Finally...yet again!

I’ve come to the conclusion that I will never get caught up…and that I will never catch the rest of you up with all that happens in our days here.  I have wondered why it used to be so much easier for me to make the time to sit down and write.  I decided that was before we found ourselves “working” seven days a week!  I’ve also decided that we’ve allowed ourselves to get bogged down in all that we’re doing to the point that we’re facing some serious burnout.  What that means is that we’ve more than likely taken on more than what God told us to take on or in ways that He had never intended.  That’s wrong, as well as exhausting. 

First of all…Happy Anniversary to us!  We’ve been here three years now!  In some respects, the time has flown by…in others, I wonder if Jesus would be willing to move the date up on His return!  Have we acclimated?  For the most part.  Does this feel like home?  As much as any place can feel like home for people who don’t feel like they have one anymore.  Are we fluent in Spanish?  Not even close!  Are we glad we’re here?  Most days.  Has our ministry turned out the way we had envisioned?  Another not even close!  Do we still struggle?  Every day in one way or another.  Has it been worth it?  Only Jesus can answer that…we belong to Him.  What are we doing now?  Holding on. 

Mondays through Fridays (and sometimes, Saturday and/or Sunday afternoons), we can usually be found at CINAFE, the child protection center that we are currently volunteering at in the position of overseers.  It has to be one of the most taxing and tiring things we’ve done since arriving here three years ago…and that’s saying a lot considering I thought teaching at Los Cedros was going to lead to my early demise!

We have seen some amazing changes in the 15 children who currently live there.  One of the girls who was a master of manipulation when we first arrived has undergone a remarkable transformation.  She is hungry to know more and more about Jesus.  She is quick to help and has taken on the role of mentor to some of the littlest ones there at CINAFE.  She is a good student and has been demonstrating her natural leadership qualities.  She still makes some poor decisions and did so again recently, but for the first time ever, she has shown some genuine remorse for her behavior.  That’s a pretty big step for her. 

Another young girl would not allow any physical touch from us.  I could not put my arm around her or touch her shoulder when we first arrived.  Now, she almost knocks us over to give us her after-school hugs.  She will come in the office and just sit and talk…about her day, about her family, about school and best of all, about God.  She has memorized numerous scriptures and she is now starting to understand that although knowing God’s Word is wonderful to know, He expects us to put in to practice what we’ve learned.  That’s a harder lesson to learn…but isn’t it for all of us?

We are now entering a dangerous time at CINAFE…about 1/2 of our children are now 12 and older.  That means that there is a constant surge of hormones happening at any given time which only adds to the unpredictability of life there.  If that weren’t challenging enough, we also have staff issues, government regulations, upcoming presidential elections and all that entails, constant maintenance issues and rising prices.  We feel we are in a precarious position of trying to manage CINAFE in a way that honors God and meets the expectations of the organization’s ministerial board while trying to keep our employees in a state of satisfaction plus parenting 15 kids in a Christian manner in a culture that is so different from our own.  I’m sure it would be easier if we were 30 years young…we’re not!

There are days that we don’t get home until 8:00 at night.  We’ll have staff problems or problems with the children which makes it feel more like midnight when we’re leaving or we will have kids who just need some personal attention.  They know that we start trying to leave between 5:00 and 6:00 and somehow, that seems to be the exact time that one of them wants to talk, or they want to play volleyball or handgames or just hang on us for awhile.  Somehow, they don’t understand that we’re not 30 years younger so there are many nights that we go home with achy muscles or bruises or dirty handprints on what had been a relatively clean shirt…but we also go home those nights with smiles on our tired, line-etched faces and in our uplifted hearts.  Those nights are much more frequent now than they were a year ago which is a blessing…but it is also very tiring!

We have been able to implement some different programs for the children there and hopefully, these will grow in to something that will help contribute to a brighter future for these kids.  We now have a general scholarship fund set up for the children so that those who seek to further their education after secondary school (that’s like our high school) can have the opportunity to do so.  This fund is to be used for either college or a type of vocational training and we’re praying that this will someday be utilized by all of our children.  The need for a good education is so important if these kids hope to have a better life than the one they knew before they came to us.   

We also now have three treadle sewing machines that were donated by the Kenmore Kiwanis group from Ohio.  We have hired a woman who teaches sewing to come in twice a week to teach the older children how to use the machines so that they will all have learned a basic skill.  Although some of the girls aren’t too crazy about learning this craft, others are demonstrating a real talent which is very exciting to see.  This class is building such self-confidence in some of our girls who have really struggled in this area so we have already considered this program a success.

Another venture has been teaching a class in jewelry making.  That one hasn’t taken off as we had hoped but mainly because our accessibility to affordable quality materials is pretty limited.  We are going to continue to pursue this but are in the process of trying to tweak the program so that the few who show some real promise in this craft, can continue to progress.

