In the waiting room...

Many of you continue to pray for and to ask about Kenneth.  This past week’s appointment was such a good encouraging visit for him in the respect that the palliative care doctor said that she’s so impressed with how well he is maintaining.  She did stress that he was maintaining and not improving.  His weight seems to have stabilized the last few months and his energy level remains good considering the cancer.  Now that he’s taking the morphine along with his other pain medication and as long as he stays on schedule with those, his pain rarely gets out of hand.  His appetite has returned and so he’s back to eating like he should…it’s only the occasional bouts of nausea or a more intense level of pain that seem to throw his appetite off.  

We continue to praise God for the work we see Him doing in Kenneth and through him.  Dr. Ortiz made sure to tell Danelia and us this time that she, too, believes in God and that she also believes in miracles but she made it very clear that she is a doctor first and that she believes in medicine and the work it does and that nothing has changed with Kenneth’s condition.  I’m praying that God will do a complete healing in Kenneth and use him to teach her that she needs to reverse the order of those beliefs!  But whether the Lord chooses to do that or not, we don’t doubt for one minute that as long as he’s drawing breath, God has a plan for him and we’re so privileged to have him as part of our lives.

We are always worth a few good stares from both parents and children who may not be used to seeing us sitting in the waiting room.  There are a few of the children who seem to be afraid of all of this white skin being so close to them but for the most part, the kids are extremely curious about us.  So, we often feel as though we’re on display.  This observation was reinforced to us during this hospital visit.

Kenneth became very bored early on this visit.  He tired quickly of the cartoons that they were showing on the television and he lost interest in the coloring things I had brought for them.  We did the routine thumb wrestling until that also got old.  Finally, I asked him if he knew how to play “Roca, Papel, Tijeras” (Rock, Paper, Scissors) and he told me no.  So, I explained it to him and Jim and I demonstrated how to play it. 

   

It was a new and fun game and before long, I realized that the children were starting to gather around and watch while Kenneth and I played.  I asked them if they wanted to learn how to play and they all said no but I watched them try to make the shapes with their hands.  So, I just told them to try it and I would help them.  Before long, we had “Roca, Papel, Tijeras” games going on all around us!  What was really funny was that when I first started playing with Kenneth, I would wrap my “paper” around his “rock” to show him how that constituted a win.  I also took my “rock” to break his “scissors” and took my “scissors” to cut his paper.  Well, watching the other kids play, I saw them do the same thing, imitating everything I had been doing to teach Kenneth.  This drove the point home even more that we are always being watched and how important it is that we are conscious to always show Christ at all times.     

The down side to this week’s visit was seeing one of our favorite boys that we’ve gotten to know at the hospital.  Luis is the same age as Kenneth and they were roommates during one of Kenneth’s hospital stays.  Luis and his family live about 5 ½ hours away.  They are a poor family but Luis’ has a priceless smile.  He grins from ear to ear and we are always glad when we happen to see him in the waiting room…that is until we remember why he’s there.  Luis has 4 younger siblings, one being a six-month old baby.  His papá, a quiet, gentle man, is always the one to bring him for his appointments due to the long bus ride and so his wife can stay home with the other children.  His father works on a finca, harvesting and separating corn…it is hard work and pays very little.

  

For the last few years, Luis has consistently looked stronger and healthier than Kenneth.  And even when we saw him last August, the last time we saw him before we came back to the States for furlough, Luis still looked good.  That’s why we were so shocked and saddened to realize that the horribly thin little boy with the gaunt face and dull eyes standing before us was Luis.  His cancer had come back with a vengeance and it was ravishing his poor little body.  When I looked at his papa, I realized he had the same empty look in his eyes that I saw in Luis’s…I thought I was going to cry on the spot.  It’s never easy to go in to the waiting room in the cancer ward…but somehow, seeing a child we had come to know and care for take such a dramatic downward turn in such a short time really hit me hard.

His father told us that they had been at the hospital for the last 20 days, staying in the housing area (a dorm type system) that is provided for those like Luis who are there for extended outpatient treatment or for parents to rest while their children are patients.  The doctors were trying to get Luis’ blood counts where they needed to be so they could start chemo again.  But, his numbers weren’t going in the right direction.  They were there that day to find out what that day’s blood work showed.  If the numbers still weren’t where they needed to be for treatment, they were going to send them back home and have them just get what treatment they could if and when his counts improved.  Even before Luis had his appointment that afternoon, I think we all knew that there was not going to be any treatment and that most likely, his counts are not going to improve.  

When Luis and his father went in to Dr. Mendieta’s office, Jim and I just looked at each other.  Normally, the time the doctors spend with their patients is no more than 10-15 minutes, going over that morning’s blood work and then writing scripts for whatever medications might be needed.  Occasionally, a doctor will spend a little longer and we find that happens quite often with Dr. Ortiz and Kenneth as she seems to be very thorough in discussing things with Danelia.  Dr. Mendieta is not known to spend that extra time with his patients.  It was almost thirty minutes later, when Luis walked out of his office with his head hung down.  His father stayed in the office.  Luis didn’t even smile at us when he walked by us to go over to another office across the hallway.  Finally, his father came out and even behind his sunglasses and his hat pulled down low, we could see the face of a man who was shaken to his core.  

