Christmas 2009 Part 1

It's 9 days in to the New Year and I'm just now getting the first blog of 2010 written. Let me begin by saying I am sorry if I’ve caused undue concern with my atypical silence. You know there are silence-starved people in the world who would love to experience that from me! I think there were plenty of times through the years growing up when my mother would have loved for that to occur. Usually, when it did, it was due to a high fever or upset stomach. And I have been dealing with a sickness of late but the occasional gastric upset hasn’t been the cause for what has apparently been an unusually lengthy absence from the blog. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I’d written the last blog until it was recently brought to my attention by several folks. I suppose that’s one of the dangers of being so vocal…when I’m not, it causes some to worry about us and I certainly didn’t mean that to happen.

Saying we’ve been busy seems like such a trite answer. And in part, it’s true. But, I’ll ‘fess up and say I’ve also struggled with being tremendously homesick the last few months. Maybe it was the holidays, maybe it was missing our girls, our son-in-law and our grandkids so much, maybe it was just the fact that life here can wear on you…whatever the reason or compilation of reasons, it’s not an understatement to say that being here has been a very real and tiring battle lately. And apparently, when I get to that point of being really, really tired and feeling really, really pitiful about being so far away from those I love, I tend to retreat somewhat. Retreat – not resign. I usually don’t give up a fight easily and that stubborn streak that I’ve so often been accused of having has been a benefit in that regard.

But homesick or not, I realize that I still have a responsibility to all of you to keep you apprised of what’s been going on with our ministry…and yes, we have been busy! So, let’s get down to business, shall we?

As much fun as our first Christmas was here, our second one will hold its own special memories for us. Sadie, my youngest daughter, and Marc, her boyfriend, came to spend some time with us over the holiday. It was great getting to show them who, what and where occupy much of our time here. I am not sure what they expected to find when they arrived but there is no doubt this year was a Christmas holiday unlike any other either of them have ever had.

The day after their arrival, we had planned to just spend a quiet day at home and let them rest as Sadie had requested before their arrival. But by early afternoon, Sadie was ready to go meet Managua. We took them to Huembes, a local market which has a section designed for tourists and they did some shopping.

The next day was Christmas Eve. Jim and I had gone to the market a couple of days before to buy enough food for 5 families we knew were struggling. The families varied in size from 2 people up to 9 people. Each bag had enough beans, rice, sugar, salt, oatmeal, oil and tortilla flour for a week plus sardines, spaghetti, ketchup (what they use here for spaghetti sauce), matches, toilet paper, soap balls, Chiky’s (cookies), soup mix and a large bag or can of milk and a box of a type of corn starch if there was a baby or small child in the house.

We also had tins and boxes of cookies, small fruit baskets and bags of 12 apples to give plus toys for seven boys and girls varying in ages of 5 to 11. The cookies and fruit baskets went to our 3 regular cambistas…these are our moneychangers, Doña Blanca – the owner of a little fritanga (sidewalk café) that we sometimes eat at, the man who runs the fruit stand not far from our house, the director of the school in Los Cedros and her husband who is the pastor of one of the local churches there and Miguel’s mother and the night guard of our neighbor…he was so good to keep an eye on our place, as well. We also gave each of our regular carry out boys at the grocery store a 100 cordoba bill which they absolutely loved! One of the boys told me his wife was going to be so happy.

Freddy, Felix, Fernando and Margarita…the four who work for us…of course received their aguinaldo which is a month’s worth of wages that is required by law to be paid by December 10th on top of their regular wages. All appreciated it, there’s no doubt but Felix’s reaction was especially worth noting. He thanked us repeatedly and then told us that we are the first employer he’s ever had who has paid that to him. He said that we have treated him better than he has been treated at any other job. There was no doubt as to his surprise and gratitude at receiving what was legally his.

His favorite job had been working five years for a man from Spain, who was also supposed to be a Christian. Felix worked as the guard, gardener and all around handyman there. He and his family lived in a small little house on the property and Felix loved it. But he was always on call there and never really had any free time. He never received his holiday pay, vacation pay, sick time or aguinaldo in spite of the fact that all are mandatory by law and he probably would have stayed in that job if the man had not decided to return to Spain when Daniel Ortega was elected as president several years ago. Felix said he thanks God he works for us now.

I thought to myself how often we all are willing to settle for what is good in the eyes of man instead of seeking what is best in the eyes of God…and how we root ourselves in the familiar instead of being willing to trust God in stepping out in faith to the unknown. I’m glad Felix is with us now and I hope he is, too.

For Christmas, our employees also each received a Christmas bonus. This was just something we felt as though we wanted to do for them. They are loyal, hard-working and trustworthy and we are blessed to have them with us. Each of them received a box of cookies, a bag of apples (a huge luxury for them) and gift wrapped toys for their children. Again, that was very well-received by all.