One of my favorite programs that we now have going, is the weekly Bible study and discipleship program we now have in place.  We have a local church who sends several young women over every week to work with the kids through songs, stories and lessons.  We have seen some real spiritual growth happening in several of our older girls and that has been so encouraging.

Soon, we will be having Jillian Hoover with us for a month and she is going to help us with a brief music program for the kids.  Jillian is from our home church and we are looking forward to seeing God use her musical talent to minister to these children.  We want the kids to learn how to read music and play the recorder.  We also recently bought a small used Casio keyboard which we are hoping to be able to incorporate in these lessons and we are currently looking for a guitar teacher for our 12 year old boy who loves to strum it and play around with chords.  We will also be having a friend of Jillian’s visit with us for a few weeks.  Crystal Odell also loves music so we’re expecting lots of harmonious sounds to emanate from our munchkins there at CINAFE!

Okay…that’s our update on CINAFE.  Now on to Tipitapa and Rayitas de Luz.  Saturdays are full days for us there.  We have our adult English class which last for 2 – 2 ½ hours in the mornings.  The class has dwindled down to about a solid dozen students.  And out of that dozen, about ½ of them are serious about learning English and those six make Saturday mornings worth the sacrifice of our 1 day a week of sleeping in. 

After class, we eat a quick lunch that Danelia and Arturo have prepared for us and then we’re back in the hot classroom to take on the 20+ kids who come every Saturday afternoon for their English class.  Those kids energize me, that’s for sure…at least for that hour or so because I’m always drained on the way back to Managua! 

Last week, we had a special activity for the parents of the children and had about 30 parents show up.  Danelia, Anibal (Danelia’s brother) and I each presented an aspect of parenting.  My talk was the last and although it was short, my focus in my pitiful Spanish was the importance of giving God first place in the marriage.  I hadn’t planned on a question and answer session afterwards but a man stood up and asked if Jim and I argued and how we settled them. 

I had to laugh when he asked me and I quickly assured him that we most certainly had disagreements and that we were two very different people in our personalities and our mannerisms which often presented a challenge when we were on opposite ends of something.  Everyone laughed as many of them already knew us.  I also told them that even when I didn’t feel like it, I try to defer to Jim as God has placed him as the spiritual head of our family.  I realized I had been given an opportunity to keep sharing about the difference between a God-centered marriage and a me-centered marriage and so I jumped on that.  Jim also spoke up and shared a little bit as well.  We all felt the program went very well.

We then had a drawing for three prizes that Jim and I provided.  We chose household items that any family could use…2 towels and 2 washcloths, a small pitcher with six plastic glasses and three packets of juice mix and finally, three plastic containers which held a can opener, a scrubby sponge and 4 rolls of dishwashing paste.  We also provided the refreshments of cake and soda.  It was such a festive time and the parents were so great.  

We were really surprised and pleased by the turnout but then, God had yet another surprise for us.  Three different couples approached Danelia after the program and told her that they decided they would like to be married and wanted to know if we would let them use the school.  When Danelia told me that, I was speechless.  Finally, I asked her what prompted that and she said she didn’t know but that’s what they wanted.

We discussed it at length and the only stipulation we put on the use of the building for their weddings was that they would have to counsel with a pastor before the wedding and have a pastor be a part of the ceremony.  There are two types of wedding services here, a religious service and a civil service.  A church or religious wedding is not considered a legal marriage in Nicaragua.  A legal marriage is done by a lawyer and the cost for the paperwork is minimal.  A religious wedding is recognized only by the church as a valid marriage.  So, we’re asking the couples to “marry” the two services so that they will have a marriage that is acknowledged by both the law and the church.  We’re excited to see how this progresses and the impact it will have in the community.

The other use for the building is now in the preliminary planning stages.  Beginning in June, Danelia is going to start offering a children’s Sunday School class on Sunday mornings.  There have already been quite a few parents who have said they would like to send their children to the class and she is estimating about 20 children who want to come. 

Kenneth’s health continues to decline.  His legs are so thin now as the muscles have atrophied and his arms are no longer strong like they once were.  The doctor at La Mascota, the children’s hospital, has upped his pain medicine now to every six hours.  Last Friday, we all felt sucker-punched when one of the pediatric oncologists told us that he not only thinks the tumor in the chest is growing, he also indicated he thinks the cancer may have spread to the brain. 

I’m not accepting that diagnosis yet as the doctor is basing it on the past history of another patient and the fact that Kenneth’s white cell count was highly elevated.  But there have been no other tests to confirm that so we’re praying against that diagnosis.  I am not at all a fan of how medicine is done here and what confidence I did have has waned considerably with that kind of doctoring. 