Danelia went and talked with him for a few minutes and then came back and told us that they were sending Luis home and that things didn’t look good at all.  Luis not only looked bad, he was bad.  She also told us that his father had stayed so long in Managua that he had lost his job at the finca.  She said that he was going to have to take the regular bus back home because they didn’t have the money for the express bus which would cut the travel time by a couple of hours and he didn’t know if Luis felt strong enough for the bus ride that day.  He hadn’t felt like eating that day.

Jim and I were just sick over the news.  We have really come to care for this brave young man…who is just one of many brave children that we see each time we go…too many.  I had asked Jim when they went in to see the doctor if we could send some money home with Luis’ papá and of course, he agreed without hesitation.  Thankfully, I try to keep a little extra tucked away in a pocket in my purse and so I discreetly got it out and tucked it in my jeans’ pocket.  When his father went out in the hallway to find Luis, I followed him.  I asked him what the doctor said and he told me in a very shaky voice.  He indicated that the papers in his left hand were prescriptions for medications and the paper in his right hand was for the hospital nearest their home town.  I got the feeling that he probably didn’t read well and that he was repeating instructions from Dr. Mendieta.  

When I replied that we thought a great deal of Luis and that we would be praying for him, I realized my own voice wasn’t nearly as strong as I had wished it would have been.  His father just looked down at the paperwork in his hands and nodded.  I took his hand in mine and pressed the money in to it.  He was shocked at first that I would reach for his hand but I think he was even more shocked at what I had left in it.  I told him that he was to use that to buy food for his family or medicines for Luis.  He simply nodded his head and agreement and rasped out a teary “Gracias.”  I walked back in to the waiting room and sat down next to Jim, with that sick, hollow feeling you get when you know that things just aren’t going to go the way that you really want them to go in situations like this.  

And that’s how some days go in the waiting room at the cancer ward for children.      

Spewing steam...

CAUTION...This blog post is all about me feeling sorry for myself.  I wrote it out of frustration and to let off some steam and worry...God let me have my little emotional snit and then reined me back in to where I need to be...resting in Him.  Please feel free to skip it and go on to the next one which is about Kenneth and his friend, Luis and is back to being about our ministry. :)

 

Well, since the car is once again at the mechanic’s…3^rd time this week, I have some unexpected “free time” today and thought I would try to get you caught up with us again.  This blog is being written more for my sake than for your information.  It’s going to be like the jiggly thing that lets steam out on a pressure cooker.  If it doesn’t release that pressure, it will blow up.  That’s how I feel today.

Since our return from the States at the end of November, way too much of our time and resources have been spent on car issues.   I find that frustrating on so many levels…we’ve had to cancel plans, change schedules and miss out on numerous opportunities…and those are just the things we’ve known about…who knows what we may have missed and not even be aware of it? 

We know a 13 year old car with over 147,000 known and hard-earned kilometers put on it is bound to have some problems and those normal kinds of things like new shocks, brakes, tires, battery, etc. are not the issue.  It’s the continuing electrical problems that continue to plague us and the lack of ability to get replacement parts that are now starting to create even more issues.      

Jim and I agree that we would be fine with our car…if it could just work as it should.  The problem is that has not happened for a long time now and we’ve just been putting costly band-aid after band-aid on the problems and it’s never “fixed”.  We just keep thinking if we just this one more thing worked on, then we should be good to go…that’s just not happened and I don’t know if it ever will.  We, or at least I, have reached the point where I no longer feel safe and secure in our car as we should.  We just can’t depend on it.  We’ve reached the place that we’re no longer feeling that we can be effective in our own ministry when we can’t follow through with the plans that we have made because of car problems.  It seems as though this is like a line of dominoes that’s been knocked over and they are now falling faster and faster and we can’t stop them. 

We have adapted to not having a radio or cd player…that forces us to use that car time for other things, prayer time, conversation, solitude with the Lord.  We’ve even adjusted to not having a working speedometer or gas gauge.  Neither of which I am happy without but we’ve managed and as long as the odometer works, we can get along without them.  We try to avoid driving at night since the headlights, turn signals and taillights all choose to work sporadically.  Those issues are traced back to the electrical problems, which just can’t seem to be resolved, and are also now, somehow causing a drain on the battery so that we’re never sure when the car is going to start and when it’s not.  That coupled with the problem with the door locks and windows has now knocked down the next domino which is that it’s affected the car alarm system as well.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  Sometimes the interior light works, sometimes it doesn’t.  The a/c problems continue and I don’t honestly understand why or even if that has anything to do with the rest of the car problems but without being able to roll our windows up and down, we have to have a/c…or to be honest, I should say that’s the one luxury I really would like to hold on to here.

So, you might wonder if I do anything other than complain about this car.  I do.  I cry.  And I pray.  I have prayed asking God to just keep it going and to keep us safe, and He’s been incredibly faithful to do so.  As a matter of fact, I can’t imagine what we would have dealt with if He hadn’t kept His hand on us.  So far, we’ve not been stranded anywhere that has put us in danger.  And so far, we’ve not had anyone break in to our car or try to open the doors when they were unlocked.  He’s protected us as we’ve traveled out of town in to areas with which we’re not familiar and He’s brought us back home safely.  So, in spite of my complaints, my Father is so good to us.   