Freddy and Margarita were appreciative but not necessarily surprised as they were with us at Christmas last year. But for Fernando, our night guard and Felix, they were extremely surprised. And once again, Felix was the one who touched us most with his words of thanks.
He was overcome with emotion and with tears in his eyes, told us that this was the first time in his 32 years of life that he had received anything for Christmas. Christmas presents were for other people. He said that he had never been able to buy presents for his boys and that he didn’t have enough words to thank us for such kindness that we were showing to them. A tear spilled over and Felix quickly wiped it away and that’s when mine began. I am always so deeply touched when I see such raw and honest emotion.

We are so blessed, folks. A man stood in front of me, literally crying out of gratitude for what he deemed as generosity and kindness on our part. Each time I think I can’t be more humbled for what we’ve seen and experienced, God shows me differently…and He also shows me how much selfishness I still clasp tightly to my heart. Being here is good for the soul, believe me. Not easy, but good.

Christmas Eve morning came and saw Jim and Marc starting to load the care with the food bags and gifts that we had to deliver that day. We had a lot of ground to cover, going from a town west of Managua to one east of it and so we hurried to get going. Our first stop was in Los Cedros. We ran by Pastora’s house and although she and Pastor Manuel weren't at home, we dropped off their fruit basket with their daughter and quickly showed Sadie and Marc around the school. It was closed as it’s their “summer vacation” right now but we were able to walk around the buildings and the kids got a good idea of the place.

Some of you may remember me telling you about Moses, the young man who helped the team from Cassville when they constructed Juan and Nohemi’s house. He, his wife Marissa and their baby were living in a very small building that belonged to Manuel Luis, the janitor at the school. Manuel Luis and his wife had allowed them to live there for free until Moses found work. The problem was it was three months later and Moses hadn’t found any work…based on some previous conversations with Moses, I’m not sure how much he was actively looking.

Manuel Luis and his wife had decided they wanted to try to open a little food shop in that building to supplement his income from the school. They asked Moses and his family to find another place to live. I’m not sure what exactly transpired from that point on other than Moses and his family were living in one of the buildings at the school and Manuel Luis was no longer working at the school. Without getting in the middle of all of that, I personally don’t think that any of those moves were necessarily the best ones that could have been made. But, they weren’t mine to make…thankfully.

We had prepared a bag for Moses and his family but they weren’t there. We found out that they had traveled up to Jinotega to spend the holidays with Marissa’s family. The family there would like for them to move back up there with them. That might be the best thing for them but we’ll see what happens.

After leaving the school, we went up to Juan & Nohemi’s new house to deliver their Christmas food bag. We had to park down at the bottom of the hill and walk up to their place. They live next door to Juan’s mother and she saw us as soon as we started up the hill. Of course, she called for Nohemi to come meet us and within seconds, Nohemi and little Juan David (3 years next month) stood at the edge of their yard, welcoming us to their home.

We went in and visited for a little bit. Juan David loved showing off for the new gringos who had come to see him and little Manuel Isaiah's expressions kept us all laughing. Nohemi was very happy to receive the bag of food and especially the can of milk we brought. She proudly showed her one room house to Sadie and Marc along with the things the church had given them, such as their table & chairs and bed. She explained to them that the outside kitchen was much better for the children than how she used to cook inside their little plastic wrapped lean-to. Evidently the new construction was so inspiring that Juan’s mother then had a little roofed area put up over her own outside cook-stove. Home improvements are contagious in any neighborhood.

After our visit to Nohemi, we then went to see Manuel Luis and his family. There are a total of 9 people who live in his small house…6 children and 1 grandson. Manuel Luis was the janitor at the school and I had four of his students in class. When we pulled up, although the door was open, there was a noticeable lack of activity around the house. I called out “Buenas”…a common “hello”. No answer. I then called out Talifer’s name…she was my little 3rd grader last year. She came running out and threw her arms around me. The other 3 kids followed. None were smiling and Talifer was hugging me tightly. When I asked her how she was, she told me, “Bad”. I asked her what was wrong and as she began telling me, her mother appeared.

It was obvious that she had been crying. She interrupted Talifer and asked if I would come in to the house and talk to Iris, the 16 year old. She told me that Iris and her father had a fight and that she had tried to cut her wrist with a knife. Of course, all the little ones were scared spitless. I hurried inside not at all sure what I would find. The mother took me back to a small room and there was Iris, laying across the bed and sobbing nonstop. When I called her name she continued to cry and kept her face covered. I sat down on her bed, began rubbing her back and continued to speak in a low, soothing tone to her…mostly in English as my Spanish is sorely lacking regarding how to deal with a hysterical sixteen year old.

I pulled Iris’s wrists toward me, she didn’t resist but kept her eyes clamped tightly shut. I saw nothing. Her mother had joined us by this time and she, too, was continuing to cry and gesture very dramatically, telling me how Iris just wanted to die and had cut herself with the knife. She told me that she and Manuel Luis had a terrible fight and that he had left. Iris refused to answer any of my questions.

