A Kodak moment...

Oh, my goodness…I wish I had pictures for this one – but I don’t. I wasn’t even thinking about pictures at the time, to be honest. I think I was just too caught up in the moment. Maybe one of these days, I’ll be able to take a picture and post it although it will never give you that “Kodak” moment.

“What? What? What are you talking about?” I can just hear it now…’cause that’s what I would be doing if I were on the other end of this. Actually, I would be saying, “There she goes being all fragmented again and has forgotten to even tell us what she’s talking about!”

Well, let me take you back a little bit. Some of you may remember that Danelia was a teacher before Kenneth became ill. Her income was so important to the family but she knew that she had to make the decision to stay home to take care of him. The family always struggled but with their income cut in half, what were tiresome struggles have become terrible battles with the family often on the losing end.

At one point, Danelia had borrowed money to help make ends meet. I wrote about that situation a few months ago. But Danelia knew that borrowing money was only a temporary fix. We have spoken several times in the past about how she might be able to earn some money while staying at home. Her options are limited both by her physical location and home environment coupled with the restraints brought on with having a seriously ill child whose care fluctuates from day to day.

I asked her one day about sewing. Her face lit up. She said it was something she would like to do but she didn’t have a machine and she didn’t know how to sew that well. She has a sister, who makes a living as a seamstress and Danelia said that Melva could teach her but she didn’t know how it would do any good…a sewing machine is a luxury that we both knew she would never have. And although electric sewing machines are available here, the power is out every day in Tipitapa so if she were to get one, a manual machine would definitely be better.

I asked her if there was a place that would be close by for her to buy material, thread, etc. She said that it is expensive to take the bus to Managua but it would be worth it as she could buy those things at the Oriental Market (that’s the one we don’t go in to!) so much cheaper and that they have a much better selection at all the stands.

Our conversation drifted on to other things but it’s one that we have visited several times. God just kept putting it on my heart that this might be a way that Danelia could make some money while still being able to stay at home and take care of Kenneth but for whatever reason, I just didn’t feel that it was God’s time yet to do so. I didn’t understand why as I was ready to do it, but I am far too aware of that check in my spirit when God tells me to hold on to my horses.

Life has a way of moving on and my attention shifted back to trying to obtain the chemo drug that the new oncologist was recommending for Kenneth. It was a road I had traveled before – ups and downs, encouraging words and then discouraging news…such a roller coaster of emotions. I won’t detail all of this last round other than to say that Kenneth is at a point where his body won’t tolerate any more of the chemo – each round is causing more and more heart damage and the doctors have advised no more. We had heard that before only for another oncologist to say, "Let's try this one...". Danelia said this time there would be no more trying.

The day I got that news was one of the hardest I’ve had here. We had found out the cost of buying the cancer drug in the U.S. which was $4,800 for 100 tabs. I was devastated. Not only did I think that was something we were not going to be able to do, I thought it was just plain immoral to charge such an exorbitant amount and I was informed this drug has been out on the market for some time – it’s not like it’s a new discovery. Let me make this absolutely clear…this was being able to purchase it at cost from our pharmacist in the States…this ridiculous amount was not his doing at all. That’s what the drug companies charge.

I had also been researching buying the drug over the internet and found it in a generic form from Canada…for less than $3.00 per tablet. True it is manufactured in various parts of Asia and I would wonder about the quality of it but I find such a huge disparity in pricing very revealing and the only thing I can attribute that to is nothing more than pure, unadulterated greed. It would also be a good time to say my father was a pharmacist and I’ve always had the utmost respect for that aspect of the medical world but I’m having a hard time swallowing a $4800 price tag for this drug.

So, why didn’t I order it from Canada? Two reasons – the first being it’s against the law to import the drug to the U.S. and secondly, because it is manufactured in Asia, it does not have the same stringent standards applied to it as it would if it were manufactured in the U.S. It would be a gamble even if it were legal to bring it in. Either way, the door was closed on obtaining the cancer drug. I was just sick. How was I going to tell Danelia that I couldn’t get the cancer drug that might extend Kenneth’s life? I didn’t know what to do. And when I don’t know what to do (which seems to be more and more of a frequent occurrence), I pray. So, I prayed. I asked God to give me the right words – I didn’t know what else to ask for.

The day I had to go tell Danelia that I couldn’t get the drug, I received a phone call from a sweet sister in Christ. She told me that my old SS class had been taking up a collection and had an extremely generous amount to give to us to use as we saw fit. My first thought was that I could apply that to the cancer drug from the States and hopefully, be able to collect the other half by the time Sadie came in December – she was going to be my “drug-runner” and bring it down to me.

I started to talk to Danelia before our English class and when I told her how much the drug cost, she just held up a hand and told me to stop. She told me she wanted to talk to me after class as she had something to tell me. I agreed and we met again after class. Danelia then told me that the doctor had said that it was too hard on Kenneth to continue with the chemo. He felt it would be more imminently dangerous to proceed with the new drug than to go without the chemo. He said that he would rather see Danelia concentrate on Kenneth’s nutrition.

I didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, I was relieved that the door to buying the chemo drug was closed as I wasn't sure what to do – and on the other hand, I was profoundly saddened that the door to buying the chemo drug was closed – again. Danelia and I discussed again one of previous conversations - the importance of Kenneth having as much quality to his life as possible and trying to maintain as much normalcy in their daily lives as was feasible. Danelia agreed...they needed some normalcy.