So, I have to tell you with a sense of embarrassment that this morning, I prayed for God to provide a more reliable vehicle for us – one that would still allow us to go to the more remote areas that we sometimes find ourselves and one that would function as it should.  It’s the first time I’ve seriously prayed for a different car and even though I did so with great hesitation, I’m ashamed to say that I did ask for that.  I really do try not to pray for “things” but to pray for God’s will.  I want to be content in my circumstances.  This morning, seemed to get the best of me.  Paul would not have been happy with me, that’s for sure!

I shared that with Jim when he got back from dropping the car off at the mechanic’s and we talked about it…about how guilty we feel in even asking for such a thing and yet not sure what else we can do.   So, instead of praying for a different car, we have decided to begin a concentrated praying together that God will resolve this car issue once and for all.  If He can get our old car fixed to where it’s safe and operates as it should, we’re good with that.  We really are.  If that’s not to be the answer, then we’ve decided that’s something the Lord will work out.   

It was after Jim prayed with me that I could feel much of my apprehension and guilt of my own prayer dissipate.  I’m so thankful for a husband that ministers to me in the way that I most need. 

The Lord really has kept His hand on us and I need to focus on that far more than on this situation.  It’s not often that I get so completely discouraged about something, but I’ve allowed this car thing to occupy far too much space in my mind and on this blog.  So, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system (hopefully!)…let’s look at some of the other things that have been going on with us.  The next blog is back to the subject of ministry.

One Christmas Card...

This is something I just posted on my Facebook page and thought that I should go ahead and put it on the blog as well.  I would be very grateful if you would share this with others you may know who might want to  participate in this simple yet very special ministry.  

I have a HUGE favor to ask of all my Facebook friends.  You know how at this time of year you always hear about someone who is battling cancer who would like to receive Christmas cards?  Well, I have just found out that the wife of a guy I went to high school with (yes, that was years ago!) has Stage 3 colon cancer.  Mike had asked his daughter to send a Christmas card to Cynthia as they don't think she is going to make it see next year's Christmas.  The daughter has ended up making a FB page called One Christmas Card (you can check it out and read the story yourself) and is asking for folks to just send Cynthia a card.  She is NOT asking for donations or gifts or anything other than for a Christmas card to be sent to Cynthia.  Could you maybe do this?  What a wonderful gift you would give to someone you don't even know...and we know Christmas is all about giving!  It doesn't even have to be a new or fancy card...but if you could do this, I would be so grateful.  Jim and I are going to try to send a card from here and hope it gets to her on time.  I am going to give you her mailing address...oh, and she doesn't seem to know why she's getting all these cards so please don't mention that Mike's daughter is behind this.  Also, if you don't want to sign your names, you can do it anonymously or even sign it with Mike's name!  Isn't this a beautiful and simple way (as well as inexpensive) for everyone to come together to bring a little bit of joy to someone's life?  Thank you so much!!!
Her name and address are:

Cynthia Flaherty
274 North Fish Haven Road
Lake Ozark, MO
65049  

I believe that I know and love some of the most generous and kind-hearted friends on the face of this earth and so I am looking forward to knowing that Cynthia is going to have an inundation of Christmas cards...please remember to pray for Cynthia before you mail the card and if God should bring her to your mind at other times, I know that Mike and Cynthia would appreciate your prayers of intercession on their behalf.

Aaargh!!! Cranky over car repairs....

Car repairs make me cranky!  Or maybe it's the need for car repairs that makes me cranky.  Or...maybe it's the car repairs that never got repaired that make me cranky.  Or maybe...it's figuring up how much we've spent on car repairs that had been completed, that remain to be completed and that were just completed today.  Whatever...I'm a little cranky tonight and the majority of the crankiness centers around our vehicle and all those who have been associated with it the last three months!  Maybe that's why I've not gone anywhere the last two days...cranky missionaries aren't what any of us want to be - or see!   :)

As of tonight, the car's a/c appears to be fixed. The other repairs still remain to be re-repaired by the mechanic who supposedly repaired them in the first place!  And the billfold is empty.  Guess what we are getting each other for Christmas this year...and our birthdays and our anniversary?!  At least I won't have to spend any money on wrapping paper...and I suppose we've helped do our part in making a couple of car mechanics' holiday season a little brighter.  Just doesn't feel like a particularly great way to start our first week back...

Looks like we'll have to wait until next week to try to get back to the first mechanic's place to have him work on the car again.  We got a call tonight from Susanna saying that Kenneth has an appointment at La Mascota early in the morning so we won't be able to do anything more with the car's issues tomorrow.  And I'm thinking we probably are going to miss our pot-luck Christmas dinner at our pastor's house as tomorrow will most likely be a long day and I won't have time to fix anything when we get home...plus, we'll most likely be tired and sticky after a day at the hospital and in the neighborhood. 

I'm looking forward to getting past these rough patches in re-acclimating to life here.  Three months in the States and I'm conditioned to expect things to go pretty much as scheduled and for people to do what they say they will do.  I have to remember I'm in the Land of Nothing-Goes-as-Planned and living in the City of Good-Intentions-But-Not-So-Hot-Follow-Through!  Saying it's a quick and easy adjustment is a stretch for someone who loves to plan their work and then expects to work their plan!  

