Happy 4th Anniversary to us...

Happy 4th Anniversary to us!   This is an expanded version of the Facebook post.

It was April 29th, 2008 that we placed our feet on Nica soil committed to go wherever and do whatever the Lord would have for us.  We imagined giving our obedient "yes-es" would be so much easier than it sometimes has been.  We romanticized about the "sacrifices" we would be making.  We had no idea what those "sacrifices" would cost us until it came payment time.  We are not foolish enough to think there won't be more.  We were infants on the mission field where maturing is a necessity or returning home is compulsory.  

Four years ago, we were so idealistic...today we are much more realistic. But ironically, the vision remains the same. Share the gospel with those who have not heard it, explain it to those who do not understand it and then live it out before those who have not seen it.  Having the vision was simple...working toward its realization has been a little more difficult.  

Opposition has come in forms and from those whom we would never have imagined.  The language of those who profess to follow Christ should speak the language of prayers and encouragement...sometimes, though, we have heard white-washed whispers and words of discouragement, condemnation, accusation or empty promises...and what may have been even worse...not heard words at all.  Those were some tough days...days of feeling forgotten or days filled with doubts.  Thankfully, there have not been many of them.  God has been so very faithful to never have allowed us to sink too deeply in the life-sucking mire of self-pity!  He has blessed each of us with a spouse who doesn't tolerate that well in the other one!  Jim is much gentler with his admonition than I am...I'm still trying to figure out how to make "Snap out of it!" sound spiritual!  :)

We have learned much about the value of making and maintaining healthy relationships...with others, with each other and with the Lord.  Living without hiding behind all the distractions that the Land of Plenty offers can be quite disconcerting before it becomes liberating.  Our DNA of instant gratification and USA expectations runs deep and it has been at times, a stretch of either our adaptability or clarification genes to make the proper distinction between cultural differences, personal preferences and Kingdom expectations.   

We have maneuvered the landmine of car repairs and less-than-legit mechanics (still not out of that loaded field!).  We have learned some of the finer intricacies of shopping at the local markets.  We have welcomed friends and family with tears of joy and saw them off again with even more hot tears than I would care to admit.  We have opened our home to near-strangers and experienced both great guests and not-so-great guests.  We have had our eyes painfully pried opened to and our hearts sadly pricked by the hurtful behaviors of others who also call themselves missionaries.  We have had to seek the forgiveness of God and the forgiveness of others for our own offenses.  We have blundered culturally both here and there and sometimes, we wonder where home really is.  And then we're reminded, we are aliens and strangers and this is not our home...regardless of where a GPS might locate us.       

The Lord has both challenged and blessed us greatly the past 4 years. He has granted us countless acts of mercy and has been patient and forgiving untold number of times. His Hand of protection has shielded us in situations that we can recount and in times, I'm sure, of which we never knew.  He has led, He has prodded, He has encouraged and He has chastised.  He has comforted, He has provided and He has taken away.  But He has never left us in any of it.  

We have experienced very great highs and very low lows.  We have seen the most beautiful displays of God's creation and the ugliest and most depraved sign of man's nature.  We have gasped in awe at His handiwork and in horror at the manifestations of man's sinful rebellion.  We have been privy to have witnessed and to have experienced great moments of joy and profound moments of pain.  I could never have imagined what an adventure this journey would be nor would I have changed one single thing, although there have been times of heartache and discouragement. 

The Lord has grown my faith exponentially and He continues to take my breath away every time He takes my hand and guides me into areas I fear to tread!  Whether that is in a dangerous barrio after dark (with a window that won't roll up!) or sharing with the drug dealers about Jesus or praying with a family whose daughter is moments from death or counseling a young woman who is beaten daily by her husband or trying to console the family who frequents the local witch and medium after the death of their beloved grandmother.  None of those were places I would have chosen to go...but they were all places the Lord led me.    

I feel incredibly blessed today and am so excited to see what He has for us around the corner on this rough and bumpy road.  We sense that road is going to lead to a relocation for us and that He has something new for us in this next year.  As much as I want to stay "put" and settled, I don't see that happening.  But we'll see.  He has been good to keep us unsettled enough that we have to depend on Him so I would imagine "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."  That's Ozarkian for "Lynne...learn to travel light!"  I am just so incredibly thankful that Jim is the one who is traveling that road with me and that our Constant Companion is the Lord.  I love you, Lord...I want to love you even more and I am looking forward to the rest of our journey!

Another day at La Mascota...

Well, today's report on Kenneth is almost anti-climactic after last night's phone call from Danelia...she sounded so upset when she called me and so this morning was filled with apprehension as we made our way to Tipitapa to pick Kenneth up to take him to the hospital. 

He was running a slight fever when we arrived this morning and was quiet but he wasn’t nearly as ill as I had been led to believe last night.  After a couple of hours, he was back to being very ornery and more than ready to pester me while I tried to read!  So, I took a break and played with him, pestered him back and kept him supplied with activities to keep him busy. 

