded and backed-up immigration lines…it seems that there were three other flights that had landed just shortly before we did. The customs area was wall to wall people. I felt someone touch my arm and I turned to see a beautiful young Nicaraguan woman in a TACA airlines uniform standing next to me. It took me a minute to realize it was our sweet young friend, Hazel…I had never seen her in her uniform before. What a wonderful surprise and what a much needed blessing! I think Hazel is always like an angel with skin on but that night, her presence was even more welcome.

It seems as though she had spoken sometime earlier with Susanna who had told her we would be flying in that night and she would be picking us up. Hazel had forgotten all about us coming in. She just “happened” to be downstairs walking through the customs area, although she normally works upstairs at the opposite end of the airport, and although she wasn’t looking for us at all, she “somehow” managed to see us in the sea of tired travelers, many of whom were white- faced Americans, just like us. I firmly believe God brought her to us that night.

We haven’t seen her since having dinner with her and her family in February so we had much to catch up on. It was a great way to pass the time waiting for our turn to get our documents checked to enter the country. We thought Hazel would leave us at that point to go back to work, but she walked with us to get our luggage from the baggage carousel. She then continued on with us to the customs area. We fully expected to have to have our luggage scanned and opened, which is quite typical now for Americans coming in to the country. Hazel and I continued to talk as Jim presented our documents to the lady customs agent. She asked what we were bringing in and Jim told her personal items. She looked at me and then at Hazel and waved us on through. I couldn’t believe it!

On the other side of the custom agent’s stand, we were met by Susanna where we all exchanged hugs and kisses. Right behind Susanna anxiously stood a handful of airport porters wanting to help us with our luggage. Hazel continued on outside with us as we waited on the curb for Susanna to bring our car to get us loaded up. The four porters, eager to help the arriving Americanos, each grabbed a piece of our fully-loaded luggage, ready to load it in whatever vehicle pulled up. We told them our friend (Susanna) had gone to get the car for us and that we were waiting there for her. All four men decided to wait with us…they didn’t want to forego the opportunity for a gringo tip. So there we all stood, friends and strangers, clustered together.

For the second time in one day, we were experiencing a chaotic situation at an airport. But this one we expected. Hazel and I continued to talk. We had decided it had been way too long since we had been able to sit and visit so we made plans to have her come and spend the afternoon with us next week. Our other curb companions, the porters, carried on their own conversations while we all waited for Susanna to pull up. We have always been treated well by the airport porters but they seemed to be especially helpful, cordial and respectful that night.

We had never gotten through the airport procedure and in to our vehicle so quickly before.
Even as tired as I was, I had the presence of mind to realize how easily the process had been. I believe it’s because God had given us our own uniformed airport angel to meet us that night and to help us get through the lines quickly and without any hassle. See, I really believe God cares about hurting hearts. I don’t for one moment think that it was just a coincidence that Hazel was there to help us get through the final leg of our draining day.

That night as I lay in bed, I thought about the events of the day. I had told several people during our stay in the States that I had thought it was going to be more difficult to leave our family (and friends) this time than ever before. I had no idea how prophetic those words would be. It was such a hard good-bye in Tulsa...one of the hardest I’ve had to say to date. It was too fast…I wasn’t ready, wasn’t prepared…I thought we would have a little bit more time. I didn’t know that it would end so abruptly. But isn’t that how so many good-byes happen? Unexpectedly. Unplanned. Painfully. And sadly, sometimes, finally.

I thought about how short our time is here on this earth with those we love. I also thought about how important it is that we say what needs to be said when we have the time to say it and not to put those things off, thinking we have more time. Sometimes we don’t. Whether it’s a TSA agent doing his job who is preventing us from having more time with our loved ones or whether it’s at the moment of someone’s expiration of their last breath, our good-byes are hard and they hurt, often they are untimely and unexpected.

I know that if something were to prevent us from seeing Mandy and Maddie again on this earth, we would be reunited with them someday in heaven. In spite of the sadness of our hurried and harried good-bye, there is comfort in that fact. I will be honest and say it took me all that day to hear the Comforter’s whisper of that reminder of truth in my ear, but God was faithful to not let me go to bed carrying a heavy burden of sadness. With all sincerity, I want to stress that is no small thing. That is peace of mind that will last me an eternity.

We have that assurance not because of any “good” thing we’ve done. We have that assurance because we have each recognized we are sinners in need of salvation. We have each repented of our sin, asking Jesus to forgive us and we have each accepted the sacrificial blood that sinless Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, shed on the cross for us. We each believe that He died, was buried and rose again on the third day. We have that assurance because we have asked Him to come and live in our hearts. We have accepted the living Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, the Master of our lives. We each have a personal relationship with Jesus which will last forever and because of that, we are also guaranteed a future together.

I pray you can say the same thing about your loved ones…about yourself. If not, you can change that, you need to change that, you must change that…but no one can change it for you. Please, don’t wait…you don’t know when the next good-bye is going to come.