These are just minor irritants in and of themselves...I think it's when they're hitting one after the other like falling dominoes that my frustration level grows.  

I don't want to end this on a negative note so let me just say how terrific the weather has been the last two days!  Beautiful skies, lovely breezes and daytime temps in the mid to upper 80s with night time temperatures down in the mid 60s!  Glorious!!!  And...there's always next week to look forward to now, isn't there?   

Back in Managua...

Our travel day back to Managua: Mandy took us to the airport to see us off. We were so grateful that our four cases all came in under the maximum weight limit. We had to buy a new suitcase this trip home as the old one had reached the TSA’s maximum allowable weight on duct tape on a suitcase! At least that’s what I told Jim, anyway.  It has been several years since we had to buy luggage so we were both a little shocked by the prices they were asking for a fabric covered version of a Radio Flyer on end! But, after much searching and a last minute shopping trip, we found a Samsonite that I’m hoping proves to be baggage-handler proof for at least a handful of round-trip flights. I’m not too worried about it being gorilla-proof as I’ve not seen any actual gorillas slamming luggage marked “Fragile” on the beltway.



This is the first time in several years that we have been able to fly out of Rogers for less than out of Tulsa and it was so nice for Mandy to not have such a long drive home. Because we arrived at the airport early, we were able to sit and visit for awhile before we had to go through security. The time chatting together was wonderful but the good-byes are still heart-wrenching. I always try to brace myself to not break down and cry and I always fail. I’m sure that every-time I go through the security checkpoints that the TSA officials must think I’m grieving…in some respects, they are right.


For some reason, our flight was late arriving so we were late taking off. It was not an issue for us as we had a 4 hour layover between flights but I know there were some on the flight who were very concerned about the delay. We had a very entertaining and very attentive steward on our flight who was named Boudreaux…I’m guessing he was from Louisiana. He seemed to go out of his way to speak with each passenger and to appear sincerely concerned for our comfort. That probably wouldn’t bear much notice except when we saw him later in the concourse at Houston, he remembered us and made a few sentences of small talk, asking where we were going, etc. I appreciated the personal exchange in this venue, which is by nature, a fast-paced, non-personal world all its own. So kudos to Boudreaux and those rare few who are like him!


The 4 hour cushion between flights proved to be a blessing. My knee held out but I obviously wasn’t up to any power-walking and so it was just so nice to not have to rush from one gate to the other…naturally located at opposite ends of the airport! We stopped along our hike and ate a late lunch at Panda Express and then found our departing gate. We each had our Kindles and so we read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer and I took a short nap…trusting Jim to nudge me if my mouth should fall open or I should begin to drool. Never felt any nudges but my throat was a little dry when I woke up…


Our flight to Managua was also a bit late to board and it was completely full. Our seats happened to be on the exit row which didn’t give us any more space width-wise, but did give Jim a little bit more knee room which made it a tad more comfortable for him. We got out on the tarmac and seemed to be sitting there longer than normal. Finally, the captain came on the p.a. and told us that we were overloaded and that he would need to burn off some more fuel before we could take off. I prayed that it wasn’t our stuffed-to-the-gills carry-ons causing the problem and that he would know how much to burn off and how much to keep for the flight! 


There were 3 North American men, all traveling separately, sitting directly behind us and two of them sat and talked together throughout most of the flight. The young man in the center seat was a Christian and he had engaged the gentleman on the aisle seat in conversation. Most of it was focused on the guy in the aisle seat explaining about his business in Nicaragua and how it benefitted the Nicaraguan people. He is somehow involved in a Zona Franca…which are nothing more than giant sweat shops…long, long workdays, lousy working conditions and ridiculously low pay. I think I would have to disagree that he benefits the Nicaraguan people…I tend to think most of the employees who work there tend to be exploited and not benefitted.


The young man in the middle seat asked lots of questions and they were very relaxed in their conversation when the young man began telling the other man why he was going to Nicaragua. He was with a small medical team who were going up north to do some free clinics. He then told him that the reason he was doing that is because he wanted to show the love of Jesus Christ in a very practical way. The aisle guy got very quiet. The middle man (so to speak) also told the aisle guy that God had a plan for his life and then began sharing the gospel with him. Jim and I smiled at each other and we both began to pray silently for the holy encounter going on behind us.


As we were nearing Managua, I realized that the young man sitting by the window had not participated in any part of the conversation going on in the seats next to him. I glanced back at him several times (the 3rd seat has been removed on the exit rows so it allows for an open space there). He held a book like he was reading it but it was obvious he wasn’t. He closed it up and began looking out the window as we were low enough that we could start seeing lights in some of the outer areas.


I turned toward the man and asked him if this was his first visit to Managua. He smiled and told me that it was his second and that it was for business purposes. I asked him if his business kept him in Managua or if he was able to travel to other areas of the country. He told me he would be staying mainly in Managua and the Masaya area but would someday love to come back with his wife to just visit. He told me where he was staying and that the company he was working with was very good to have someone available to pick him up and they assign him a car and chauffeur. We chatted for just a few minutes and he asked why we were going to Managua. I gave him the Cliff’s notes version of the “why” (I can be brief when time is of the essence!) and he got a really funny expression on his face. About that time we were landing and so I turned around and faced the front as Managua landings are notorious for being a little rough. This one did not disappoint.