As the morning wore on, he became very alert and active and I became more and more tired!  We had gotten up a little after 5:00 this morning since we wanted to get to the hospital early…but Managua traffic didn't seem to be on the same schedule we were so we didn't get to there until a little after 8:00 a.m.  I was expecting a full house since we arrived later than normal but there really weren’t that many there yet.  That enabled us to get a seat in the front where there was room for Kenneth’s wheelchair and where we could sit directly under a ceiling fan.  Jim turned it on before we even sat down as it was already so hot in the waiting room and it wasn’t even crowded yet. 

Kenneth had his blood taken first thing and then we settled in the stuffy waiting room to wait.   I knew it was going to be a long morning but didn’t realize how long!.  Even though there weren't as many patients this morning as normal, those who were there all seemed to be on the sick end of their chemo.  Stretched across the rows of 3-seats were all ages of children, each in their own stage of misery…some were bald; some had facial sores, some were painfully thin with gaunt, pallid cheeks while others were so bloated from their chemo treatments that they looked as if they were human balloons; some whimpered, some cried aloud; a few were interested in the television, most were not.  Most just were in their state of endurance.  The pediatric oncology waiting room is not anyone’s favorite place to be.    

Every time we visit, there is always at least one child (besides Kenneth, naturally) who captures my attention.  Today, there were several.  One was a little girl, about 5 or 6 years of age who was terrified to go in to the chemo room.  She wore a scarf over her head and she was starting to have that “look” that most of the children there seem to have.  It’s indescribable, but it’s recognizable. 

The little girl began crying very loudly to the point she was almost hysterical as her mother drug her down the aisle, past us and out the glass waiting room doors and across the hall to the other set of glass doors which open in to the chemo waiting area.  Still screaming and trying to pull away from her mother, the little pulled her arm so abruptly that she inadvertently knocked the necessary paperwork out of her mother's hands.  Her mother yelled at her and slapped her bare shoulder - and slapped it hard.  Of course, this hurt the child and her screams changed from screams of terror to screams of pain.  The mother quickly grabbed her daughter’s arm again, bent down and picked up the dropped papers and then drug the child in to the chemo waiting room.  I was stunned at the scene that had just played out before me.  I looked around and no one even seemed to be paying any attention to it all…only Jim, Kenneth and me.    

It all happened so quickly…but not so quickly that there wasn't time for my own stomach to churn and my own tears to start.  I bent my head and shut my eyes and began to pray.  I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking for me because in my flesh, I would have been more than just a little angry with the mother for her lack of compassion and the harsh, hurtful manner in the way she handled her daughter.   But honestly, my tears were for the mother as much as they were for the daughter.  Her reaction is not an unusual sight here…some parents are very rough with their children, whatever their particular trigger might be.  I don’t know if this is the way this woman normally handles tough situations or not…I do know that she must be terrified to know her daughter is fighting for her life and furious that there’s nothing she can do to take that fight on herself.  I know that only Jesus can meet the need each one of them has. 

In those few brief moments that I prayed, the Spirit in me spoke to the Father and asked Him to provide comfort for the two unsettled souls across the hall, to bring His peace to their hearts, to take away their fear and anger, to make Himself known to both of them so that they would know that they have a Savior who is mighty to save.  When I opened my eyes, I saw Kenneth watching me intently.  He rolled his wheelchair closer to me and rubbed my arm.  His compassion for others amazes me sometimes and humbles me often.  The whole thing was over with almost as quickly as it started but I have re-played that scene a hundred times in my own mind today and those mental re-runs seem to go by much more slowly than they did the first time around.

In retrospect, I wish I would have been closer and I would have gotten the papers for the lady.  I wish I was fluent in Spanish and wise with my words so I could have calmed the child and calmed her mother.  I wish that children weren't such convenient punching bags or human pressure-release valves for their scared and weary parents.   And in all of those wishes and more, probably the one I “wished” for the most today is that cancer was a disease of the long distant past. 

The second person who caught my eye was a very tiny baby, only weeks old.  I’m not sure why he and his mother were there.  I am sure that his mother carried that same vacant look in her eyes that so many parents of children there carry.  The mother took him up to be weighed…this takes place in the waiting room in front of everyone.  The nurse writes the weight down on a scrap of paper and that info is given to the doctor.  Kenneth and a few other children there no longer get weighed.  It’s a subtle distinction that indicates the doctors don’t think that there’s really any point in it.  But the baby got weighed.  The mom was weighed first with the baby and then the nurse took the baby and weighed the mom again.  And after the mother got her little scrap of paper, she walked like a zombie back to her seat and sat very still.  I can’t imagine that a baby so young could have already been diagnosed with cancer…but then, I can’t imagine why a mother would come and visit such a place if there wasn’t a need.   

I didn’t see the third person who captivated me today.  I only heard him/her.  Like I said, we sat at the front and had our backs to the rest of the group so the only time we actually saw faces today, were during the trips to the restroom or the few times we turned around to see if the waiting room numbers were growing or dwindling. 