I asked her mother to tell me again where Iris had cut herself as I thought I must have misunderstood her when she said the wrist. She answered that it was the wrists. So, once again, I pulled her wrists to me and upon closer examination in the dark, dingy room which was only big enough to hold the double bed, I saw a faint little scratch across one arm…the skin barely roughened and it certainly was not broken anywhere. A very dull and well worn table knife was on the corner of the bed.

It was hot in the room and Talifer and her little sister, Genesis, kept peeking around the curtain in to the room to see if Iris was indeed dying. I decided that the scene had gone on long enough. I called each of the girls in, hugged them and gave them each a kiss. I told them that Iris was fine and was just upset. I also told them that their father loved each one of them very much and that I did, too. I then shooed them out to the front room with Jim.

I told the mother that Iris was going to be fine and then I told Iris that I was there to help her if I could but I couldn’t do that unless she talked to me and would tell me why she was so upset that she felt she had to scare the rest of the family. No response. I asked the mother where Manuel Luis was and she told me he had left to go to Managua to try to find work. I told Iris that if she wasn’t going to talk to me then there was no point in me being in there with her. That seemed to stop the constant sobbing almost instantly.

Iris told me that she and her father had argued over a class she wanted to take this next year in school. She was going to need to use a computer to do the work for it. A computer. This family can’t even afford enough food to feed the children lunch on a daily basis…there was no food in the house when we arrived…finding a computer to use should be way down on the list of worries for them. Her mother told me the children hadn’t eaten any lunch for the last 5 days and that Manuel Luis had not eaten any for the last 7. No wonder the computer issue was not a high priority on Manuel Luis’s list. But then, I don’t suppose a 16 year old girl intuitively understands that. Her world is very small and she is the nucleus of it.

I didn’t understand everything that was being said but I did ask some very pointed questions and was relieved to hear that there had not been any hitting. I don’t know that I would have been surprised if there had been but I would have been greatly saddened. I told Iris that I was sorry that she and her father had argued and that I could see that the entire family was upset. I also told her that her father had a lot of pressure on him trying to feed the family and since he no longer had any work, it was very difficult for him. I told her that maybe a computer wasn’t as important as some other things were right then.

She nodded her head and said she didn’t think that her father wanted her in the house anymore. I told her he was only frustrated and angry, more at their financial situation than with her and that we would pray right then that when he returned home that he would have found a job and that he would enter into a house of peace, that his heart would be softened and that God would give her the words to speak to him. I reminded her that the next day was Christmas and that was to be a day of peace and love and a day to remember that God gave us His son, Jesus on that day. She only nodded. I took hold of her hand and began praying out loud in English. She began to cry again, only this time, it was a softer, quieter cry, not the earlier melodramatic sobbing.

I could faintly hear Jim, Sadie and Marc entertaining and being entertained by the other kids in the front room. It was good to hear the kids laughing when just moments earlier, they were so solemn and scared. It all seemed kind of surreal and yet, I had a feeling it was something that not only was it very real but also fairly common in that family.

Iris wouldn’t come in to the front room with us. She was embarrassed. I gave her a hug and kiss and told her I loved her and would continue to pray for her. I asked her if she would give me a smile for my Christmas present and she flashed a beautiful smile. Her mother then came in with a stack of photos to share with me. So we sat on the bed and went through all the pictures they had. Of course, I had a comment for each picture. By the time we were through, Iris was smiling without being coaxed. It was time to go…I was ready. I was hot, sweaty and drained. I don’t care for soap operas on television or in real life.

As we left the bedroom, I put some money in to the hand of the mother and told her I wanted her to send one of the children to buy chicken for the family. I told her we had brought food for them but that since the next day was Christmas, they needed to have chicken so they could have a special meal. She hugged me tightly and thanked me and then turned to also thank Jim, Sadie and Marc for the food. The kids were all smiles at that point…they remembered that we had brought food!
The children all gave hugs and kisses as we got ready to leave. Of course, there had to be pictures taken. Iris wouldn't come out of her room but the kids apparently were through, at least for the moment, of allowing her to ruin their day...there was a camera to pose for and the earlier drama didn't seem to dampen the spirits for a photo-op! Even Mom was all smiles!

There was a small papaya sitting outside on their wash table…the only sign of food we had seen and as we were leaving, Talifer ran back to the wash table, picked it up and ran up to give it to me. It broke my heart to take it but it would have broken theirs if I hadn’t. I hugged her tightly and thanked her for such a wonderful gift. I told her I didn’t have a papaya at home and that one was perfect. Her smile couldn’t have gotten any bigger.

And then we left. That seems so anticlimactic but it’s what happened. It was well past noon...we headed back towards Managua on our way to Tipitapa. There was still a lot more Christmas to deliver!