I asked Jim for one of our business cards and had him write our current cell phone number on the back of it. I then turned around and gave it to the young man and simply told him that if he should find himself in any kind of jam or needed any help, to just give us a call. He looked shocked and then very pleased and then thanked me. I just smiled and turned around and silently prayed for him. I was pretty sure that He doesn’t know the Lord. During that brief conversation, we never introduced ourselves. Not sure why, but God has brought him to both Jim’s mind and mine several times during the past few days. I figure God has a reason for us to be praying for him and so we do. Hopefully, one day, I’ll bump in to him in heaven and find out why.


I wrote a little bit on Facebook re: Day 1 and our car problems. I’ll try to summarize it pretty quickly here: a friend used our car while we were gone and the car decided it was an opportune time to begin to fall apart! She took it a mechanic who was one of those” friend of a friend” guys and who was supposed to be really good and was giving a great deal besides. Not so convinced. Yesterday was the first chance we’ve had to drive it since our return. What we found was that the a/c no longer works, the RPM gauge has quit working (which goes along with the non-functioning gas gauge and speedometer – both of which quit the last two times we were Stateside!), one of our belts squeals horribly, the front door locks will unlock themselves every few minutes, the windows weren’t rolling down or up when they were supposed to do so and the back door won’t unlock.


Yesterday morning, after we had our quiet time, we went out on the balcony off of our bedroom since it was cooler outside than in…we had lost electricity and as a result, had no fans and no coffee. The fans are a must when it’s hot but the coffee is close to crucial year round. While we were sitting there, Eddie, one of the complexes handymen saw us on the balcony and greeted us. I asked how he was doing and he said fine…and then when I asked how his baby girl was doing, Eddy walked over to stand just below us. He told us that she had an operation last week to have two cysts removed from her eyelids and that she will have to have another surgery before long to remove one off the other eye. He said she was doing very well and he thanked God for that. He also thanked us for asking about her and said that if we needed any work done in our house, to just let him know. At the time, I didn’t…but he did have to come today to replace a washer in my kitchen faucet. That type of repair is included in our rent but I gave Eddy just a little money since I just wanted to bless him. He was so grateful and thanked me several times.


Back to yesterday…I have to admit I wasn’t giddy with excitement as we left for lunch yesterday. The issues with the car were just so frustrating. Jim and I went to Pizza Hut to eat where we could get our cheapo $8 for 2 meal…of course that now $8.25 meal doesn’t include our drinks or the $2 special on cinnamon sticks but still, it’s a very reasonably priced meal all in all.


As Jim and I were sitting in the booth waiting for our waiter to come take our order, we were talking about how routine everything seemed to be. I told him that I had always been excited about returning to Managua before but that this time, I felt more resigned to it and that maybe we weren’t supposed to be coming back. (Remember I told you how hard it was for me to leave this time?) I said that I wished I knew for sure that’s where God wanted us. No sooner had I gotten the words out of my mouth than one of the waitresses named Jenifer came up to us and quickly greeted us, shaking Jim’s hand and giving me a kiss on each cheek. She said she had not seen us for a long time and wanted to know if we had been on vacation. (I didn’t think we went there to eat that often!) I told her we had been in the States for the last three months and had just gotten back the night before. She quickly pointed out that she was going to have a baby in March and placed my hand on her rounded little tummy. The baby’s name is Alexis and I’m sure will be as beautiful as her mama. I congratulated her and she told me she was so glad we came back to Nicaragua. After she walked off, I told Jim I had spoken too soon.


After lunch, we went to get some money changed as we had spent most of what I had on me for lunch. Our cambistas (moneychangers) are brothers and they sit under a tree on a busy street in Managua and change money for those who pull up in front of them. It’s Managua’s version of a drive-through bank! Before we even pulled up, one of the two brothers, stood up and began walking to the curb. When I rolled my window down (and it stayed down on its own, thank goodness), he reached in, shook hands with both of us, told us that he had missed us and wanted to know how our vacation was. He and Jim did their transaction and as we were getting ready to drive off, he said he was glad we were back in the country. His brother waved good-bye. I was surprised that they had missed us but again, pleased that someone had noticed we were gone.


The final “welcome home” for the day came at the grocery store. One of the sackers we have known since the store opened was so excited to see us. He told us he had missed seeing us and wondered if we had moved away. I told him we had gone to the States for a visit. He said he was glad we hadn’t moved back. I want to say that it’s because we always speak to him when we’re there but I think it’s more about the fact that we give him a tip when he carries out our groceries. Either way…those were nice words to hear. And those positive strokes made for a much nicer ending to the day.


So now, we’re on Day 2 of our return to Managua and I think I finally have everything put away where it’s supposed to go, all the clothes got washed, the throw rugs washed, the thick layer of black mold cleaned from the fridge and chest freezer seals, Eddy fixed the leaky kitchen faucet today, the internet is finally connected, the plants got watered and we have Pixie with us once again!