There’s always lots of noise in that waiting room…children crying, mothers talking, nurses and doctors bustling in and out, cell phones ringing, the t.v. blaring, etc.  Today, there was a child who had a recorder (we called them flute-o-phones when I was growing up!) and he/she was playing various children’s songs and Christmas carols!  I had to smile at those!  Eventually, I became engrossed in my reading and had basically tuned out all the noise around me, including the flautist, to the point it was just background noise.  But, not long after the episode with the little girl and her mother, I heard the most soothing music gently drifting its way up to us.  I realized the noise in the waiting room had diminished considerably and I concentrated on the melody being played.  It was “My Heart Will Go On”, the theme song to the movie, “The Titanic” and it was being played beautifully…on what was probably a simple, plastic child’s recorder.  The mood shifted in that room for just a few moments and it was as though a much-needed sense of tranquility settled over everyone there.  By the time the song was finished, it was quiet in the waiting room.  That’s not a rare occurrence…that’s a never occurrence…but today, it was.  Everyone seemed lost in their own thoughts, fussy children had gone to sleep, tired children slept and peace made a brief visit to the pediatric oncology waiting room.  We were so blessed by the ushering in of that peace.             

Now about Kenneth’s update…unfortunately, we didn't get the doctor I was hoping to get and because there were only two doctors there today and they arrived 2 ½ hours late for appointments, everyone was rushed in and out for their appointments.  This doctor is very difficult for me to talk with and today was no exception.  He wouldn’t let me finish my sentences and he wouldn’t answer my questions.  He only told me he wants to start Kenneth back on a low dosage chemo but there isn’t any of that particular chemo drug in the country and he has no idea when they’ll get more in.  He seemed to think I could just jump on a plane, fly back to the States, pick some up and come right back so he can start Kenneth on the regimen.  There is such a misconception here about Americans, their supposed importance (to whom, I haven’t quite figured out yet!) and their abilities to get whatever they want with no regard to cost.  This doctor needs a reality check along with about 90% of the country!

He said Kenneth’s blood work came out fine and that he thinks he just has a slight intestinal bug.  He didn’t feel that there was any kind of infection or anything to be concerned about but that he thought Kenneth should start the low dosage chemo again.  He is the chemo-happy doctor…the other two say he shouldn’t take it.  Grrr!  Anyway, his diagnosis and recommendation was determined by looking at his tongue for 3 seconds and listening to Danelia who spoke quite casually about a mildly ill little boy who had several bouts of diarrhea the day before...obviously not the same kid she called me about last night and not the same kid who was pestering the daylights out of me just a few hours earlier! 

So, once again, I don’t know what to think.  I was reminded of the story of the little boy who cried wolf.  I sometimes feel that we are dealing with a similar situation with Danelia.  We have many of these kinds of calls from her where she is almost crying, saying Kenneth is very, very ill and yet when we arrive at their house, whether it’s that same day or the next morning, he seems to be fine.   And going to Danelia’s is a commitment of time and resources since they live over an hour away from us.  But even so, Jim and I both agree that we can’t take the chance of not responding to these types of calls.  Kenneth matters.   

So tonight, I guess I am adding something else that I am asking the Father for regarding Kenneth and that is wisdom in these situations.  Thank you all for being so faithful to pray every time I ask.  I don’t want to be one who cries “Wolf” either but neither do I believe your prayers are “wasted”.  Kenneth is still with us.       

God's glory is all around...

Just put the first batch of mango bread in the oven...I love mango season!  Just wish it didn't correspond with 97 degree temps w/ heat index of 116!  And my kitchen faces the west which only adds to the heat...I wonder if I could bake the bread letting it sit in the sunshine coming in through the window???  It would be like my own Easy Bake oven Nica style! 

This morning not only started out hot, but also with a small earthquake hitting about about 60 miles southwest of us when we were doing our quiet time around 7:10 a.m. or so.  It was a slight one and did no damage but the tremor shook the furniture enough to get our attention!  Pretty timely when reading about God's incredible power! 

This morning also saw peace come to a war that's been waged all week on our bedroom's little deck.  I waved the white flag of surrender at the mourning dove that has been intent on building a nest in one of my flower pots to signify that she had won the battle.  I really thought the territory was mine and was willing to fight for it initially because I didn't want the mess of a bird out there nor did I want to lose my flowers, but honestly, I just don't have the heart to keep chasing her out. 

There is a plant place that has some of the more common U.S. plants at really good prices and so I have a small pot of two geraniums and some rose moss that we just planted last week...it was my own little piece of familiar flowers and reminded me of "home".  I loved it and have been making sure every day that the sun wasn't scorching the leaves.  I guess the soon-to-be mama bird thought it felt homey also because she has been relentless about re-building her nest every day. 

Oh...Jim just came down from upstairs and told me that we have an egg in the nest!  I'm glad I gave in!  I think it's probably going to be the closest thing to spring I'll see here this month!  Just the thought of baby birds right outside our bedroom slider makes me smile.  I do hope that Mama Dove realizes that the sun shining on that patio in the afternoon is brutal and could result in hard-boiled babies if she's not careful!  

God's glory has just been so evident all day today...from this morning's shaking to the tasting of His sweet, sticky mangos to the gift of new life beginning right out on our deck.  The wonder of His creation is only surpassed by the love of the Creator!