Although Kenneth is declining physically, his attitude has never been better.   He is eating again and when the pain medication is doing its job, he’s full of smiles and jabbers like a magpie.  He loves to play games and his newest favorite thing to do while we sit in the waiting area at the hospital are hidden object puzzles.  I have a big book of these kinds of puzzles and he loves finding something before Jim or I do.  Cancer may be taking a terrible toll on his body but it hasn’t dampened his competitive spirit one iota!  The kid is brutal! 

I make light of this because that’s how we are getting through this right now.  Every visit to La Mascota is torture for me…and I’m not the one getting stuck with needles and poked and prodded in all the painful places every two weeks.  But I am the one who sees the babies with huge protruding tumors over the eyes, toddlers with horribly extended misshapen bellies due to inoperable tumors, young girls and boys hopping around on one leg due to amputations from bone cancer, children who look more like stick figures than human beings who are so weak that their coughs sound like strangled mews thanks to the lung cancers from which they suffer…these visits almost always bring tears to my eyes and sometimes, I can’t hold those tears back.  I look around at all the children that we see each visit (there is an average of more than 70 children treated each day as outpatients in the cancer ward) and my heart literally hurts at their suffering.  Kenneth just sees new friends with whom to share his puzzles or toys.

One day, I think Kenneth sensed what I was thinking as I sat and looked around.  He never said a word but just took my hand and squeezed it as if to reassure me that everything was going to be okay…it was as though our roles reversed for a moment.  I sat and stared at him and was horrified at the thought that as much as I hate those hospital visits, I am going to be devastated if the day comes (and the doctors are all sure it will come), that there will no longer be a need for us to be there because Kenneth will have received his ultimate and eternal healing.  On that day, his pain will have ended but I’m afraid ours will continue for some time.  And I’m so selfish in this…Kenneth has become such a part of our lives here.  He’s more than a little boy with cancer…he’s a little boy whom we dearly love.  Please continue to pray for him. 

Now going south from Managua is our newest ministry venture.  I think I told you about Mercy Plate Ministries?  I will explain in case I haven’t and if I have…consider it a quick review!  It is a fledgling feeding program for the elderly in a community called Vera Cruz which is south of Managua…and no, Vera Cruz is not close to our home either!  It is run by a wonderful Nicaraguan Christian couple who are from the Atlantic Coast.  Due to scheduling conflicts with our time in Tipitapa, we are currently unable to be present to help Segard and Elsie with the actual serving of the food but we have been helping financially and encouraging them with prayers and advice.

We have been able to bless Mercy Plate with some games, dishes, silverware, food and today, we took a load of donated clothes and shoes down for Elsie to hand out on Saturday.  The program is growing so fast.  A few months ago, Elsie started out with about 9 seniors who came for her first Saturday evening meal.  Now, they’re up to about 50 on the roster.  She not only gives them a good hot nutritious meal, she also does blood pressure checks and offers them a time of fellowship. 

We’re working on trying to figure out a way to do a home delivery system once a week for those that are homebound so that we can get to know them and their families and begin building relationships with them.  So many do not know Jesus and we know time is so short for a great many of them.

Our “big dream” for them is to build a covered outside eating area so that the rainy season will not keep them from coming.  There is an enclosed building they can meet in but it’s hot and they love being outside.  We want to get some plastic tables and enough chairs for everyone.  Those are big dreams but Segard, Elsie, Jim and I all serve the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills.  The project of building a simple rancho and some plastic chairs may look like a huge project to us…but we trust God to provide in His time.

Segard told us that many of the elderly in that community are skeptical of gringos coming in there as they associate so many of us with the Iran-Contra War so we have some hurdles to cross but we believe God has opened a door for us there and we don’t want to not step through it.  There is an uneasy dance with the churches in the community as they’re fearful of Segard wanting to start a “competitive” church.  Segard assured them that is not his intention but we all agree that we want to share Jesus with them.  Segard and Elsie are more about the service aspect whereas Jim and I want to be able to visit with the folks and find out where they are spiritually.  We’re also trusting God to provide us with that opportunity in His time. 

So, that’s a quick general overall snapshot of what we’re doing with our current ministries.  Before I end this I will tell you that this past year has been the most difficult year for me (and I would assume for Jim) for some time.  We will be coming back to the States in August and we’ve decided to stay for a couple of months this time.  We need some rest and we need to hear clearly from God what direction He wants us to go.  I am confident it will be to return here…I’m just not confident in what capacity.   We have many questions that we are laying before the Lord right now and we just want to be obedient to Him in our every response.  Thank you for your continued prayers, words of encouragement and support.  You are so precious to us.