We never know what we’re going to find (or find missing) when we leave for any length of time and this time was no different…other than the length of time we spent away. Three months is a long time to leave a place uninhabited in this climate. We have found a handful of termite runs throughout the place, but only one seems to have been active and it was a doozie! Jim sprayed the dickens out of it and smacked an already flat scary looking bug/spider thing. The closest picture I’ve found on the internet that resembles it is a creepy looking crawlie called a tail-less whip scorpion. They’re not supposed to be harmful to humans. We’ll never know where that one was concerned. Gave me the willies!


There are several new stains on the ceiling which indicates it had several leaks that we didn’t have before and the sheetrock tape is coming down in a couple of areas. The bodega flooded while we were gone but doesn’t appear to be any major damage out there. And, all in all, the house seemed to fare okay. I think it helped having Margarita continue to come in 3x week and everything still seems to be in its place...plus most of my plants made it.


Today, Jim and our Nicaraguan friend, Martin (who picked us up at the airport), went to get a couple of estimates on getting the a/c repaired. The first place wanted an arm and a leg to fix it and the second place wanted just an arm…we’re going with the arm guy and just praying he knows what he’s doing! Jim and will take it back tomorrow morning and leave it and hopefully, we’ll get it back tomorrow afternoon with a working a/c. Martin is going to follow him there so that he can bring him back home. If that works out as we hope, then Jim and our friend will take the car on Friday to the mechanic who worked on it while we’re gone to figure out what repairs need to be repaired. I’m assuming the mechanic won’t charge for this visit.


The car fiasco has changed our plans for this week but that’s okay. We probably needed to take a few days to get settled back in before going to visit everyone. Friday night, we’re going to a pot-luck supper at our pastor’s house. Saturday, we’ll stay close to home as there is a large scale political demonstration planned by the opposition to the ruling government. Sunday is church and lunch with friends. Looks like visits will have to wait until next week.

Finally...yet again!

I’ve come to the conclusion that I will never get caught up…and that I will never catch the rest of you up with all that happens in our days here.  I have wondered why it used to be so much easier for me to make the time to sit down and write.  I decided that was before we found ourselves “working” seven days a week!  I’ve also decided that we’ve allowed ourselves to get bogged down in all that we’re doing to the point that we’re facing some serious burnout.  What that means is that we’ve more than likely taken on more than what God told us to take on or in ways that He had never intended.  That’s wrong, as well as exhausting. 

First of all…Happy Anniversary to us!  We’ve been here three years now!  In some respects, the time has flown by…in others, I wonder if Jesus would be willing to move the date up on His return!  Have we acclimated?  For the most part.  Does this feel like home?  As much as any place can feel like home for people who don’t feel like they have one anymore.  Are we fluent in Spanish?  Not even close!  Are we glad we’re here?  Most days.  Has our ministry turned out the way we had envisioned?  Another not even close!  Do we still struggle?  Every day in one way or another.  Has it been worth it?  Only Jesus can answer that…we belong to Him.  What are we doing now?  Holding on. 

Mondays through Fridays (and sometimes, Saturday and/or Sunday afternoons), we can usually be found at CINAFE, the child protection center that we are currently volunteering at in the position of overseers.  It has to be one of the most taxing and tiring things we’ve done since arriving here three years ago…and that’s saying a lot considering I thought teaching at Los Cedros was going to lead to my early demise!

We have seen some amazing changes in the 15 children who currently live there.  One of the girls who was a master of manipulation when we first arrived has undergone a remarkable transformation.  She is hungry to know more and more about Jesus.  She is quick to help and has taken on the role of mentor to some of the littlest ones there at CINAFE.  She is a good student and has been demonstrating her natural leadership qualities.  She still makes some poor decisions and did so again recently, but for the first time ever, she has shown some genuine remorse for her behavior.  That’s a pretty big step for her. 

Another young girl would not allow any physical touch from us.  I could not put my arm around her or touch her shoulder when we first arrived.  Now, she almost knocks us over to give us her after-school hugs.  She will come in the office and just sit and talk…about her day, about her family, about school and best of all, about God.  She has memorized numerous scriptures and she is now starting to understand that although knowing God’s Word is wonderful to know, He expects us to put in to practice what we’ve learned.  That’s a harder lesson to learn…but isn’t it for all of us?

We are now entering a dangerous time at CINAFE…about 1/2 of our children are now 12 and older.  That means that there is a constant surge of hormones happening at any given time which only adds to the unpredictability of life there.  If that weren’t challenging enough, we also have staff issues, government regulations, upcoming presidential elections and all that entails, constant maintenance issues and rising prices.  We feel we are in a precarious position of trying to manage CINAFE in a way that honors God and meets the expectations of the organization’s ministerial board while trying to keep our employees in a state of satisfaction plus parenting 15 kids in a Christian manner in a culture that is so different from our own.  I’m sure it would be easier if we were 30 years young…we’re not!

There are days that we don’t get home until 8:00 at night.  We’ll have staff problems or problems with the children which makes it feel more like midnight when we’re leaving or we will have kids who just need some personal attention.  They know that we start trying to leave between 5:00 and 6:00 and somehow, that seems to be the exact time that one of them wants to talk, or they want to play volleyball or handgames or just hang on us for awhile.  Somehow, they don’t understand that we’re not 30 years younger so there are many nights that we go home with achy muscles or bruises or dirty handprints on what had been a relatively clean shirt…but we also go home those nights with smiles on our tired, line-etched faces and in our uplifted hearts.  Those nights are much more frequent now than they were a year ago which is a blessing…but it is also very tiring!