Recently, Lindsay has been complaining of a pain in her chest. Of course, Danelia was fearing yet another terrible thing was about to strike their family and she took Lindsay to the hospital. After checking her over, the doctor there told her that he thought it was the only way that Lindsay could verbalize what she was feeling about the upheaval Kenneth's disease had thrown them all in to...her chest hurt because she was afraid, her heart was hurting for what was happening to her best friend, her brother and she didn't understand any of it. I understood completely...I just have a few more words in my vocabulary than that precious little four year-old so it's easier for me to verbalize my feelings. Yes, they need some normalcy.

Danelia told me that the church was going to be doing some kind of project to raise money and that she would be receiving some of that. She asked if I would be willing to loan her 200 cordobas (about $10.00) so that she could buy some fresh fruits and vegetables. I told her that I would be happy to be able to help with that need and that I would like for her to buy some chicken, as well. She slowly nodded her head. I could tell she was mentally trying to calculate what fruits and vegetables she would have to sacrifice in order to buy the chicken. And I knew she would buy the chicken because I had asked her to do so.

Jim and I had stopped at the moneychangers that morning so I had some extra cash on me. I reached in my purse and pulled out some money. It was more than what she had asked for. I told Danelia that since we wouldn’t be back for two weeks that hopefully, that would help out with what she needed. She assured me it was more than enough.

As a side note…Jim is at a men’s retreat for three days this weekend so we won’t go back to Tipitapa until next weekend. Although I’m getting a bit braver about driving here, I’m not ready to tackle driving to Tipitapa by myself. So, yes…I’m home alone! Well, not really…Felix & Fernando are both stretching their shifts to make sure that I’m not here alone so Xander the Wonder Dog and I are well protected!

On the way home from Tipitapa, Jim and I discussed going ahead and getting a sewing machine for Danelia. We both felt that God had said the time had come to do that. We had done some window shopping and price checking last month and I had already picked out the machine I wanted to get her. So, Wednesday, we got our errands all done and then headed over to the store to get the machine.

I was so excited! Even the sound of home-made mortars being fired by some protesters near the Supreme Council building which is close to this store couldn’t darken my mood! God had said I could go shopping for a sewing machine!!! When we told the sales girl which machine we wanted, she told me it would be a few days to get one in as they only had the floor model which was scratched up.

A couple of days! I was sure God had said to move forward with this. My disappointment must have been evident as the sales girl told us that she would see if one of their other stores had one in stock. She looked on the computer and found one but we weren’t sure where that particular store was. She then found one at yet another store with which we were familiar and also would not be way out of our way. We said that one would be fine and I was so thrilled we were going to be able to get it that day!

We paid for the machine there and while the girl was calling the other store to tell them that we would be picking it up, the manager came over and took our receipt. He wrote down someone’s name at the other store on the back of it and told us to ask specifically for that guy and he would take care of us. We thanked everyone for their help and headed off to the other store. We stopped at the store, asked for Pablo, gave him the paperwork and sat and waited. About fifteen minutes after we got there, we were walking out with a beautiful, brand new treadle sewing machine and the cabinet in which it fits! Pablo loaded the cabinet in the back of our car
and Jim set the box with the machine in next to it. And off we headed to Tipitapa!

We crept down the muddy dirt roads. The annoying holes had become canyon-like in size with all the rain they’ve had recently. It seemed like it was taking forever to get to Danelia’s. As we pulled up in front of their little house, we both saw at the same time that the door was closed and the window board was up…they weren’t home! Of course, the neighbors all came out to see who was driving a car down their narrow little road. The neighbor boy recognized us and waved…others just stared. We’re used to it and we wave. Sometimes they wave back, sometimes they don't.

We decided to go over to Miguel’s, thinking that maybe she was over there with the kids. I was hoping and praying that something hadn’t happened with Kenneth. We pulled up in front of Miguel’s mother’s house and her door was closed. My heart sunk. Jim pulled forward a bit so that we could look down the side of Miguel’s mother’s house to see Miguel’s little house. There stood Elizabeth in the doorway. She waved and then stepped back in to the house…Miguel was asleep and she woke him up. He came out to see us, with a worried look on his face which worried me. It turned out to be nothing. He was worried that something had happened as we were unexpected.

I asked him if he knew where Danelia was. He said yes…but nothing else. I asked him if he would tell me. He said yes…but nothing more. I was ready to choke him! He grinned and told me she was actually at the church in a meeting for the fund-raiser. I asked him if he would go get her for me and that I would only keep her for just a few minutes. Off he went.

A few minutes later, Danelia and Miguel came walking down the street. We greeted one another and she said she was surprised to see me. She told me that she had taken Kenneth to the hospital that morning for a check-up and the doctor said that he was no worse…we both prefer to think that means that he’s better…he wasn’t having any pain that day and he had an appetite although he was tired from the bus ride to and from Managua. He seems to be over the respiratory infection and his fever was gone. It was a good day.

I told Danelia I had a surprise for her. Jim opened up the back of the car and it took her a minute to realize what we had in the back of it. When the realization hit, her eyes opened wide and she covered her mouth…she was speechless! Her eyes got teary and she hugged me tightly and kept thanking me. I asked her what she wanted me to do with it and she said to put it inside her mother’s house and that she and Arturo would take it home when he got home from work.

She was so happy! That sounds so flat but she really was! I told her that there were people in the U.S. who wanted to help them with their situation and they enabled us to be able to buy that. She said now she could work and maybe help ease some of the burden from Arturo. She talked about how God just continues to bless them in the midst of this thing with Kenneth. I didn’t even get to say it…she beat me to it…she said that she wants to bless others like she’s been blessed.

We didn’t stay long. She had to get back to her meeting and we needed to get back home. We parted ways with both of us thanking God for His goodness and His faithfulness. Never did I dream that buying a treadle sewing machine - that wasn’t an antique – would ever be in my future…and Danelia never thought one would be in hers either. I wished I would have had my camera…