Today in Tipitapa...

Today was Tipitapa Day. This was our first time to have English class and Bible study since before the FBC team came. The first two Saturdays we didn’t have class because of time devoted to the team and last Saturday, they had class without us. We were having issues in the neighborhood again and felt it unwise to leave the house unprotected. So, it felt good to be back in Tipitapa again and it was great to see those students who came today.

We only had 10 students today including a new woman student. This is the least we’ve ever had but we did have some stiff competition. There was a huge political rally/party being held just a few blocks from where we were and the students said much of the class had gone to that. Can’t understand why anyone would rather go to a government sponsored fiesta with speeches, food, music and dance (plus plenty of alcohol, I’m sure) when they could have been with us studying verb conjugations! Oh, well…maybe we’ll see those missing students next week.

Jim’s lesson today was about Jesus asking the man lying on the mat if he wanted to be made well. In the middle of his lesson, he asked the question of how do we get to heaven. No one answered. So, I asked the group a Good News question…”If you died today, how do you know you would go to heaven?” One of the young women immediately answered that if she died today but had done good things, she would go to heaven but if she died today and had done bad things, then she wouldn’t. Jim and I looked at each other. No one seemed to protest the answer.

I asked God to gift me with the language just long enough to share the truth with this young gal. I asked the group if they remembered the two men who hung on the crosses on either side of Jesus when he was crucified. Of course, they all did. I reminded them that they were both ladrones…thieves. They nodded their head in agreement. I also reminded them that right before they died that one man accepted Jesus as his Messiah and the other rejected Him. They both had done bad things. The one who accepted Jesus as Lord went to heaven that day but the other one who rejected Him as Lord did not. Jim and I then explained that Jesus already did the work that it takes for us to get to heaven and that none of our works could ever be good enough to get us there. Again, nods of agreement. We continued on for a few minutes reiterating the fallacy of works based beliefs. More nods.

I don’t know that anyone really had the necessary ah-ha moment of what Jesus dying on the cross really means, but I do know that we will continue to pray for this class. They are like so many “Christians” here who give works based answers. I feel sad that they live in fear of never being good enough and that they are missing the greatest relationship in their life. On the way home, we discussed how God opened the door to address that wrong thinking in a loving and gentle way and that maybe today will be the first of other doors being opened to engage them in conversation about Truth.

After class, we got to spend some time with Danelia and the kids plus Miguel and Elizabeth. Kenneth was feeling pretty good and couldn’t give or get enough hugs. He sat on the arm of my plastic chair and Lindsay was on the other side…pulling on my hoop earring. That seems to be a favorite thing for her to do. Finally, I had to tell her that it was part of my ear and she was going to pull it off! She laughed…not an ounce of compassion in that little one! She is so fun, though…

It couldn’t have been comfortable for Kenneth to sit on that arm of the chair but I had paperwork in my lap and he wasn’t willing to sit anywhere else. Not even after a bird right above us deposited the most unappreciated little gift in my lap – just missing the notebook I held! Kenneth and I looked at each other and we both laughed. He took the rag Elizabeth was using to wipe her face and gave it to me to clean my hand and lap. He continued to laugh periodically. It was so good to hear him laugh…I would let that bird have at it if it would make Kenneth happy.

After awhile, Danelia sent him off to go talk to his grandmother. He wasn’t happy about going, but he did. I asked her what the doctor said this week. She told me that one doctor wanted to go ahead and continue with a type of IV chemo. But the head doctor said he disagreed with the treatment because each time Kenneth took it, it was causing more damage to his heart and that it was stressing his other organs. He had another pretty serious episode of tachycardia the last time they began a round of this chemo. This doctor told her that if they continued, that Kenneth most certainly would die of heart complications long before the cancer took him. The doctor told her it was dangerous to continue.