We have been able to implement some different programs for the children there and hopefully, these will grow in to something that will help contribute to a brighter future for these kids.  We now have a general scholarship fund set up for the children so that those who seek to further their education after secondary school (that’s like our high school) can have the opportunity to do so.  This fund is to be used for either college or a type of vocational training and we’re praying that this will someday be utilized by all of our children.  The need for a good education is so important if these kids hope to have a better life than the one they knew before they came to us.   

We also now have three treadle sewing machines that were donated by the Kenmore Kiwanis group from Ohio.  We have hired a woman who teaches sewing to come in twice a week to teach the older children how to use the machines so that they will all have learned a basic skill.  Although some of the girls aren’t too crazy about learning this craft, others are demonstrating a real talent which is very exciting to see.  This class is building such self-confidence in some of our girls who have really struggled in this area so we have already considered this program a success.

Another venture has been teaching a class in jewelry making.  That one hasn’t taken off as we had hoped but mainly because our accessibility to affordable quality materials is pretty limited.  We are going to continue to pursue this but are in the process of trying to tweak the program so that the few who show some real promise in this craft, can continue to progress.

One of my favorite programs that we now have going, is the weekly Bible study and discipleship program we now have in place.  We have a local church who sends several young women over every week to work with the kids through songs, stories and lessons.  We have seen some real spiritual growth happening in several of our older girls and that has been so encouraging.

Soon, we will be having Jillian Hoover with us for a month and she is going to help us with a brief music program for the kids.  Jillian is from our home church and we are looking forward to seeing God use her musical talent to minister to these children.  We want the kids to learn how to read music and play the recorder.  We also recently bought a small used Casio keyboard which we are hoping to be able to incorporate in these lessons and we are currently looking for a guitar teacher for our 12 year old boy who loves to strum it and play around with chords.  We will also be having a friend of Jillian’s visit with us for a few weeks.  Crystal Odell also loves music so we’re expecting lots of harmonious sounds to emanate from our munchkins there at CINAFE!

Okay…that’s our update on CINAFE.  Now on to Tipitapa and Rayitas de Luz.  Saturdays are full days for us there.  We have our adult English class which last for 2 – 2 ½ hours in the mornings.  The class has dwindled down to about a solid dozen students.  And out of that dozen, about ½ of them are serious about learning English and those six make Saturday mornings worth the sacrifice of our 1 day a week of sleeping in. 

After class, we eat a quick lunch that Danelia and Arturo have prepared for us and then we’re back in the hot classroom to take on the 20+ kids who come every Saturday afternoon for their English class.  Those kids energize me, that’s for sure…at least for that hour or so because I’m always drained on the way back to Managua! 

Last week, we had a special activity for the parents of the children and had about 30 parents show up.  Danelia, Anibal (Danelia’s brother) and I each presented an aspect of parenting.  My talk was the last and although it was short, my focus in my pitiful Spanish was the importance of giving God first place in the marriage.  I hadn’t planned on a question and answer session afterwards but a man stood up and asked if Jim and I argued and how we settled them. 

I had to laugh when he asked me and I quickly assured him that we most certainly had disagreements and that we were two very different people in our personalities and our mannerisms which often presented a challenge when we were on opposite ends of something.  Everyone laughed as many of them already knew us.  I also told them that even when I didn’t feel like it, I try to defer to Jim as God has placed him as the spiritual head of our family.  I realized I had been given an opportunity to keep sharing about the difference between a God-centered marriage and a me-centered marriage and so I jumped on that.  Jim also spoke up and shared a little bit as well.  We all felt the program went very well.

We then had a drawing for three prizes that Jim and I provided.  We chose household items that any family could use…2 towels and 2 washcloths, a small pitcher with six plastic glasses and three packets of juice mix and finally, three plastic containers which held a can opener, a scrubby sponge and 4 rolls of dishwashing paste.  We also provided the refreshments of cake and soda.  It was such a festive time and the parents were so great.  

We were really surprised and pleased by the turnout but then, God had yet another surprise for us.  Three different couples approached Danelia after the program and told her that they decided they would like to be married and wanted to know if we would let them use the school.  When Danelia told me that, I was speechless.  Finally, I asked her what prompted that and she said she didn’t know but that’s what they wanted.

We discussed it at length and the only stipulation we put on the use of the building for their weddings was that they would have to counsel with a pastor before the wedding and have a pastor be a part of the ceremony.  There are two types of wedding services here, a religious service and a civil service.  A church or religious wedding is not considered a legal marriage in Nicaragua.  A legal marriage is done by a lawyer and the cost for the paperwork is minimal.  A religious wedding is recognized only by the church as a valid marriage.  So, we’re asking the couples to “marry” the two services so that they will have a marriage that is acknowledged by both the law and the church.  We’re excited to see how this progresses and the impact it will have in the community.

The other use for the building is now in the preliminary planning stages.  Beginning in June, Danelia is going to start offering a children’s Sunday School class on Sunday mornings.  There have already been quite a few parents who have said they would like to send their children to the class and she is estimating about 20 children who want to come. 

