Visiting Miguel...

Sorry I’m just now getting around to writing about our visit with Miguel…although our first visit was over two weeks ago, I still want to share it with you. I wish you could have been with us. Miguel lives in Tipitapa which is about 20 miles east of Managua. Normally, he is off on Mondays, but instead of giving us directions, he rode the bus an hour to meet us at the church in Managua where we have his English lessons. He wanted to ride with us back to Tipitapa to ensure we wouldn’t get lost. When we pulled up in front of the church, I almost didn’t recognize him standing on the curb. He was dressed in his best clothes and was waiting for us.

The Friday before we were to meet with him, we had discussed what the plan would be for that Monday. He said his mother would fix us lunch. I asked him what I could bring. That offer, which is typical for women in the U.S. would become a source of confusion that lasted longer than the conversation. Miguel didn’t understand what I meant and I tried to explain. I asked if he wanted me to make a dessert, bring a vegetable or help with the meat. He still didn’t seem to understand. Finally, I told him not to worry about it and that I would think of something. I was satisfied and so was he. Later I was to find out that neither of us had been communicating clearly with the other.

We enjoyed our conversation on the way to Tipitapa, with Miguel pointing out sites which were unfamiliar to us. As we turned down the street to his house, Miguel, very excitedly and quite suddenly asked us to stop the car. We thought we must have passed his house and I was a little baffled as to why he was trying desperately to open his car door. Jim unlocked the doors and Miguel jumped out. A little girl who was walking towards us, recognized Miguel and began running as fast as she could in such a short span. He held open his arms and she jumped up in to them, hugging him tightly around the neck. It was his youngest daughter (Sara, age 8) who lives with her sister and their mother. The joy of the two seeing one another was really very touching and it was easy to see she loved her daddy dearly and he, her.

She got in the car with Miguel and he introduced us and then we proceeded on a few blocks further to his mother’s house. It was obviously well taken care of and the front of it had been painted in the not too distant past. The fence was in good shape and the walkway cleaned. Upon our arrival, Miguel’s wife, Elizabeth came around the corner of the house. She smiled shyly at us and greeted me with a hug and a kiss…a very typical greeting. I had made chocolate cookies and cherry bars and was carrying them with me. Miguel took them from me and handed them to Elizabeth who then took them around to the back of the house.

We walked around the corner and Miguel showed us their flowers and three birds (pigeons) that he was raising. Elizabeth was back at my side, stroking my arm, and resting her head on my shoulder. She seemed like a completely different person than the one I had met several months earlier. She was still shy but obviously wanted to be close. I put my arm around her and she seemed to snuggle in. The picture is all of us with Miguel's daughter, Sara.

As we got to the back of the house, Miguel’s mother appeared. He introduced us and she welcomed us to her home. We then met one of his sisters and her two children, Liseta (age 4)and Kenet (age 9), who has lymphoma. They are such cute kids and we had a ball playing with them. It wasn’t too long before another sister appeared and another niece…then a nephew and a third sister. Evidently, it was big news that we were there.

We also were introduced to the family’s two pelibueys…an animal that is said to be a cross between a goat and a sheep. They are also called haired sheep, meaning they don’t have wool but a coat of hair instead. We were told that the male one would soon become dinner. I think his demise is actually planned for tonight, New Year’s Eve. I’ve tried to talk Miguel out of doing in the pelibuey but I don’t know that I’ve been successful. I think if I would have had more time, I could have at least been sporting a “Save the Pelibuey” t-shirt but there’s no time for that…at least not now. The poor thing thinks he’s being treated very well. He doesn’t know they’re just trying to fatten him up for the kill!

Miguel’s family had plastic chairs set out for us and we sat down to visit…a bit of a challenge for us all. Miguel, who is just starting to learn English and we, who are just learning Spanish, actually communicate pretty well with one another but every time one of the relatives would begin to talk to us, we would struggle to understand them and Miguel would try his best to translate. I think it was as exhausting for him as it was for us! But it was a fun time with lots of laughter.

Miguel’s mother called him in to the kitchen while we played with the children. He then came out and asked me if I would go in and cut the cherry bars. Elizabeth, along with Miguel’s sisters and his mother, all scrambled to find enough little plates and bowls so that I could serve my dessert. I wondered why we were eating dessert first but didn’t want to ask Miguel. It took me a bit of time to realize that no one was cooking any kind of meal for us. The only thing I saw cooking on the open fire was a small pot of beans that had been made in to a soup for Kenet. I just assumed that his mother had changed her mind about the lunch. It wasn’t until later that it dawned on me that in the confusion of our earlier conversation, that Miguel must have told them I would be bringing lunch for us all…no wonder we had a crowd gathered! But since that realization hadn’t yet hit, I still wasn’t embarrassed or uncomfortable about it all.

Miguel had told us his house was small…that’s the understatement of the year! His mother’s house is actually pretty nice. She has brick laid down over the dirt in the front room and she has a regular stove which doesn’t appear to work as it didn’t look like there was any propane tank hooked up to it. There was an open fire in the back area behind the house. Right next to her house I saw a small storage shed…or so I thought…it turned out to be Miguel and Elizabeth’s house. Miguel took us inside. It was a tight fit. At one point, Elizabeth took my hand…her hand was cold and trembling. I asked her if she was nervous and she said she was worried what we would think. I told her I thought she was precious and I was both pleased and honored to be there. She smiled and held my hand even tighter. I wanted to take a picture of their house but just didn't feel comfortable asking to do so as they both seemed a bit embarrassed by its size and condition.