During the consultation with the doctors this week, Danelia told the head doctor that she was praying that God would heal Kenneth and that she had American friends who were praying also. The doctor told her he didn’t believe in God. She was shaken by that. The doctor said she needed to make a decision as to how she wanted them to treat Kenneth. He told her that his suggestion was to keep him on medication and to discontinue any IV treatments but the decision was hers. She said she wanted to talk to me first. I felt sick when she told me that. I told her that it wasn’t my decision to make, that it was her family’s decision after talking with the doctors. She said she wanted to hear what I had to say and that she trusted me.

I didn’t know what to say. I told her I couldn’t make that decision. She asked me again what I thought about the IV chemo. I asked her if it was helping at all. She said the head doctor said it was no longer helping but now, was harming him. The other doctor said it might give him a little more time but agreed it was very hard on Kenneth’s system and that he was suffering complications from taking it. Both reiterated that it would not cure him. She has continued to give him the medication but opted not to give him the IV chemo this week. She can choose to take him back next week to start him back on it if she wants.

She waited while I searched for the right words. I told her I did believe in God and that I believed He was in control. I asked her how Kenneth has been this last week or so. She said he has felt better and that his pain has decreased. She said she still has morphine tablets for him but he hasn’t had to take it nearly as much as before and that he hadn’t had any pain at all the last few days. She said he seemed to be much happier this past week.

I asked her if he was eating. She said his appetite has come back and that he has seemed a bit stronger. I had to agree that he seemed to be not only in good spirits today but also, seemed stronger in his mobility and his demeanor and that he looked good today. I tried to think of another question to ask.

She asked me again what I thought. I took a deep breath and told her that if the IV chemo was causing possibly irreparable damage to Kenneth’s organs and was not helping then I couldn’t see how it was beneficial to him. I told her that if the doctor felt like it was detrimental to him that I would have to agree. I said this last part almost as a whisper…I’m always quick to share my opinion...oftentimes, too quick. But the reality of the consequences of this opinion loomed large. I was scared to say it but I was honest in my opinion.

Danelia smiled and looked relieved. That was the decision she and Arturo had made and she was glad that I agreed. I smiled in return and I’m sure I must have looked just as relieved as she did. She and Arturo had already made a decision. They were trying to protect Kenneth as much as they could and they had decided to just continue with the pills and not to do the IV chemo. My opinion was just that…my opinion. Thank you, Lord. The weight of that burden was huge on my shoulders for the few minutes I carried it. My heart filled with compassion as I realized that she and Arturo carried that burden, only much heavier, with every decision they have had to make regarding Kenneth’s care.

I told her God is Kenneth’s creator and that He knows Kenneth’s body and all that is going on with it. I said that I thought the doctors now were doing all that they could do but that they are not God. And God has a plan that we may not understand. She agreed and she asked if we would keep praying. I hugged her tightly and assured her we would and told her we loved Kenneth very much. She solemnly nodded her head and said she knew that. I also told her that we had many friends across the United States who were also praying for Kenneth. She knows that, too and she said that brings her great comfort.

It was time for us to go. As we walked to the car, Kenneth appeared from around the corner to give us our good-bye hugs and kisses. He had been listening. Our eyes met. I winked at him and he smiled back. I was struck by how wise those big brown eyes looked above that ever-present mask of his. Kenneth knows. He knows he has a terrible disease and he knows that the doctors have said that the medicine won’t work anymore. He knows that this disease and these doctors make his mother cry endless tears and his father rage at an invisible enemy. He knows that he didn’t have to get poked and prodded this week with injections and IVs. He knows that means he didn’t spend the last few days throwing up and being flat on his back. He knows he feels better right now. He knows he’s hungry every day again and he knows that his mom makes the best rice and beans. He knows that it’s funny when a bird drops a little bomb on his special friend and that she thinks it’s okay if he laughs. He knows that he felt like laughing. He is old enough to know he has today and that’s enough and he knows that he’s too young to worry about tomorrow. And he knows Jesus. We should all be as wise as Kenneth.