Kenneth’s health continues to decline.  His legs are so thin now as the muscles have atrophied and his arms are no longer strong like they once were.  The doctor at La Mascota, the children’s hospital, has upped his pain medicine now to every six hours.  Last Friday, we all felt sucker-punched when one of the pediatric oncologists told us that he not only thinks the tumor in the chest is growing, he also indicated he thinks the cancer may have spread to the brain. 

I’m not accepting that diagnosis yet as the doctor is basing it on the past history of another patient and the fact that Kenneth’s white cell count was highly elevated.  But there have been no other tests to confirm that so we’re praying against that diagnosis.  I am not at all a fan of how medicine is done here and what confidence I did have has waned considerably with that kind of doctoring. 

Although Kenneth is declining physically, his attitude has never been better.   He is eating again and when the pain medication is doing its job, he’s full of smiles and jabbers like a magpie.  He loves to play games and his newest favorite thing to do while we sit in the waiting area at the hospital are hidden object puzzles.  I have a big book of these kinds of puzzles and he loves finding something before Jim or I do.  Cancer may be taking a terrible toll on his body but it hasn’t dampened his competitive spirit one iota!  The kid is brutal! 

I make light of this because that’s how we are getting through this right now.  Every visit to La Mascota is torture for me…and I’m not the one getting stuck with needles and poked and prodded in all the painful places every two weeks.  But I am the one who sees the babies with huge protruding tumors over the eyes, toddlers with horribly extended misshapen bellies due to inoperable tumors, young girls and boys hopping around on one leg due to amputations from bone cancer, children who look more like stick figures than human beings who are so weak that their coughs sound like strangled mews thanks to the lung cancers from which they suffer…these visits almost always bring tears to my eyes and sometimes, I can’t hold those tears back.  I look around at all the children that we see each visit (there is an average of more than 70 children treated each day as outpatients in the cancer ward) and my heart literally hurts at their suffering.  Kenneth just sees new friends with whom to share his puzzles or toys.

One day, I think Kenneth sensed what I was thinking as I sat and looked around.  He never said a word but just took my hand and squeezed it as if to reassure me that everything was going to be okay…it was as though our roles reversed for a moment.  I sat and stared at him and was horrified at the thought that as much as I hate those hospital visits, I am going to be devastated if the day comes (and the doctors are all sure it will come), that there will no longer be a need for us to be there because Kenneth will have received his ultimate and eternal healing.  On that day, his pain will have ended but I’m afraid ours will continue for some time.  And I’m so selfish in this…Kenneth has become such a part of our lives here.  He’s more than a little boy with cancer…he’s a little boy whom we dearly love.  Please continue to pray for him. 

Now going south from Managua is our newest ministry venture.  I think I told you about Mercy Plate Ministries?  I will explain in case I haven’t and if I have…consider it a quick review!  It is a fledgling feeding program for the elderly in a community called Vera Cruz which is south of Managua…and no, Vera Cruz is not close to our home either!  It is run by a wonderful Nicaraguan Christian couple who are from the Atlantic Coast.  Due to scheduling conflicts with our time in Tipitapa, we are currently unable to be present to help Segard and Elsie with the actual serving of the food but we have been helping financially and encouraging them with prayers and advice.

We have been able to bless Mercy Plate with some games, dishes, silverware, food and today, we took a load of donated clothes and shoes down for Elsie to hand out on Saturday.  The program is growing so fast.  A few months ago, Elsie started out with about 9 seniors who came for her first Saturday evening meal.  Now, they’re up to about 50 on the roster.  She not only gives them a good hot nutritious meal, she also does blood pressure checks and offers them a time of fellowship. 

We’re working on trying to figure out a way to do a home delivery system once a week for those that are homebound so that we can get to know them and their families and begin building relationships with them.  So many do not know Jesus and we know time is so short for a great many of them.

Our “big dream” for them is to build a covered outside eating area so that the rainy season will not keep them from coming.  There is an enclosed building they can meet in but it’s hot and they love being outside.  We want to get some plastic tables and enough chairs for everyone.  Those are big dreams but Segard, Elsie, Jim and I all serve the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills.  The project of building a simple rancho and some plastic chairs may look like a huge project to us…but we trust God to provide in His time.

Segard told us that many of the elderly in that community are skeptical of gringos coming in there as they associate so many of us with the Iran-Contra War so we have some hurdles to cross but we believe God has opened a door for us there and we don’t want to not step through it.  There is an uneasy dance with the churches in the community as they’re fearful of Segard wanting to start a “competitive” church.  Segard assured them that is not his intention but we all agree that we want to share Jesus with them.  Segard and Elsie are more about the service aspect whereas Jim and I want to be able to visit with the folks and find out where they are spiritually.  We’re also trusting God to provide us with that opportunity in His time. 

So, that’s a quick general overall snapshot of what we’re doing with our current ministries.  Before I end this I will tell you that this past year has been the most difficult year for me (and I would assume for Jim) for some time.  We will be coming back to the States in August and we’ve decided to stay for a couple of months this time.  We need some rest and we need to hear clearly from God what direction He wants us to go.  I am confident it will be to return here…I’m just not confident in what capacity.   We have many questions that we are laying before the Lord right now and we just want to be obedient to Him in our every response.  Thank you for your continued prayers, words of encouragement and support.  You are so precious to us.