The middle of the room had a white tablecloth hanging from the ceiling dividing it in half. The bedroom half is completely filled up by a twin size bed which they both share. The other half has their clothes and personal belongings stacked as they have no other furniture. This was the ½ that all four of us stood in as we were shown cracked plastic picture frames holding pictures of their wedding and deceased family members. There are no windows and only one door. The “house” has a dirt floor and is built with scavenged wood and 3 pieces of zinc which Miguel saved for a year to buy. He has a door that has a lock to protect their “valuables” from those who might be inclined to either snoop or help themselves to their meager belongings. That’s difficult for me to think that’s the kind of family Miguel has.

Jim and I praised Miguel on his construction and then, he very seriously, began to tell us what he would like to do someday in the future to expand his house to almost double its size with a shower and a toilet. It was fun to watch his animated face as he described each part of the construction process but at the same time, it was sad to think that no matter how good his intentions, his financial situation precludes that from most likely ever happening.
After we finished our dessert…with two thumbs up on the chocolate cookies and lots of cherry bars left on the plates (a new, too-sweet taste for them…and at $6 for a can for cherry pie filling, I almost asked to take it back home!), Miguel and Elizabeth asked if we would like to go meet Elizabeth’s Abuelita (little grandmother). We said we would love to and said our good-byes to the family…I imagine all of us had growling tummies at that point!

Elizabeth’s grandmother lives in Tipitapa but it’s quite a ways from their house and she doesn’t get to see her much. She is the one who had raised Elizabeth, whose mother had died when she was 12 years old. This visit was an unexpected one and we were welcomed in with great fanfare. Elizabeth’s aunt and cousins live next door to her grandmother and they came over to meet us. Miguel has taught her cousin how to play the guitar and so we were entertained with songs by both of them. After we stayed for a bit, we decided we should go and as we got in the car, Miguel asked if we would like to go eat chicken. We said yes, thinking we were going back to his house. But instead, he directed us to a restaurant on the edge of town.

As we pulled in to the restaurant, I could hear Miguel and Elizabeth whispering in the back of the car. I realized that there had been a giant miscommunication between us regarding lunch. I felt terrible but didn’t say anything as we went in and sat down. Miguel had to go to the restroom and I asked Jim if we had enough money on us to buy the kids their lunch. He assured me we did. When Miguel came out, I heard him tell Elizabeth they would order one plate and share it. I waited a few seconds and then asked Miguel if he would do me a favor. Of course, he hurriedly responded that he would. I then asked him if he would please let us have the privilege of buying lunch that day. He hesitated for a moment and I reminded him he had already committed to my favor. He laughed and agreed, telling Elizabeth that she could order 1 piece of chicken for herself.
Obviously, that wasn’t going to fly with me. Elizabeth was sitting next to me and I put my arm around her and told her she could order anything she wanted and eat as much as she liked. She must weigh 80 pounds, soaking wet! She looked at Miguel to affirm that. I looked at Miguel just daring him not to! He smiled and said she could get more. So, she chose a dinner plate with two pieces of chicken and Miguel finally ended up with a dinner plate with three pieces of chicken. They ate every single bit of food on their plate, while Jim and I both left some on ours.

During lunch, Elizabeth and I began talking with one another. She told me about her mother dying and how much she missed her. She said that Christmas was really hard. It was then that I asked her when her mother had died and she told me 10 years ago on January 26th. I told her that had been my mother’s birthday and that she had died two years ago. She asked me if I missed her. I told her I missed her terribly and I could feel my eyes beginning that familiar stinging. I decided it was a good time to take a drink of my soda and I felt an ice cold hand take hold of mine. I just squeezed it tightly until I knew we could resume our conversation without emotion getting the best of either of us.

About that time, Elizabeth leaned in close to me and wanted to know if I talked to my mother. Thinking she didn’t understand that my mother was deceased, I told her again. She nodded her head that she understood that and then told me she talks to her mother all the time. I waited a second and then told her that I didn’t know if my mother was a Christian or not, so I couldn’t be sure she would be in heaven. Elizabeth looked at me for a moment and then asked me to repeat what I had said. I did. I then told her that I never knew if my mother received Jesus in to her heart or not and that was harder not knowing for sure than it was losing her to death. I don’t know that Elizabeth would concur but I do know she was thinking very hard about what I was saying. You see, Elizabeth is not a Christian.

Our lunch ended and it was time to take Elizabeth and Miguel back to their house. We gave hugs and thanked them for their hospitality and the pleasure of meeting their families. Elizabeth hugged me extra tight when it was time for us to go and asked when she would see us again. I told her soon. She had no idea how soon that would be…Christmas was in just a couple of weeks and we had plans for that family.

On the way home, Jim and I talked about what a special young couple Miguel and Elizabeth are and how thankful we are God has brought them in to our lives. Jim talked about how much Elizabeth seemed to cling to me. We discussed some of the things we know about her past, both distant and recent. I told him that God never wastes our hurts or our failures when we give them over to Him and that He had given me a tender heart towards Elizabeth. It is easy for me to love her in spite of all her “junk”. I believe that is possible only because I know God loves me in spite of all mine. The blood of Christ covers me and that same blood can cover her. Redemption is a powerful thing.

We know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has called us to minister to this couple, physically and spiritually, in friendship and in counsel. They are a blessing to us in spite of the fact that they have so many problems, with their marriage, with their families, with their finances…inside themselves. But in them, we see such potential. We know God can change hearts and heal hurts. We know God desires loving, healthy and respectful relationships and we know He still performs miracles in the lives of those who are willing to allow Him to do so. We are excited to see what God is going to do with this young couple. Please join us in praying for Miguel and Elizabeth...I believe they’re a great investment of your time.